Status Check:

Still Incubating. 5 days left until they induce me. I feel like my body has been playing tricks on me for days now.

So with 5 days left until I am officially a mom, here are my thoughts on a few things.

Thoughts That Were Validated During Pregnancy

My body was not meant to make and carry babies.

I did not enjoy being pregnant. I remember a woman once telling me she hated being pregnant. At the time I thought - wow - someone who was actually honest. Well I can honestly tell you - I did not enjoy being pregnant at all. I will be very glad to have my little bundle once he is here - but no, I did not enjoy this and am not looking to repeat the experience. One and done.

Surrogates are angels in my opinion, but l think they must be a little off in the head.

I still really do not like needles. And I really did not like feeling like a human pin cushion.

That Tony and I’s approach to my pregnancy and diligence with the plan worked out to our favor.

I really did marry a loyal, loving, supportive and dedicated man.


Things That Were Discovered

I don’t want to live the rest of my life without cereal. Or Jamba Juice.

Diabetes to any degree is a big deal - especially when you factor in the psychological perspective of having your options taken away from you.

Making a 7 month pregnant woman fast for 12 hours and have 4 vials of blood removed over time is a cruel thing to do to a person.

You can never underestimate the ability for milk or yogurt to quell heartburn.

You can never value enough the ability to have use of a thumb in order to use a tool.

Not all pregnant women experience what you did. Be careful what you share for fear of embarrassment.

That whole “you can eat what you want during pregnancy” - total myth. Just ask every gestational diabetic.

That my circle of family and friends while in many ways is quite small, seemed very large at times I needed it.

There still really are witch doctors - they just have a business license these days and wear khakis.


Silver Linings

Although only discovered at the local Walgreens a week from delivering, Lipton’s Diet Green Tea with Citrus may have just shot to a top three favorite drink of mine. And only because of the diabetes, did I even try it.

Splenda actually dissolves better than sugar in iced tea and so I probably will continue to use it when ordering out.

My back being in complete lockdown mode meant that no nerves were getting pinched - past month 5 that is.

My facial skin has been virtually acne free and it is the one thing that has made me feel good about my body changes.

The diabetes meant I had to have non-stress tests which meant I got to hear Baby Mort's heart activity twice a week for the last few months.

I haven’t bled out of my tata for MONTHS!!!

I haven’t had to worry about birth control.

Soon I will get to start taking the miracle drug for my back. Of course it is one of those prescriptions that they advertise on TV where all the side effects don’t sound pleasant...


Things That Bewilder Me

That the human body can defy the laws of gravity and physics for 10 solid months with no rest.

How is it that natural things like orange juice and milk can be worse for you than taking a pill?

How a diet soda can be better for you than milk?


Pre Labor Thoughts on Labor and Birthing

I’m not scared. My whole life the idea of actually birthing a child was horrifying to me. And the closer I get to labor, the less scared I become and the more determined I feel to get this over with. That it is one day in my life. And the pain is not due to an injury. I want my body back. Or at least some degree of it. I want to feel a semblance of ok.

I just don’t know how I feel about that epidural though. I remember my dad saying to me when I was about 15 or so - you can either have 5 minutes of pain or 24 hours - which do you want? And I remember thinking - the needle. Give me the needle. But that was before dealing with all of the back pain I have had. And to think there is chance that I could have a third pain as a result of the epidural - its almost too much for me to handle - especially when I think of billions of women that haven’t had the opportunity to have one. However, I fully realize that I may just become the world’s biggest baby during labor and have another change of mind.

I guess we will find out in 5 days or less....