Do you ever get yourself in one of those situations where at first you think nothing about it and then afterwards you look back and think - that probably wasn't the wisest idea? Well that happened to me last week. I have been having problems with my back and it got so bad that a nerve pinched in my back and made it so I couldn't' walk. Even walking with crutches was excruciating. So I came into work on Friday, my boss noticed the crutches and immediately said I needed to go see his witch doctor. Not it really isn't a witch doctor - more of an energy healer. So we make the phone call and my boss tells me it is going to be $250 but he will pay for it. He whips out the money in cash and gives it to me. I go home and tell Tony about it and he immediately is not ok with it. I of course was like - but it might be someone who can help me - the optimist when it comes to my back. So because it was downtown in an office building that was closed on Saturday and I was going to be meeting with men I had never met and led in through a side door, my husband decided that he was going with. We get there and the Asian guy leads us in. It is one of those buildings set up of one and two man offices in an old old building.
So we sit down and the guy gives me a sheet of paper with 4 views of the body on it and tells me to write my name and two phone numbers to reach me on it. That was it. No paperwork, no filling out anything else. So a few minutes later this guy shows up at the door behind us and he kind of looks like a bum. It turns out he is the energy healer. So a few minutes after that we are led into a room that overlooks the building across the street. The energy healer guy walks in, the Asian guy walks in, and then two guys who I have no idea where they came from, also walked in. One was about my age - the other about 23. So here I am in a room with 4 other men aside from my husband - at this point I am very happy he is there because that is a bit of an intimidating thing. Apparently at one point he was pondering how he was going to beat everyone off with my crutches and grab me and make a run for it he felt so sketched out.
The Asian guy throughout the whole process touches me at various points on my back, while the energy healer guy presses on points on my front and then has the younger guys "hold" their fingers at certain other points on my body. At first you would think it was an acupressure type of situation, but the reality is it they weren't pressing hard enough to really do anything. At some point through this process the guy about my age goes and sits in the chair behind me and apparently starts meditating. And through it all, the energy healer would say things like - yes, yes, it is releasing. Do you feel that? And then the Asian guy would say - her breathing has changed - and the young guy would say, her pulse has changed. Or - she got taller. Now there were a couple times I thought - I think I do feel a little better, but other times I was like - I don't feel shit and I really just don't know what to say about this. So I would just nod and smile a little bit. After an hour he then adjusts my neck - which in hind sight was probably not wise since I don't even think this guy was licensed. And really - my neck has been sore ever since. So after an hour and half, he finally puts me face down on the table to address my back.
He had previously said all my problems were stemming from my feet and that I was a mess. Ok. So I am now on my stomach and that is of course not very fun. He starts shaking my low back which of course has me dying. At various points he tries to force my low back to do something or shift in place - remember - I was not going to a chiropractor - but an energy healer - so this was a bit odd for me. He then at some point started banging on my upper back with his fist so hard that Tony just about came unglued at this point. I'm actually surprised I don't have a bruise. But I was also trying not to laugh when it was happening - cause I have never had anyone beat on my back before.
In the end he had me get off the table and walk. My walking was really the same as when I came in - but of course he tried to make it seem like it was better cause I technically wasn't walking with my crutches. But I could have walked into that office without my crutches - it just would have still been painful. So the pain was about the same. At that point it was kind of like - ok I think I just want to agree with anything so I can get out of here.
So the session ends and we go with the Asian guy to schedule another appointment cause the guys said I needed to be seen again before he left in a few days (apparently he didn't live here anymore and wouldn't be back for 5 weeks). So we scheduled it for Monday and then i mention something about payment. The Asian guy tells me it will be $550. Excuse me I said. five hundred and fifty dollars? Yes he said. I was told it would be $250. No he said, my boss goes to the other guy who was on vacation and his rate was $175 an hour. The guy I saw was that guys "master teacher" and his rate was $300 an hour because the skill level was so much better. Are you for real? $300 an hour? Honestly people, for $550, I expect Jesus to come down from on high and give me a freaking miracle. And I was not feeling like a miracle had been worked. I said to the guy - well I only have $250. So he goes and talks to the energy healer and comes back and says - oh well he will take $350. I', like - well I still only have $250 - I don't have money like my boss. SO he tells me that we can do a payment plan and that it really is on the honor system - cause they only take cash. So I give him the $250 and away we go. After hours of reflection on it, my husband decided I was not going back there. He has seen too many of those first 48 shows about dumb deaths and was like - that was just not something he could handle and it was just too sketchy of a deal. My boss when he found out about the money was pretty pissed off. So we cancelled the appointment and did not go back. I am walking but not great and it is speculation on whether the energy healer really made me better or not. In the end, I am glad I have a husband that is not as trusting as I.
