Boys vs Girls

So last Friday I had a new experience. It was a great experience however. On Fridays for 8 weeks Tony and I run Academy sessions for little kids (3 hours). I have 8 year olds. The first session is boys - I have 12 and the second session is girls - i have 10. It is in this scenario that I have 1) gotten to coach boys for the first time and 2) gotten to see the dynamics of boys vs girls in an even clearer light.

Let's just say it was fun and interesting and next week I will have a little better perspective on how to handle my groups. Out of both groups I have - half of the kids I think are fabulous - not necessarily because they are great little players though - and half that well would be good to push them off to another group. LOL

The biggest thing with kids is keeping them moving and interested. Keeping them interested takes some creativity however. It also kind of doesn't jive with how I "want" to coach (red light green light, sharks and minnows, cats and bulldogs, etc) - but, I don't coach young kids normally so it doesn't bother me much in these settings. But it is a good learning lesson for me. Starting any session with kids - my most frustrating thing is knowing their name. It is hard to give praise - if you don't know their name. It is hard to correct a problem or reprimand - if you don't know their name. In my boys group - half of them start with a C or Q - that whole "cuh" sound. So a little tricky. And next week they won't be wearing the same jersey or hats that helped me identify them like this last week - but luckily I can get names down pretty quickly.

As such I wanted to impart some noted differences between the sexes - cause I think it is an interesting dynamic. These are not listed in order of importance however.

Boy Vs Girl

#1 Asking them their name - Little girls will readily offer up their name and most of the time do it via one of two ways - they either are very proud of their name and bubbly and offer it up willing as in "you WANT to know MY name." Or they cock their head sideways and shyly look around and mutter their name - barely audible enough and since it isn't Amy - you usually have to ask twice. Boys - you ask them their name and all of a sudden they get quiet, pause for a moment and are pondering whether to tell you their name lest they be in trouble. It's like - what does she want to know my name for? What did I do? Is she going to tell my mom? but regardless - each group doesn't like it when you ask their name more than twice. And unfortuantely I have to in order to remember their names.

#2 Practical Application - boys may not 100% get what you asked them to do, but they got enough of a variation of it to try something out. So when teaching them how to do a scissor - which requires a step over and a cut - well, most did not execute properly - but they sure tried to pull something off that resembled what I showed them. So for example -the scissor is an inside out step over with one foot and a cut using the outside of your foot with the other foot. Half of my boys struggled with the cut - mainly because of the faint and most probably haven't been taught how to use the outside of their foot but so be it. On the step over - over half of them do an outside in step over or do some half flying concoction over the ball with a spin. It's in these instances that I just try to guide and correct some of them (while suppressing my laughter) and let the others just fly. After all - they are 8 and really, as long as they are trying that is good enough. With the girls - I don't think I got even one to try a step over. And cuts were tricky.

#3 Instructions - When giving instructions - boys want short instructions. After that, they take what you tell them and if they didn't quite understand - well who cares, I'll just improvise and pull something out of my 8 year old butt that seems good. This of course continues over time as they age. Girls - want to be told every last detail about the activity - lest they screw it up. Fear of failure or messing up is such a deterrent to little girls and their development. And even if you give them instructions - I gave them the same instructions as the boys - they struggled to even get the activity going. And of course because half of them like to be little chatty kathy things - they were talking while I was giving instructions and therefore continuously messed up the exercise and then got frustrated when I tried to correct them - because they didn't understand. (Talking while I am talking is a big pet peeve when I coach) And yes people, mean Coach Athena threatened kids in both of her groups with timeouts if they did not behave - Reece that would be you continuously kicking the ball against the backstop when I told you to stop - 12 times.

#4 Game time - little boys want to get the game on. It is where their competitive nature is able to come to the forefront and thrive. So as a consequence you always get asked are we going to scrimmage or when are we going to scrimmage or is it time to scrimmage yet. Little girls ask usually once - in the beginning. When game time does come around - different ball game. Boys are ready to play and play and play. There isn't any - I'm tired and bored with this now - when is it time to go home. With girls - half way through the scrimmage half of them are done and want to talk about Barbie. This is when the - how much longer do we have questions start.

#5 The push and pull - last night as I was falling asleep I was thinking about the dynamic of a group with young kids and this is how I felt. With boys - they have this unbridled energy that as long as you can harness and steer the ponies - you will get them to do what you want to do. There is that sort of let the wild pony be wild, but breaking them back in and then just kind of guiding them in the right directions. With girls - you have to push them to work. You have to push them to be motivated. You have to push them to try. You have to push them so they don't give up. You have too push them to have passion and motivation. You have to push them to be in shape. Boys - they will get in shape on their own by self motivating on a field of play.

My whole life anytime I have played or watched a guys team warm up - the boys always self motivate for warm up. They are out kicking a ball around, passing, juggling, moving. I saw a boys high school age team warm up a couple months ago and I loved it. The coach didn't have to interfere and structure a warm up - the boys just knew what needed to be done and went out and did it. They had balls flying all over the pitch to people all over the pitch - simply improvising with short passes and long balls to people. Girls - man I had rules with my girls teams and they still ignored them. The rule was you had to be juggling once you got your gear on. You could still talk - but you had to talk and juggle. Could be individual juggling or group juggling - i didn't care. Work on your first touch chickas. Well the majority of those times those slackers would be sitting on their butts when i drove up. Then comes the - oh no coach is here start juggling.

#6 Substitutions - I am going to use our girls team to illustrate this example best. Boys are much more win driven when it comes to sports. Girls turn into more it's all about me and my needs in sports. With boys - they have their own pecking order and their own pressure cooker. You can have a U14 boys team go out and play a game and do their own substituting. More so with indoor but still. If someone isn't pulling their weight or is too slow - out come the calls to get your ass off the field - you are now the last contributing member and you need to step off the pitch. And boys will do it. Girls - OMG - it's all about the amount of playing time and the quality of their time vs the team as a whole. I can't even tell you how many talks I had to have with my teams about the TEAM sport aspect. I once had a player come off after 20 minutes (I was just subbing so others could get playing time) and she got all pissy cause she didn't get to touch the ball once and she thought she should be in longer because of it. Our current girls team - Tony has trie the self subbing thing - doesn't really work with them. That whole - I didn't get as much playing time as so and so or why are you telling me to come off or I want to have more playing time. All about me me me me me me. This where that whole parity thing comes to bite us in the butt - as it relates to girls. Ok so i digress a little...........

So now you want to know who my favorites are of my 8 year olds don't you? Well that is easy. M two favorite boys. One is Ian and the other is Spencer. Ian reminds me of the child I may have and the boy I would probably pick if I could pick my kid. He is spunky and energetic. He gives a lot of effort - even if he doesn't execute great. He is one of the ponies I will have to bridle. he is a cutie pie with blond curly hair that is a little unruly. And Ian thinks I am great of course. Next would probably be Spencer. Spencer may not grow up to be a soccer play or an athlete. On the other hand - he just might. He is the kid that is a little stocky, doesn't seem to be quite a soccer player - but maybe he just needs coaching. Plain face with brown hair. But he has the most perfect disposition. This kid I think only said two words to me the whole time. he paid attention and was polite. he tried to execute what was taught and I didn't have to do anything to get this kid in line. He also picked up all my discs at the end and brought them to me without me asking. Now - I didn't ask cause I needed them for the girls sessions - but it was a very sweet 8 year old boy thing to do.

The girls - Lizzie is #1. Lizzie is going to grow up and be a fantastic soccer player. She is cute, smart, funny, motivated and determined. She also a a great 8 year old little player. Very coachable. I also dig how her mom does her bangs - does a little flip thing - so I kept looking at her hair trying to figure it out. Alex or Ace as I am supposed to call her is probably #2. Ace is Lizzie's friend. Both girls pay attention, are coachable and very bright. Ace is going to be a handful for somebody at some point however is my guess.