Hi, My name is Athena Mortenson and I (feel like I) am an addict.....

Well ok not quite but that was my experience yesterday at the doctor.

So I finally got to the point where I can start taking my miracle medicine to help me battle my AS. It's been over a year since diagnosed so this has been quite the wait. I had to have a TB test - negative, and blood work done - that was horrific, and pre-authorization from the insurance company - nothing like having to have faith in your insurance company.

So the drug I have to take is a weekly injection........for the rest of my life. And that is ok - because I am supposed to feel like a new/normal person again. The drug will combat my disease, make me feel better and then my body will start to heal itself - thank god!

So all things were a go and I had to go to a teaching session to learn how to give the self administered injection - oh great says the girl who hates needles. At one point she asks me if I am coming down with anything or think I am - to which I completely lied and said - no, I feel fine. That morning I woke up with the beginning of a sore throat but was like - I am not backing out of this, I have waited too long. The nurse was real nice and very informative and in the end here is how it pretty much went down.

We got to the point of teaching and I thought - I got it! I can do it in my abdomen and that will be great because I have some fat hanging out (compliments of the baby) and I have a dead zone where nerves were severed as a result of the c-section which means I can stab myself without feeling it! Sweet!!!

No dice. She tells me right before we do this that first she teaches to do it in the thigh and then once you get comfortable with your self injections she suggests moving to the abdomen. But then, she throws the bomb out there - I can't inject it within an inch of....a scar, mole, freckle...yes she really said freckle.......or stretch mark. :O

What?????? No, no, no, no. I think. Are you serious? Yes she said.

I'm screwed!!!! Why you ask? That would be because my beautiful son did a lovely number on my body and my stomach has so many stretch marks on it that it looks like the labyrinth from the Shining. Seriously - it's almost as bad as Kate Gosselin's stomach was when she had 6 kids! So she takes a look and goes - oh no, you won't be able to inject on your abdomen.

Dammit Jim!

So now on to the injecting. At first it doesn't look so bad -the needle isn't that long - only about 3/4 of an inch - until she tells me I have to stick the whole thing in my leg. Oh excuse me........dart the needle into the fat tissue. THEN, I have to pull the plunger back to see if there is a blood swirl that comes into the syringe. Yummy!!!!! Starting to feel like all of those junkies you see on the show Intervention. After that you then have to count to 5 and PLUNGE the burning medication into your leg.

SO how did I do? Well I first had to take a small timeout after I had the needle ready to dart myself - I needed a small (second) pep talk with myself first. Then after I grossed myself out with pulling up on the plunger - no blood swirl and usually there won't be one apparently, I then had to plunge the fluid in to my leg at which point I turned my head because it is just too much that I am injecting anything into myself. Not to mention I was trying to count to 5 but I wasn't pushing the medicine in fast enough and then she tries to push the needle back down because I apparently was letting off the pressure.

Gee, I can't imagine why.

But in the end - I gave myself the shot and we are supposed to start feeling better in about a week or two. And fully feeling better by week 6. So we shall see how I feel around New Years. Right now, I will just settle for a good night's sleep.

My Two Favorite People

Does it really get any cuter than this?

Here are my boys at the MLS Cup Final last night. Logan loved it! I think the confetti tripped him out the most.

I'm still bummed Real won. But that has more to do with the Utah/Mormon aspect than anything else.

Innovation

I don't know why but my son loves his owl mobile in his swing and hates his teddy bear mobile above his crib. But what does he love to look at while wiggling on his back in his crib? That would be the soccer balls hanging above the crib under the shelf. SO much that een if he is at a bad angle - he will crane his neck backward in order to stare at them.

Ironically one day my husband pulled the balls off the nail they were hanging on to which Logan started screaming - so he immediately put them back - and Logan stopped and was happy again. However, I came home to find this - and to which Logan now looks at with happiness when he is wiggling in his crib. It was an interesting moment as I was both extremely proud of my husband for coming up with something so simple that made sense for our little guy, and yet found myself thinking - why did "I" not come up with this idea? As if my all knowing super mommy powers had failed me. LOL

Rookie Mommy Part II

Today was the first day I tried to cut Logan’s finger nails. You see where this is going don’t you?

So I was humming along and thinking it was all going quite well. And I was really excited because I had been doing the filing thing up to this point and it was kind of pissing me off. First of all - it only sort of worked. I would kind of get some nail filed and then I would have to wait for it to rip part way off on its own in order for me to then rip it off the full way. And Logan hated the file on his fingers.

Anywho.....I picked him up off the changing table, went to the couch, sat down and started to give him his bottle when I looked down and saw all this red stuff on my white shirt. What is that? And then I realize he has it all over his pj and some on his bib. And then I realize.................... I screwed up. I nicked his finger and it is bleeding! AAAAAGGGHHHHHH!!!

So of course I do a mini mom freak out and pull the bottle out and rush him back to the changing pad to figure out which finger it was – it was his thumb. And it just would not stop bleeding. I was like – it’s not that freaking big of a nick – wtf??? SO I tried putting pressure on it with a wet baby wash cloth – no dice. I tried putting a band aid on it – what a cluster f*ck. Trying to put a band aid first of all on any thumb is a hard thing to do - never mind a baby thumb where he is still doing the thumb squeeze next to the index finger and some spastic hand movements (and kicking your stomach in the process). It's the equivalent of trying to drink something while on a roller coaster ride - just doesn't work.

Finally a couple band aids later I was able to get a smaller band aid on it and dropped some Neosporin in the top – to which it still continued to bleed for another 5 minutes and I eventually had to put a new band aid on as well. Ironically Logan seemed totally fine throughout all of this and was looking at me more like – what’s wrong mommy? I am trying to not freak out so I don’t freak him out but of course I am freaked out and frustrated at myself and frustrated that his finger wouldn’t stop bleeding. I mean - didn't they give him that Vitamin K shot at the hospital to help with blood clotting? That would be handy right about now to start kicking in. I know it was just a little nick on the finger and I am quite sure that just about every mommy has done the same thing at some point with their small one. So I was able to move on from this issue - more so because he was not screaming or crying at me and making me feel like the worst mommy ever.

My New Outlook