The World According to Bug

I love the things he says these days. Some are funny little stories about what things do. Some are a mixture of two concepts ......scooping the snow and hosing off the rocky mountains, when he's talking about daddy's snow shovel and wanting to go through the car wash.

How he'll yell at the tv.....get up little Viking, get up at his cartoon Viking that fell down........and I realize he's mimicking me like when I yell at a professional soccer player on tv that took a dive.

He can tell you all about the trash trucks, and always wants to know where they went.

He will grab my iPhone, swipe it open, then hold it to his head and say, I emailing and texting.

I love how he now occasionally yells out ..... MOOOOOM! Like a teenager trying to figure out where his favorite shirt is.

There is no "bedtime", he's just taking a nap. That cuddles buys him extra awake time before said "nap." and that every night he believes might be the night I read one more book, or the same one....again, sing one more song, or come lay in bed with him.

And to hear him say, how was your day mommy? Good?

Melts my heart.....

It's all in the nuances

It's amazing to me the little things. Especially when i don't see him for several days at a time. It might be how he now tilts his head, has a little more control over his facial muscles for slight changes in expression. The fact that he can tell you not just that he is holding an elephant in his hand, but will point and name the trunk, the head, the back, the legs.

His stories are getting longer and have more details. And he is always making me laugh. Sometimes because of how he says something and I realize he got that inflection from me. Especially when you repeat something back to him in a question and he says...yeah. His insistence on helping is growing but he knows he can't grab everything or else mommy gets frustrated......cause he inadvertently spills stuff. But I let him watch and help out when he can and he loves that.

His memory retention almost freaks me out at times. He's so observant about things he sees he has me scrambling the line of sight to see what he saw - cause i know he saw it.

And while he is only 2 and a half - wow - the things I can articulate to him and his comprehension of it, blows me away. At the same time. I love it. It is teaching me not to take my son's intelligence or ability to understand for granted. To not treat him like a concept is beneath him, simply figure out how to explain the concept in a way he can understand. I love that I can rationalize with him. I can give him choices and let him choose. Although we are working on that - you don't always get a choice and this is one of those times. LOL I find it funny that I have him queued up on "let's have a talk." And we do. He comes and sits with me, I am calm, and then I explain whatever it is. Ask him a question in there, make him look at me. It's a very personal moment. A moment I know he has to pay attention. A moment that for me will always be built on. I know that I am creating the foundation to always "have a talk" with him. And that he knows when it is said that it will be calm. Might be a heavy conversation, but one where a discussion will be had and clarification will be stated.

I love that he is emerging from some of the commonalities of babies and into his own little being. And that I am getting to identify what those are. He likes Cars from Disney - but because of Mater not McQueen. LOL So off I go to find all sorts of Mater based stuff. He loves fresh blueberries and blueberry flavor, but not blueberry yogurt - cause of the pieces. He loves it when I make smoothies for him and it is almost a nightly occurrence now. He always wants ice in his sippy cup. He eats with his hands cause he wants to but he hates having his hands dirty so we go through multiple paper towels. He still loves to play with my pots and pans. And he cooks in the kitchen at school too. I thought he might be over this phase - but it does not appear to be the case. Oh well. He will be in the kitchen with me for years to come anyway. He hates tomatoes but loves ketchup and pasta sauce sans tomato chunks. He even knows where a hidden tomato is and refuses to eat it. He's into trucks and trains and building things, but not really into dinosaurs or robots. At least not yet. I love that he can sing Bob Marley, his ABC's, some nursery songs and a few others. And I am way happy not to have bought any of those annoying little kid songs.

He has a sweet and sensitive side to him. He uses manners and really except when he is wound up from rough housing, he is very well behaved and sweet. Sometimes he will softly pet my face and whisper - I pet mommy's face...with a smile. Or you might get a hug and kiss without prompting because he wants to give you one. He will give his own buddies kisses too. And when a kid at school pushes him - he looks at the kid quizically like, why did you do that?

There is a sweet innocence to him still. And while I know someday that will go away - i hope it isn't for awhile yet.

Boys Do What Late?

The past two years has shown me that this is a completely bogus line. I think children in general will have their timeline of doing things - independent of gender. Some girls will delay, boys will delay, some delays are minor, and that all seems normal with the progression of a human. But this boys do developmental things late - complete bunk with my kid. He has only ever done one thing late. Talked - and that was because we catered to his every need, anticipating them instead of forcing the issue. Everything else is either ahead of schedule or on track.

So that expression kind of pisses me off. It's like a stigma that everyone buys into and then becomes a tag line.......oh well boys do things later. Ok, well if they do, then apparently my kid is einstein. But I don't know how much I buy into that theory. I think a lot of circumstances go in to why one child may do something on a different time schedule. And my kid has the only child syndrome. There is no other distraction. The schedule is built around him and for his comfort. So there isn't a million errands to run that would impede things like potty training.

What I have found is that if I catch Logan at the moment of cognition - then I can easily transition him into the next phase. Weaning off a bottle and onto a cup - no problem. No pacifier - no problem. Potty training - no problem. And then there is just a boatload of other things we have done to make certain situations not be a problem. All in all, he is a great little boy. Way proud momma. And I'm not going to buy into those boy myths anymore.....

The Raddest Little Bug on The Planet

Of course every mother has bias for her child. I am no different. He is the most amazing little dude I know. And part of this is probably do to my complete amazement at his intellect and also, my complete lack of understanding of child development no matter how much I read up on it. What really is probably surprising me the most is, I feel like he is smarter than a lot of 14 year old boys I have had the displeasure of knowing. Which begs the question - when they hit puberty, does something happen to reverse the brain capacity and knowledge learned up to that point? Cause I have to say, if Logan's learning capacity stays on track, he should be accepted to Harvard by the time he is 16. I've got severe problems on how I am supposed to handle this highly intelligent individual. He will push me to the limit nonetheless.

Barely past the age of two and he is already showing empathy. On several occasions to his friends at school. That is supposed to be an age 3 thing. He knows his colors. Can count to five - and to some degree 7 or even 9. And darn near knows the days of the week. And I am not even talking about what he knows in spanish. His memory is starting to freak me out a little bit - he can easily remember something that happened a week ago. He has popped off the next lines in a book (several different books actually) when relevant - especially on a few that had only been read about 10-15 times to him. He has the eyesight of a hawk and the hearing of a bat. There have been things he has seen that it has taken me moments of really searching to find it. And he can spot the moon in the day, or even against street lights. Animals? No problem. The sounds they make? No problem. And he will say any word no matter how complex. Hippopotomus - ippomatamus......brontosaurus.........bontosaurs......triceraptops.....ticeratops.......incognito.......ignito....

Unbelievable what he is capable of. Not to mention......Gogan Funny......he is extremely coordinated as well. Gogan do it....as he says....ok Gogan, go for it buddy. Show mommy what you got.

The why birdie has begun, and of course - he has opinions. LOL And for the most part - I love that he has opinions. I finally get to have a baseline on what he wants. He won't always get to exercise his opinion, but at least I can understand where the little bug wants to go with some things. my biggest frustration is when I just get a no.......or Logan don't want it....as in the case of choosing costumes for Halloween. Well can't you want at least ONE thing Logan????

So here he is at the age of two. Two years old and I already feel like he is a genius. What oh what is three going to bring? I can't even imagine 4 or 5 right now.

But, the ultimate competitor I am - I am up to the challenge on the mommy front - so bring it my little man. Bring your best game. I have the leg up on you know you. I know you are going to challenge me consistently. So I have an advantage in the preparation department. My mother once told me she constantly was having to bluff me - I see that at some point in the near future. Luckily that day is a far time away. But for now, I at a minimum have experience on my side. And I look forward to all the days in the future where you will challenge me to be the best, do the best, and guide you correctly.

Just Keeping Him Alive

I can say I'm now clearly understanding the depth of the term paranoia. Being a mother or a parent really is fraught with a million scenarios of "oh shit" or "what if...." that have you bathing in a panic mode. My brother once told me a few years ago that you'll spend the first few years just trying to keep them alive. At the time I had a little laugh and nodded my head in understanding, although it wasn't until I went through a few of these cycles myself that I trully understood the nuances of that statement. And as I go through my phase of trying to make sure i keep this alien alive, I am amazed that more kids don't die due to neglectful parents and even highly attentive parents succumbed to that split second oh shit factor.

I look around and it seems like everything is a hazard of some sort. The moment I have to go to the bathroom, and that smart creature I spawned decides to grab the stool, and go to the counter, climb on it and I will find him playing with knives...or worse that he falls off said counter and falls on the knife stabbing himself. Luckily, this situation has not happened......yet. But I still think of these things like - it could. It might. The more probable is him falling off the dinner chair and onto his fork - because he was wiggling and wobbling on the edge, lost his balance and then the fork just happens to stay in said hand as he falls on top. Hasn't happend yet either - but I think of these things. As I have the moment of the calm yet watchful eye, don't let your fear grip you Athena, you can't play to the one off percentage. I don't like being paranoid, and yet I feel like not being paranoid is what will bitch slap me back to that nasty thing called reality in the event it happens.

The other morning I was dreaming, fully in REM. And then my dream stirred. Pulling me from my unconscious state, I sat up. Something seemed off. Eery. Did I hear something? I felt a presence in my space. As I stared in the dark at 4:20AM, my sense perking, using the muted light from the other room to try and focus my perspective, I heard another slight sound. Scanning the dark room, there it was. The little head at the foot of the bed. My son was awake - very unusual. My son never wakes up this early. In those moments I find the innate subconscious connection between me and my son to be amazing. That's really the only word I know to use to describe it. He can cough through a wall, and I will wake up. Moments I've had where I think - I should just go check on him. A niggling sense of - I don't know why, I just should. Only to find him with a blanket over his face.

I know as he grows, the little things will fade away on the keeping him alive bit, and instead will be replaced with less abundance of these moments, but most likely more severe instances - the friends angle and the decisions that are made. The lack of self thought in moments you either hoped he would think, or know someone else should have but didn't. In this moment, he is constanly with someone who has a watchful eye, but those days where he won't be are coming. All I can do is take a breath. And hope I can navigate this labryinth of life with him as best I can.

Until then, I just make it my goal to be faster than him. Physically cause he his starting to run. And I find myself wondering if maybe I shouldn't have taken those Fish Oil pills during pregnancy - cause clearly it helped the spawn's intelligence earlier than I was counting on. Although I have heard once puberty hits, there appears to be some regression in brain processing. I'm wondering if that will be a blessing in disguise? Cause at almost 2 - I can't imagine what mental strategy I am going to have to employ by the time he is 16. My mother used to tell me she always had to think 2 steps ahead of me and was constantly bluffing me, waiting for me to call her bluff. Well, I better start brushing up on my chess - cause this little boy is going to give me the largest mental challenge I have ever had. He is already showing the determination and resolve I have. I'm in for a real treat. Thank goodness i have experience on my side. I'm going to need it.

Baby Bidet

Baby Bidet? Is probably what you are thinking. Yes, that's what I call it.

We have taken the approach in parenting to really try and make all of us get along as much as we possibly can without yelling at each other and inducing tears as a result. I know that is a lofty idea - but at least we have a goal and are constantly trying to improve upon it. So of the 4 things that really makes my baby cry, one of them is the fight him and i have over dirty diapers. His main woe is me wiping the sticky poo that just doesn't want to leave his perfectly soft little skin. And so then we get "kicking like a mule baby" at a dirty diaper change.......and for those who know me, I am sure you can just imagine how pissed off and impatient I am with this. I tried to be patient, I tried to be nice and sweet.......and then finally I just said - screw it and got physical and came one step away from hog tying him. It was at this point of pinning him down and giving him the death look of I will eat my young, that I realized I was losing the plot. Not just the in today plot, but I was also looking at an entire year of this before potty training and him getting even stronger and I foresaw visions of him having some weird poop fetish or phobia as an adult, induced by this problem with his mother. Very Freudian I know. But really, no one was happy about this and I absolutely do not want to be the cause of a problem like that. So after talking it through, T suggested that maybe we bidet him.

Realizing that the overwhelming majority of all poops were falling to me due to timing and schedules, I realized that this would be on my hands to do. So I did what I always do when assessing a situation. I immediately come up with all ways to poo poo it within 30 seconds. And realized there was only one solution if we did it --> the second kitchen sink. Did you do it too? Wrinkle up your nose when I said that? I did. So with that came the compromise that my husband was to adhere to. if we were going to baby bidet him in the second sink - it was now going to become an unusable sink until he was potty trained. Thus flooded my head with the Hazmat jackets and noises as I was telling him this. It was my condition. I just couldn't handle having dirty dishes in a sink where my son was having his butt rinsed off in of feces.

As I did it for the first time, I thought - I can't believe I am doing this. As I did it for the second time, I thought - I can't believe how good he is being while I do this. As I did it the third time, I realized - wow. Logan and I just have had 3 poopy diapers, have done the bidet each time - and there were no yelling, crying, tears, anger or frustration. As I did it the 4th time and had to literally get my hand in there to scrape or rub the poo off - oh yes, yes I did. You are imagining it right now aren't you? Me putting my hand on a poopy butt to wipe off the poo. Enjoy it - I will never do it for you. :) But I can now add this to the category of things I will do for peace with my son. Not since girl scouts and having to clean out the bathrooms at Ber Juan park have I been quite so disgusted with the poop concept. And that incident is also why I never continued in girl scouts - cleaning out toilets as an 8 year old - see ya! However, I have no problem cleaning my own toilet, and I will confess that at camps as a kid when I had to pick a duty - I did the toilets. Because they were faster and easier than anything else. LOL

More interesting on the baby bidet is that Logan has seen some of his poop specks washing down the drain. And having now gone down this route - this is what I can tell you. I have never seen an actual bidet in person, which means I have only seen them on TV and never personally experienced one. However, I can confirm for you that the trickle bidet's like in Crocodile Dundee - that won't get poop off. Maybe if there is a power hose setting?? Maybe it would be better as an adult because well - I didn't hang out in the diaper then fall on my butt therefore smashing poop across several inches. I just don't know.

But I do know - that I love my son, and I have found a solution that allows everyone to benefit, even if I don't really enjoy it much.

World Cup Ramblings

Well I can honestly say - I really did not think that Italy and England both would have two draws under their belt going into the third match. And really - I don't even think the bookies thought so either. And who would have thought a Portugal team who fielded a group I only know like 2 players would go on to ROUTE North Korea - which I am extremely happy about.

Then there is the referee issue. Unfortunately I felt from the start of the tournmanet that the referees were doing a good job. And then all of a sudden - it went dowhill. However, I think it is atrocious how officials have been decided for the world cup. How does a referee from a third world country with no quality league experience beat out officials from say......oh maybe the US (there are no US officials at the WC) with a second tier professional league to officiate in a match? That makes no sense. If the teams and players are expected to qualify - then it should not just be a physical test to pass and then a - well let's give someone a chance kind of thing. Millions of dollars are on the line. People's jobs are on the line. This isn't a charity tournament. But what do you expect with a guy like Sepp Blatter in chage of FIFA.......

The French - they are imploding! And I love it! I had them as the choke team of the tournament. SO to recap for you:

1. Scandal ties 3 players to underage teenage hooker a month or two before the tournament.
2. Coach benches Thierry Henry in favor of who again? Don't even remember the guy's name. Causes rift between team and coach.
3. Anelka refuses to play with said player during the match by not passing him the ball.
4. Anelka gets into profanity tirade with coach after match. Later is told to apologize - he refuses.
5. Someone from inside the team circle (my bet is on the trainer) leaks to the media the tirade.
6. Anelka is dismissed from the team.
7. Captain Patrice Evra has words with the coach the next day and then confronts the trainer about????????? Hmmmmmm my guess is he was the leak.
8. Trainer freaks out - there is video of it - on Evra (Evra was calm the whole time) and the trainer quits - throwing his badge on the way off the grounds.
9. French team gets back on bus and refuses to train in support of Anelka.
10. Team president or some other title from the federation decides he has had enough of the circus and HE quits!

And so here we are - one day away from France's last game of the tournament where they could bomb out. Will be an interesting day tomorrow.

What a Day!

Wow! As the US comes off their second draw at the World Cup, England does the same, setting up for a very interesting match up next week for all teams in the group with anyone able to advance. As to how I feel about the controversial call - I'm pissed of course. But really, the boys should have gotten it done on their own merits and one of the things that I am really torked about is something that I have long been frustrated with in this sport. The fact that a soccer official doesn't have to explain a call or justify a call to anyone (except an assessor and they won't make anything public). No other sport has this blind rule. And it is one that really - could just make everyone cool down from time to time if people knew --> why.

US Soccer asked FIFA for an explanation. FIFA's response? The referee has stated "no comment".

The following is an excerpt by Peter King on an article he wrote today:
The call was awful. But in all sports, when hugely controversial calls are made -- the Tuck Rule call by Walt Coleman in the Raiders-Patriots playoff game nine years ago, the Jim Joyce ruination-of-the-perfect-game this month -- at least we know what the call is. Here, millions of people staring at TVs around the world are still asking, "What's the call?''

You could feel it in the bowels of Ellis Park after the game. Don't make a big stir over this. It's soccer. Nothing you can do it about it. It's just the way it is.

Why? Why is this just blindly accepted? FIFA uses a referee -- in a game of vital importance in determining who moves on in the biggest tournament in any sport in the world -- whose highest previous assignment was the African Cup. That's got to be the equivalent of a Mid-American Conference ref being assigned the Super Bowl.

Coaches coach for four years to get to the World Cup. Players train for four years to get to the World Cup. And they have their fate decided by some wordless man handed an assignment he had no business having. But as important: Just what is this governing body FIFA, with the world watching its signature event, doing when it doesn't mandate an explanation from the referee about what he called that determined the outcome of a game?

Every once in awhile, I write some good stuff

if I always wrote the things in my head - I would actually probably write a lot of good stuff. But unfortunately I usually don't get it out. I found a letter I wrote to Logan almost a year ago - one month from delivering. So you can imagine the hormones and all sorts of fun stuff that was going through me at the time. Mixed in with feeling like death, I was a little surprised to go back and see how lucid I was. Usually I don't have a really good first draft, but I feel this made the grade.

July 29, 2009

Dear Logan Alexander,

As I write this letter to you which may never be read, I write it with total love in my heart and with the intention that I may never remember some of the things I say today but feel compelled to share them.

I have been told that once you are born, my life will never be the same. I have been told that I will feel a love like I have never felt before. I have been told a whole shit ton of things by a lot of people who all want to dispense their advice to me. Some of whom I respect and others who I wish would just keep their mouth shut.

As the only child I ever plan to give birth to, I know I will love you to pieces. But I also know that it comes at a cost. A cost that will at times frustrate me to no end when you are acting in your own independent thought and manner. The same independent thought and manner that you inherited from both your father and I. Oh the irony in that rationale.

As a parent I know that I will be up against a constant battle for the next 18 years of your life as I try to guide and teach you in the way I believe you need to be guided in order to be a productive member of society. I know now that your failures and successes will to some degree feel like my failures and successes as a mother. Because in your failures I will feel as if I have failed you. In your successes I will feel it was my teachings that helped you succeed. What I hope is that someday you will consider me one of your closest confidantes, but that day will not be in the next 18 years of your life. As my sole purpose as your mother is not to be your best friend, but to provide for you and nurture you in the way that a good parent will so that you can one day leap from this nest and spread your wings and stand on your own. While the thought of you graduating from high school and leaving home has me already in tears for a baby I have yet to hold, I also know that the hardest of my work at that point will be done. And that through all the new experiences you will encounter - some good some bad - that hopefully you will know that your father and I will always be two people you can rely upon for advice and guidance, or just an ear to let you vent as you work your way through situations.

My greatest hope is that when you look back, you will feel as if your parents did the best job that they could in raising you. That at the end of the day, you are successful on your own merits and it was the principles and examples we established for you that allowed you to get where you are. That you can be proud of yourself and that you find a path of happiness that works for you.

My greatest fear is that all of the teachings that we lay as a foundation for you are undone by the friends you choose or the decisions you make. And I have seen that happen with people before. While friends are an important part of the socialization of a person and as you grow will become a dominant influence in your life, they also can lead people down dangerous paths. It doesn’t meant the people themselves are “bad people”, just that they make bad decisions. What I hope for you is that you can rise above peer pressure and truly be your own independent decision maker that refuses to be swayed by another person simply because they think a decision is a good or fun one. There have been several times I have had to stand up for myself which meant I stood alone or had to make a drastic change in order to feel good about myself afterwards. I hope you have the mental strength to overcome such adversity when faced with it.

I hope the decisions you make are based on logical thought and responsible actions - although I know as a teenager both of those two ideas will be lost on you. I hope that you choose not to do drugs not because the latest Don’t Do Drugs mascot tells you to or you went through the DARE program, or because they simply are illegal, but because you understand that drugs are dangerous. That you don’t know what was done to something to alter them further or if they were even made properly. And even if you do, that at the end of the day, they simply are a mind altering substance that will eat your brain cells away. That clarity of thought is simply a chemical reaction in your brain. Not that your problems have magically disappeared or that you now have the answers to them. And that despite your supreme knowledge that “you can handle them” and “you know your limits”, that those phrases are a bunch of bull shit. That one day you will realize you wish you had saved that money spent on them to go on a cool vacation to Europe or Hawaii. And that having a woman in your life is more gratifying than any drug induced episode you may have.

It is my hope that you meet a woman who is worthy of you. I say this of course as the mother of my only son who undoubtedly will probably think there is no woman truly worthy of my son, but I will cling to hope that this is one area where I am wrong. And that even if I don’t think that woman is good enough for you, that I will at least see that she makes you happy and that you are a good match for each other. I hope that your father and I will do a good job of teaching you how to treat women so that you can have a happy and lasting marriage.

So in all those times that you are frustrated with me, know that it is because I am doing what I believe is in your best interest even though it may not feel like it at the time. That I am making decisions for you and about you based on all of my experiences that I have gone through and drawn from. Know that I am not perfect but that I will have aspired to be the most perfect mother I can be for you. And that I will always love you my dear Logan.

Love,
Your mother

'Nuff Said!

The Bafana Bafana vs La Mexico match kicks off tomorrow! England vs USA on Saturday - sweet!

It's Finally Here!

After a 4 year wait, the World Cup is just days away. And what is more spectacular than than the US vs England as our opening match? Nothing! With the England Captain out ( and one of their center backs) as well as an unsure keeper - James will give us one me thinks - I think the US could just surprise the Brits. But then again, the Brits just might kick our ass mightily.

In the group of death - Ivory Coast was dealt a major blow to their run with their captain now out. The German captain also is out. Brazil's keeper might be injured for the group phase which could be a big problem for them. This could be a very interesting tournament. I can't wait for the opening match this Friday! Mexico versus the host nation South Africa.

It's going to be a great cup!!!!

When it comes to sports, my husband is often right

He called this the minute he knew Vick had signed with Philly. Of course - I am sure a million other people did too. But he isn't wrong too often.

Eagles trade McNabb to Redskins - Vick is now the Eagles QB

One of the rotten pillars of healthcare

And this is just one reason why healthcare reform needs to start happening with the pharmaceutical industry. And why I am not a fan of for profit corporations having a market share over our health.

Pharmaceutical Company Pfizer

Scarves Up!

That's right! Today MLS opens up with Seattle against the new expansion team the Philadelphia Union at Qwest field to start the season. I can't wait to go to the loud and rowdy game. Thank you MLS for not striking as this is the one fun activity I will get to do all year. Unfortunately the camera is never on my side of the field so no 2 seconds for fame for me. GO SOUNDERS!!!

Best Quote of the Day

The House's health care vote got a thumbs down from insurers,

Whew! That was close!!!

MLS and Players Union agree to CBA deal, 2010 season will begin on time.

The 2010 Major League Soccer season will begin on time after the league and its players union agreed to a new Collective Bargaining Agreement on Saturday. The sides agreed to a new five-year deal.

MLS commissioner Don Garber and MLS players union executive Bob Foose announced the deal in a conference call on Saturday.

Guaranteed contracts (details to come on how many), improved freedom of movement by players out of contract (not quite free agency) and "greatly improved compensation" for players.

The league will create a new Re-Entry Draft, where players out of contract will be able to be selected by new teams after the season.

Come on US Boys!

you have to at least try to do a little better! I know it is Holland but you won't make it out of the group if you play like that!

Now I get it (I mean I really get it)

They say to put your baby down when he is real young so he learns how to soothe himself to sleep. That's fine - i've been doing that since it made sense to me and I didn't really like the idea of trying to calm him to sleep for an hour. But it isn't really until now that I get it. So when I put my baby boy down on his tummy for a nap, rub his back, but in the process he decides to ............roll over and smile at me.....................I can just walk away..................

And less than 5 minutes later he had rolled himself back over and fallen asleep.

What a downer day

1. I realized I still weigh the same amount as I did two months ago - although I have been getting slimmer - I hate scales - that's why I hid mine. I should have never brought it back out.

2. A professional resume writer reviewed my resume and told me.....it shows that I am a doer not an achiever. :(

Well here is how she started out.......... "Here’s the good news: my first impression of you is that you have an impressive array of skills and experiences. You’re a qualified Marketing Professional with a lot to offer an employer. Now, here’s the bad news: your resume does not pass the 30 second test and the content is not up to the standards one would expect from a candidate like you."

And here was a great one regarding visual content........"I found your design to be crowded. The appearance is not polished, and it doesn’t say “high potential Director of Operations and Marketing." Remember that your resume is your marketing tool. It’s the first impression a potential employer has of you. Now – think about how generic brands are marketed versus the name brand. The packaging, advertising and branding are all carefully selected to attract attention and convince you to buy. Your resume should do the same thing - you want to be the brand name product. I’m concerned that your resume is selling you like a generic, and that it’s not likely to get picked among those of other candidates. The ideal resume design is airy, clean, and uncluttered, with the effective and strategic use of white space."

Can someone explain to me how one can make their resume airy, clean and uncluttered when you are trying to articulate you have and can do a lot of stuff???????? It's not like you do a designer resume. So here is my resume - no not exaclty as it is formatted, but you get the gist. Of course they wanted me to pay $400 to fix it - I about choked on that amount.

Overview
Marketing Communications / Project & Product Management / Sales & Account Management


Professional Profile - they are supposed to be spaced out

Business Development Market Research & Analysis
Strategic Partnerships Relationship Building
Team Leadership Presentation Skills
Product Development Web/Print Content & Collateral
Project Management Marketing Strategies and Campaigns
New Product Launch Sales Support & Training
Organizational Skills Interpersonal Skills


Professional Experience

NEXT ONLINE SOLUTIONS 2/2005 – 12/20009 
Director of Operations and Marketing
Marketing Responsibilities
Created training documentation, marketing collateral, email campaigns & web site content.
Created and executed marketing strategies for lead generation of web-based and direct mail campaigns.
Supervised all aspects of graphic design (including personnel).
Created and maintained competitive analysis, white paper and strategic positioning documents for partner marketing channels.
Created and implemented channel marketing plans.
Managed marketing affiliate relationships.
Collected ideas from sales and customers to drive the business needs.
Operations Responsibilities
Worked closely with development, design, marketing, customer service and finance departments
Responsible for all areas of product management.
Researched, analyzed and communicated customer feedback to determine feature enhancements and problematic trends to support, sales and engineering.
Created functional business requirements and documented process work flows.
Subject Matter Expert
Managed all aspects of vendor partnerships and integration efforts.
Managed contract and billing account management.
Ensured company compliance requirements were met to comply with regulations.
Supervised all aspects of customer service (including personnel).




KROLL FACTUAL DATA  7/2000 - 1/2005
National Marketing Specialist
Created and maintained a competitive analysis and strategic positioning documents for partner marketing channels.
Responsible for project and product management of technology integrations with strategic partners. 
Created channel marketing strategies and implemented through regional sales channels.
Managed 30+ lending platforms and 25+ strategic channel partner platforms.
Supervised sales support specialists. 
Gathered and documented business requirements for development.
Collaborated with internal and customer executive management teams.
Collaborated with internal company departments for project management needs.
Daily management of customers from sales through account implementation.
Managed accounts exceeding $8 million per year from inception.
Consistently met revenue goals and increased market penetration. 
Managed multi-million dollar accounts in the financial industry.

Inside Sales Support - Employment Division
Increased market penetration through sales calls.
Created training manuals for customers.
Implemented new customers through set-up and training.
Handled technical and customer service issues.

Jumping Up and Down!!

Here is the US's World Cup draw - SWEET!!!!! We can make it through!!!! And how cool to have the England matchup?!?!?!? Man we dodged a bullet.


England
United States
Algeria
Slovenia