OMG
That really sums it up for me.
My job is the craziest thing. Really - it isn't crazy at all - it's just a mind warp. 2 and a half years ago i was lured to Seattle with a lots of money and stock options with the guise of an IPO happening.....oh about right now. So 3 months after I get heere the CEO decides he isn't going to spin the company off like he told me. So I wass like - well what about those options - those will just convert to options in the company I work for right? Well....he waffled.....the amount of those options don't compare and a year later he gives me a set of options NOT comparable to what I was originaly given. I mean people, one of thee reasons Tony and I moved here was because I thought I would be sitting on about $250K in stock right now. I mean, who turns down that kind of opportunity??? So for the last 2 years I have hated my job for many reasons. A few of which are:
- The boss doesn't give us or our product the time of day.Literarly.
- Everytime I come up with good ideas and present them....I am shot down....only to hear months or years later the same ideas out of other people or my boss.
- All the efforts to move forward with things have been underminded and people have been told to not listen to me.
- When I am being "real" and protecting the interests of the company by pointing out problem areass......I am being too negative.
- I have been cut out of meetings.
- If you loiter "too long" having a conversation with someone and one of a few managers see, you get the evil eye.
- I love having an office because there is no commotion in the office and you feel like you are in a tomb. Even the walls are thin...but they are better than in the cubes.
But hey....we have FREE drinks!!! LOL
So today we had a sit down with the big man - the one who hasn't given us the time of day for 5 years. And he basically wants to move forward by going backward 5 years later. I mean dude....the first thing you do is a business plan - where the hell was it 5 years ago? It amazes me how he can circle talk people into believing other people (of course no longer workign there) are the reason for the problems and where we are at today. Keep telling yourself that buddy! I mean he hasn't even sat down in 5 years and done a product review. But now he wants to do a business plan. He also wants to turn us into sales people and was talking about commissions and incentives and blah blah blah.....so then that had us thinking.....wait a minute, does that mean he is going to cut our salaries???????
Oh nelly. I just shake my head in a cloud of bewilderment. So as is I have now submitted my resume to Volt - who handles Microsfot staffing. I submitted my resume to a different Volt offices with a recruiter that I know. I have also submitted my resume to Microsfot directly for 13 different positions all in my realm. I don't care if someone laughs at me at the other end, maybe it will make them bring me in just to see who this character is. i want them to know I want to work there dammit. I am trying to jump off the cliff but I need someone to give me my parachute. I have lots of people tell me they think I am smart and I will be fine and such. And that gives me hope. But I don't interview well and I have difficulty getting to an interview stage as well. Not good combinations. I told Tony of all my employers once I work for them want me to stay or come back. I don't ever have that problem, it's just getting in the door for me. I guess part of it is I have a pretty strong aura - even when I try to tone it down I have a strong aura. I can't help it, that's me. But I do need someone to believe in me....someone that can offer me a job that is.
Please think lots of posititve juju my way.
~A
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