I have now entered the remaining 3 weeks before the wedding. But really - two weeks before I leave for the wedding! I am so glad I have done so much up to this point. Really I have some fianlizign to do but it is all coming together. I think I have one more set of things to purchase - but i can do that today. Actually I probably SHOULD do that today!!!
People keep asking - are you excited? no not yet. I will be excited though when I get in my car with Tony and drive away from here! :) At that point I can leave the whatever job behind. At that point the only possible thing left to do for the wedding might be the actual play by play bit - but I will have about 24 hours in a car to figure that out. LOL The wedding thing will become more of a reality than it has been too! And I will get to know I am on vacation - ok well it isn't really a vacation more like a work timeout but you get my drift. And I am really excited for the events of Saturday. I am excited to see my friends and family. I am excited to have a party. I love parties! I LOVE surprises! I love good food. And I get to have a girls night out - have only had a few of those since living in Washington. I know that once the Saturday begins - I should be having a good time and excited for the upcoming events.
However, the job thing has yet to really materialize so here I am dealing with some stress. I'm in a 'business as usal mode' while everyone else is in a 'holding pattern but good opportunities coming their way' mode. It's a little frustrating. We arne't doing any marketing - yet we are supposed to cross our little piggies and hope for an investor to come in and save the day.
There are a couple other little drama points - we won't bother with those here but as a result - I am SOOOOOOOOOOOO tired at night and yet I just can't fall asleep. My brain just won't shut off even though it is telling me - JUST PASS OUT WOMAN!!!!
I keep thinking of the job thing, I think of Tony's dying aunt, I think of the wedding, I think about our soccer team, I think about how I really don't like that stupid job and how can I get CSS off the ground faster. Then I think about my back hurting. Then fluffy bunny jumps on the bed and starts kneading me.
I drink Chai Tea Lattes now faithfully in the morning. Even now I want to go back home for a nap!Hmmmm, my boss is out of the office............
SO here I am - no matter if I have played soccer that night - actually makes my sleeping worse - I find myself up for hours after I play. I'm tired, trying to be cheerful and positive and push through the walls that I find are sort of growing up around me. I feel like I have this uphill battle that I know if I can just get to the top fo the rock - I can see the beautiful valleys and voila - I will be good to go. But until then, it is uphill. I've only cried once through this whole job thing which is good - and sort of unlike me.
I guess I am just determined through all this....I'm not going to let the b@stards get me down. I will persevere. I am strong, I can conquer all. Ok well that was the lack of sleep talking.
Until then I'm going to read about Drew Barrymore in my People.
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