Do you remember the movie Beetlejuice? And the scene where he descends into the waiting room of Hell's Purgatory? He was sitting next to the witch doctor that had the number like 4 and his number was something like 1,234,689 and the number on the screen said, "now servicing number 3". Well that was my experience yesterday at the DMV.
So one of the really cool things is that my boss bought me and Tony season tickets to the Sounders - and they are really good tickets. But one of the issues about going is - I can't really walk far without it being a chore. So we realized that walking in general and all that was only going to get worse for me over the coming months and so we figured that I might be able to get a handicap parking permit while I am pregnant due to my condition. Turns out - I can!!! So I look online and it says what to do for disabled permits and such - which I already had the paperwork for. Then I look for locations - just to check and I see that the locations are showing a zero wait time. Fantastic I think to myself. So I go home, get the paperwork and head to the DMV.
Well by the time I got there - of course there are 20 people ahead of me. So I go up to the little number ticket and choose my option for permits and out prints a number. Now if you have ever been to the DMV you know that the numbering system is completely flawed and makes no sense. They assign different series of numbers to different items and then they just jump around from teller to teller so right when you think - oh this is it, my turn. NOPE! They jump to a different number series. Then throughout this series of waiting, you see all the people take their 10 minute(smoke) break so the tellers go from 4 to 1. And of course there is always the problem cases that take 10 minutes a piece. Mix that in with the guy who is trying to do driving tests for people, and you there you have it. The clusterfuck they call the DMV.
And as you are waiting in this lobby of uncomfortable plastic chairs feeling like Beetlejuice and the never going to get to you number while the slow and completely bored workers go through their paces, they make sure to conveniently remind you of this important piece of information......... a sign on the wall that says, "Important. Threatening or intimidating a public servant is a felony!" Now I have to admit - I in no way see them as a "public servant". A public servant is one to me who does something for no pay. Not someone who is employed by the government, gets paid a decent wage with benefits and gets every federal holiday off. That doesn't sound like they are "serving me" much. And going back to my knowledge of the Constitution and instruction on my rights, the Freedom of Speech clause was enacted so that I as a member of the people had the right to say whatever I wanted against another person acting as an agent of the government. My Freedom of Speech does not allow me to necessarily say anything against a regular civilian, but an agent of the government - which is anyone who is employed by the government - it does. So how can it be a felony if I tell one of these jokers off???
Anywho that is just a side ramble as I was sitting in that room. So then I start to notice....wait a minute that joker came in AFTER me. Then it continues - 4 more people who came in after me were serviced before me. Then I take a breath and think - well there are a couple of jokers up front who were here before me and they haven't been served yet. Until I realize that the tellers then called out to those guys names and so they had been served before I even walked in and were simply waiting on paperwork. And you know it is bad when the lady next to you goes - you were here before those guys even. Then, it happens. My muber magically displays and the imaginary computer lady says, "now servicing number 531." My pregnant self gets up and waddles up to the front. I pull out my form and tell the lady I need to get a disabled permit. She looks at me in her - I have been working at the DMV for way too long stare and I don't really care about your issue and says "you're going to have to go to a vehicle licensing place, this is the driver's license office. We don't do permits here."
Are you fucking kidding me????
So the pregnant woman very calmly takes her form and walks out - meanwhile fighting back tears because I always cry at dumb crap like this. The frustration and incompetance is like just too much for me for some reason. But I was determined I was not going to cry over the DMV today. Now seriously, if I thought for a minute I had to go to the vehicle licensing place or anything on the web site said to take it to a vehicle licensing place - do you think I would have wasted my time with the DMV????
That would be a big fat no.
So I now go to the vehicle licensing place and of course there is only two people ahead of me and they are both with a teller. So then the one person leaves and the teller to the far right goes "I can help the next person with Renewals". I take one step forward as she says this and then when she says Renewals, I step right back. She looks at me with eager interest and says, "Renewals?" I shake my head no and she asks the guy behind me. He too shakes his head and so we just stand there. The lady then just continues to stand in her position while me and this other guy just wait for the other teller to finish. Was this chick on like day 2 of her job? Was she really not cross trained to do anything else other than renewals? Meanwhile we all stand there like bumps on a log. Finally a woman came in who had a renewal and she was able to assist her. The guy in front of me finally leaves and I go up to the lady and hand her my form and tell her I need a disabled permit. Of course she too looks at me all bored like but does her job and gives me the pass. And get this - I didn't even have to pay!!!!!
So after this fun 2 hour excursion away from work (glad the boss was out), I did what every other pregnant woman would have done in my situation.
I drove 100 yards to the Dairy Queen and got myself a Blizzard.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Houston we have movement!
Yesterday Baby Mort decided that I was going to start feeling his little kicks and stretches. I knew I would know the difference between baby and anything else....like gas, and I was right. I have been feeling him pretty regular ever since. I thought I would feel him higher up but actually I am feeling him pretty low. Sometimes it is a multiple of tapping flutters. Sometimes it is a single light thump. Usually I feel it more when there is a little extra pressure on my lower abdomen.
On my babycenter updates they said he should be about 3/4 of a pound now and as long as a carrot. Well he is probably about a full pound since he was 14oz at the ultrasound last Tuesday. This makes me wonder if I will be delivering early if Baby Mort has been consistently big.
Friday I bought my very first Baby Mort things. I just bought two packs of short sleeved onesies - but I wanted to have something that I bought first. Looking at these cute little onesies reminds you of just how small he will be when he is born. I probably won't be thinking that however when he is popping out of my tata though. Of course I bought the 8-12 pound baby ones instead of the newborn. Both Tony and I were over 8 pounds and Baby Mort is bigger than the average baby so that just made sense.
On my babycenter updates they said he should be about 3/4 of a pound now and as long as a carrot. Well he is probably about a full pound since he was 14oz at the ultrasound last Tuesday. This makes me wonder if I will be delivering early if Baby Mort has been consistently big.
Friday I bought my very first Baby Mort things. I just bought two packs of short sleeved onesies - but I wanted to have something that I bought first. Looking at these cute little onesies reminds you of just how small he will be when he is born. I probably won't be thinking that however when he is popping out of my tata though. Of course I bought the 8-12 pound baby ones instead of the newborn. Both Tony and I were over 8 pounds and Baby Mort is bigger than the average baby so that just made sense.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Baby Mort is a Boy!!!!
I cannot tell you how big of a relief it is that he is a boy. And the proof was definitive - we had a good shot of the tripod. Now comes the hard part....naming him, figuring out how to decorate the nursery, and of course figuring out whether or not to circumsize. That last one is a doozy.
Here are a couple sneak peaks of the little boy. Crazy to think this is growing inside me. I know I have a baby - but seeing it on the ultrasound again was a bit of a mind warp. I don't know why but I almost expected to see nothing in my belly - although it has been growing. And Mort was quite the active one during the ultrasound - at one point I was like - wasn't his head just over here on this side. The lady laughed and said yes, he is moving quite a bit. Why am I surprised. I fuly expect to have a little soccer player that will be kicking me constantly.
At least Baby Mort is a healthy baby. I guess he has long arms and legs, a nice round head and a chubby belly. They told me 84 percentile for size. Almost makes me a little nervous what he will eventually pop out at since he seems to have been a smidge bigger the whole way. But we aren't thinking about that day yet. I have a lot of days to go.
Here are a couple sneak peaks of the little boy. Crazy to think this is growing inside me. I know I have a baby - but seeing it on the ultrasound again was a bit of a mind warp. I don't know why but I almost expected to see nothing in my belly - although it has been growing. And Mort was quite the active one during the ultrasound - at one point I was like - wasn't his head just over here on this side. The lady laughed and said yes, he is moving quite a bit. Why am I surprised. I fuly expect to have a little soccer player that will be kicking me constantly.
At least Baby Mort is a healthy baby. I guess he has long arms and legs, a nice round head and a chubby belly. They told me 84 percentile for size. Almost makes me a little nervous what he will eventually pop out at since he seems to have been a smidge bigger the whole way. But we aren't thinking about that day yet. I have a lot of days to go.
Monday, April 13, 2009
I have........
a banana. LOL
Well that is what the baby center place said any way. I have a one pound banana from head to toes. We have now moved into the arena where they measure the baby from head to toes instead of head to butt. I feel like I already have a 3 pound banana in there though. And Baby Mort has been stretching me quite a bit this past week. And if it weren't for the ultrasound confirming otherwise - I would swear I am having twins.
We find out tomorrow exactly "what" Baby Mort really is - aside from being the size of a banana that is. :) Waiting month to month to hear the heartbeat is a bit grueling at times. Mainly because I STILL do NOT feel ANYTHING!!!!!! I know Baby Mort is growing though cause my stomach is getting so big. So I at least feel confident that it is alright. I will tell you however, I am so glad to be finding out tomorrow so I can just start telling people what Baby Mort is and instead of listening to everyone in their mother guess at what it is. Really - I know it sounds weird, but it is sort of making my head spin. All these wives tales of what it is and why it is what it is....blah blah blah. Everyone has an opinion, the Chinese Conception calendar can't even get on the same page with itself and I have no clue whatsoever.
Well that is what the baby center place said any way. I have a one pound banana from head to toes. We have now moved into the arena where they measure the baby from head to toes instead of head to butt. I feel like I already have a 3 pound banana in there though. And Baby Mort has been stretching me quite a bit this past week. And if it weren't for the ultrasound confirming otherwise - I would swear I am having twins.
We find out tomorrow exactly "what" Baby Mort really is - aside from being the size of a banana that is. :) Waiting month to month to hear the heartbeat is a bit grueling at times. Mainly because I STILL do NOT feel ANYTHING!!!!!! I know Baby Mort is growing though cause my stomach is getting so big. So I at least feel confident that it is alright. I will tell you however, I am so glad to be finding out tomorrow so I can just start telling people what Baby Mort is and instead of listening to everyone in their mother guess at what it is. Really - I know it sounds weird, but it is sort of making my head spin. All these wives tales of what it is and why it is what it is....blah blah blah. Everyone has an opinion, the Chinese Conception calendar can't even get on the same page with itself and I have no clue whatsoever.
Thursday, April 09, 2009
Soccer 101
Saw this in the Seattle Times and thought I would post it for you non-soccer die hards. All of it is accurate with the exception of the Cautions - you can get cautions for more than a fould....like for Dissent. Mouting off to the referee and telling him how full of crap he is at a certain call he made - that will get you booked too. But overall it is a good recap.
Soccer 101: Everything a new Sounders FC fan needs to know
By José Miguel Romero - Seattle Times staff reporter
A whole new breed of Seattle fan is filling the seats at Qwest Field for Sounders FC matches. Sounders FC soccer is the hottest team and the hottest ticket in Seattle, its first three home games sold out.
You want to be there to see just what the buzz is all about. You want to bask in the crowd at Qwest Field. You want to get tickets to this show on turf and shake a scarf, soccer's version of a rally towel or pompom.
Except there's one problem — you're new to the game, and your soccer knowledge goes no further then two nets, a ball and two teams kicking it back and forth until one team manages to score a goal.
Fear not, wannabe Seattle soccer enthusiast. This primer gives you enough basic knowledge of the game to feel like you can hang with the many knowledgeable fans sitting around you at Qwest Field. And we won't forget you, either, season-ticket holder and/or hoarse-voiced member of one of the supporters groups who loves Sounders FC and another club team in Europe with a passion. You have a place in this Soccer 101 course, too.
"Just engulf yourself in the beauty of the game," Sounders FC defender James Riley said when asked what advice he'd give to those new to the sport. "The game's very dynamic. There's no set plays. A lot of things happen on the fly.
"It's almost kind of like real life. You never know what's going to happen."
Five questions and answers for a new fan:
1. What does "F.C." stand for?
"Football Club." It's a nod to the European influence on the sport — top clubs in England, for example, use FC at the end of their names.
2. What's the most common question players get about the rules of soccer?
"What is offside?" Offside is called by an official when a player on the offensive does not have either the ball or two defensive players between him or her and the goal. It nullifies a lot of scoring chances and is sometimes a very close call.
3. Why does the game clock stop at 45 minutes and 90 minutes, even though the game is still going on?
The referee is the official timekeeper of the match, and can allow extra time (also called stoppage time or injury time) to the end of both halves if he or she feels it is warranted. So the game continues until the referee blows the final set of whistles that ends the half or game.
4. Why does the game end, even if the score is tied?
A winner does not need to be produced in a regular-season game. Ties, or draws, count in the regular-season standings, so if a team's record is 2-2-1, it has two wins, two losses and a tie. The draw is worth one point (three for a win, zero for a loss) and in MLS, playoff berths are determined by points in the final regular-season standings. Therefore, Sounders FC's nine points (three wins) is very important.
5. Why all the nonstop chanting and singing from the crowd?
That's how fans around the world show support for their team. No artificial sound effects, just natural, creative, original noise.
Five "Did You Knows?" for the avid fan:
• Did you know ... that Sounders FC defender Tyrone Marshall has the names of his four kids (Derby, Morgan, Marley and Kingston) tattooed near both shoulders and that he touches the tattoos and crosses himself every time he takes the pitch for a game?
• Did you know ... that midfielder Freddie Ljungberg puts his right shoe on first before a game? And that midfielder Steve Zakuani always listens to English rap and R&B before games?
• Did you know ... that coach Sigi Schmid has brought his scarf-wearing tradition over from his former team, the Columbus Crew? Schmid donned a scarf as a good-luck charm for every game, no matter the weather, as the Crew went on to win the MLS championship. He's worn a Sounders FC scarf of some type for every game. "That's something that really wasn't planned and something that sort of happened and evolved," Schmid said.
• Did you know ... that goalkeeper Kasey Keller doesn't have any pregame superstitions, preferring to follow the same routine before every match? "Repetition more than superstition," he said.
• Did you know ... the three officials on the field are able to communicate with one another with an earpiece and a receiver with an activation button attached to their sides? The head referee and the two assistant referees, who are the people on the sidelines with the out-of-bounds flags, use the communications devices for game purposes only.
Glossary
A glossary of soccer terms to impress your neighbor and help you can hang with the hardcores (some information taken from the "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Soccer"):
4-1-3-2: The player formation that Sounders FC has used to start games. The numbers refer to defenders, midfielders and forwards on the field from back to front, not including the goalkeeper. Seattle has used the following lineup in front of goalkeeper Kasey Keller — James Riley, Jhon Kennedy Hurtado, Tyrone Marshall and Zach Scott as defenders, Osvaldo Alonso as the defensive center midfielder in front of the defense, Steve Zakuani, Brad Evans and Sebastien LeToux as midfielders and Fredy Montero and Nate Jaqua at forward.
Corner kick: The reward for a ball that is knocked over the end (goal) line by the defense, which allows the attacking team an opportunity to place the ball in a corner near the opposing goal and kick it back into play. Some of the best goals come off corner kicks, as a high-arcing ball can be headed into the goal or some kind of chaos could ensue in front of the goal, with the ball finding its way in.
Throw-in: When the ball goes out of bounds along the sideline, the team that did not cause it to go out of bounds gets to inbound the ball with a two-handed toss from where it went out.
Penalties (penalty kicks): Free, non-defended kicks on goal that pit a shooter against the opposing goalkeeper, one-on-one, from a specifically marked spot in front of the goal. These are either the result of a foul in the goal box or used to determine the winning team of a match when one is required.
Center or cross: A pass from a player on the wings toward the middle intended for a teammate, usually in front of the goal.
Caution: A yellow-card warning issued to a player by the referee for a particularly hard foul. If another yellow card is issued, it results in a red card and the player is ejected. In MLS, once a player picks up his fifth yellow card, he is suspended one game, regardless of why or how the caution was given. At the eighth yellow card, another suspension, and at card No. 11, a third game. However, if a player goes three games without receiving a caution, he can have one of his previous cautions wiped away, but only once a season.
Own goal: When a defender knocks the ball into his own team's goal accidentally. It counts as a goal for the other team.
Tackle: To slide and steal the ball from an attacking player.
Nutmeg: Putting the ball through another player's legs.
Penalty box: 18-yard area in front of the goal within which a goalkeeper can use his hands to touch the ball. A foul here against an attacking player results in a penalty kick.
Foul: Contact ruled hard enough by the referee to award the ball to the team that was fouled.
Clean sheet: Soccer's version of a shutout, e.g, Kasey Keller has three clean sheets this season.
Copyright © 2009 The Seattle Times Company
Soccer 101: Everything a new Sounders FC fan needs to know
By José Miguel Romero - Seattle Times staff reporter
A whole new breed of Seattle fan is filling the seats at Qwest Field for Sounders FC matches. Sounders FC soccer is the hottest team and the hottest ticket in Seattle, its first three home games sold out.
You want to be there to see just what the buzz is all about. You want to bask in the crowd at Qwest Field. You want to get tickets to this show on turf and shake a scarf, soccer's version of a rally towel or pompom.
Except there's one problem — you're new to the game, and your soccer knowledge goes no further then two nets, a ball and two teams kicking it back and forth until one team manages to score a goal.
Fear not, wannabe Seattle soccer enthusiast. This primer gives you enough basic knowledge of the game to feel like you can hang with the many knowledgeable fans sitting around you at Qwest Field. And we won't forget you, either, season-ticket holder and/or hoarse-voiced member of one of the supporters groups who loves Sounders FC and another club team in Europe with a passion. You have a place in this Soccer 101 course, too.
"Just engulf yourself in the beauty of the game," Sounders FC defender James Riley said when asked what advice he'd give to those new to the sport. "The game's very dynamic. There's no set plays. A lot of things happen on the fly.
"It's almost kind of like real life. You never know what's going to happen."
Five questions and answers for a new fan:
1. What does "F.C." stand for?
"Football Club." It's a nod to the European influence on the sport — top clubs in England, for example, use FC at the end of their names.
2. What's the most common question players get about the rules of soccer?
"What is offside?" Offside is called by an official when a player on the offensive does not have either the ball or two defensive players between him or her and the goal. It nullifies a lot of scoring chances and is sometimes a very close call.
3. Why does the game clock stop at 45 minutes and 90 minutes, even though the game is still going on?
The referee is the official timekeeper of the match, and can allow extra time (also called stoppage time or injury time) to the end of both halves if he or she feels it is warranted. So the game continues until the referee blows the final set of whistles that ends the half or game.
4. Why does the game end, even if the score is tied?
A winner does not need to be produced in a regular-season game. Ties, or draws, count in the regular-season standings, so if a team's record is 2-2-1, it has two wins, two losses and a tie. The draw is worth one point (three for a win, zero for a loss) and in MLS, playoff berths are determined by points in the final regular-season standings. Therefore, Sounders FC's nine points (three wins) is very important.
5. Why all the nonstop chanting and singing from the crowd?
That's how fans around the world show support for their team. No artificial sound effects, just natural, creative, original noise.
Five "Did You Knows?" for the avid fan:
• Did you know ... that Sounders FC defender Tyrone Marshall has the names of his four kids (Derby, Morgan, Marley and Kingston) tattooed near both shoulders and that he touches the tattoos and crosses himself every time he takes the pitch for a game?
• Did you know ... that midfielder Freddie Ljungberg puts his right shoe on first before a game? And that midfielder Steve Zakuani always listens to English rap and R&B before games?
• Did you know ... that coach Sigi Schmid has brought his scarf-wearing tradition over from his former team, the Columbus Crew? Schmid donned a scarf as a good-luck charm for every game, no matter the weather, as the Crew went on to win the MLS championship. He's worn a Sounders FC scarf of some type for every game. "That's something that really wasn't planned and something that sort of happened and evolved," Schmid said.
• Did you know ... that goalkeeper Kasey Keller doesn't have any pregame superstitions, preferring to follow the same routine before every match? "Repetition more than superstition," he said.
• Did you know ... the three officials on the field are able to communicate with one another with an earpiece and a receiver with an activation button attached to their sides? The head referee and the two assistant referees, who are the people on the sidelines with the out-of-bounds flags, use the communications devices for game purposes only.
Glossary
A glossary of soccer terms to impress your neighbor and help you can hang with the hardcores (some information taken from the "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Soccer"):
4-1-3-2: The player formation that Sounders FC has used to start games. The numbers refer to defenders, midfielders and forwards on the field from back to front, not including the goalkeeper. Seattle has used the following lineup in front of goalkeeper Kasey Keller — James Riley, Jhon Kennedy Hurtado, Tyrone Marshall and Zach Scott as defenders, Osvaldo Alonso as the defensive center midfielder in front of the defense, Steve Zakuani, Brad Evans and Sebastien LeToux as midfielders and Fredy Montero and Nate Jaqua at forward.
Corner kick: The reward for a ball that is knocked over the end (goal) line by the defense, which allows the attacking team an opportunity to place the ball in a corner near the opposing goal and kick it back into play. Some of the best goals come off corner kicks, as a high-arcing ball can be headed into the goal or some kind of chaos could ensue in front of the goal, with the ball finding its way in.
Throw-in: When the ball goes out of bounds along the sideline, the team that did not cause it to go out of bounds gets to inbound the ball with a two-handed toss from where it went out.
Penalties (penalty kicks): Free, non-defended kicks on goal that pit a shooter against the opposing goalkeeper, one-on-one, from a specifically marked spot in front of the goal. These are either the result of a foul in the goal box or used to determine the winning team of a match when one is required.
Center or cross: A pass from a player on the wings toward the middle intended for a teammate, usually in front of the goal.
Caution: A yellow-card warning issued to a player by the referee for a particularly hard foul. If another yellow card is issued, it results in a red card and the player is ejected. In MLS, once a player picks up his fifth yellow card, he is suspended one game, regardless of why or how the caution was given. At the eighth yellow card, another suspension, and at card No. 11, a third game. However, if a player goes three games without receiving a caution, he can have one of his previous cautions wiped away, but only once a season.
Own goal: When a defender knocks the ball into his own team's goal accidentally. It counts as a goal for the other team.
Tackle: To slide and steal the ball from an attacking player.
Nutmeg: Putting the ball through another player's legs.
Penalty box: 18-yard area in front of the goal within which a goalkeeper can use his hands to touch the ball. A foul here against an attacking player results in a penalty kick.
Foul: Contact ruled hard enough by the referee to award the ball to the team that was fouled.
Clean sheet: Soccer's version of a shutout, e.g, Kasey Keller has three clean sheets this season.
Copyright © 2009 The Seattle Times Company
Tuesday, April 07, 2009
Baby Mort
Man - that little baby ticker up there makes me happy on some days and sad on others. Happy when I feel progress that we are finally getting to the back half of this process and sad when I realize how much more I got to go. And anyone who enjoys being pregnant needs to be checked into a mental facility for evaluation. Anywho I thought I would post the first picture of me and Baby Mort. Not bad photography for an iPhone and an arm's length away that I couldn't even see eh?
5 months next week and we find out just exactly what Baby Mort will be. Girl? Boy? Don't even have a guess. I want a boy but always felt being a 4th generation first born female that the female was going to win out in that department. I guess we will just have to see which one of Tony's swimmer's made it there first. He initially felt it would be a girl but has been thinking about a boy more lately. We felt boy off the initial ultrasound, but I guess we shall see how good our guessing is soon enough.
Oh and no, I have not felt anything. :( But I am growing so I know it is still progressing.
5 months next week and we find out just exactly what Baby Mort will be. Girl? Boy? Don't even have a guess. I want a boy but always felt being a 4th generation first born female that the female was going to win out in that department. I guess we will just have to see which one of Tony's swimmer's made it there first. He initially felt it would be a girl but has been thinking about a boy more lately. We felt boy off the initial ultrasound, but I guess we shall see how good our guessing is soon enough.
Oh and no, I have not felt anything. :( But I am growing so I know it is still progressing.
Monday, April 06, 2009
No Pressure No Problem.....Intimidation
Ever wondered what it was like to go to a third world country wearing the jersey of your national team, competing in a World Cup Qualifying match where there is only 100 people on your side and 40,000 that hate you? Hoping the crowd doesn't decide to rush the field? Notice the big metal chain link fence around the crowd....Our boys came back from being down by two to tie it up in the last 15 minutes on the road in El Salvador.
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