Good news for the US WNT as they previously beat Sweden 2-0 and won last night against Nigeria 1-0. Congrats to them as they move on to a quarterfinal!
However..........I am not feeling confident that the #1 favorites to win the tournament look exactly like they can win. I almost don't think they will make it out of a quarterfinal. Why am I bashing on them you say? They won two games and tied one - that's good right? Well sort of. But if you saw their play.....not so good. Out of 6 halves of soccer in 7 days - they only had 2 good halves. The rest were not so good. And you could say things like - oh they played in a typhoon or the pitch wasn't all that great. Sure....sure.....but these are professionals. And when I mean professionals - our women have been in residency camp for two years. What does that mean you say? It means that our women have been living either together or centralized in SoCal and training about 4-5 days a week together every week for the past two years. They have traveled to other countries and played as well. The men when they go into residency camp.....do so for like a week or two weeks before a world cup - because they play for club teams - our women primarily do not. So that should give you some perspective.
Coach Ryan also has not done a stellar job IMO either and has looked scared, hesitant, uncertain, indecisive and frustrated at times. I would like to see him chew some body's a$$. Or better yet - SUB someone then.
Last night he makes a questionable first sub at about 75 minutes for an outside midfielder. Then he finally takes off the central back in like the 80th minute or something who is sitting on a yellow card (they can accumulate through the tournament and after X amount (it's usually 3 for the men but I kept hearing 2) they serve a suspension. He keeps his star player (Wambach) in (whose legs looked heavy and tired and looked like she was dragging) and instead subs the Captain out with a few minutes to go. But then what proceeded to occur is what really pisses me off on all levels.
So we are up 1-0 and in the last 5 minutes of the game we do what some other teams do but what I think is the (one of) worst form of sportsmanship and a bad coaching decision. Wambach at this point had hit the ground about 5 times in the first half and about 3 times already in the second half. Now when you hit the turf - it take a small toll on your body and you could hurt something in the process but it sure doesn't feel good. So they "posses" the ball by way of dribbling to the corner and just sitting on it basically waiting to either get hacked or have the ball kicked out. Which at that point - we get the kick or the throw and it becomes ground hog day for the rest of the match - in the corner and hang out because we are so bored with this game kind of mentality. This kind of crap doesn't happen in American sports. So as a result - the other thing they did - was have Wambach be one of the two players that played this Mickey Mouse game in the corner. Well guess what happened - she hit the ground about 4 more times in 7 minutes doing this. Meanwhile the crowd of course was booing and deservedly so.
Now think about it from this perspective. Nigeria is sitting on the third game they are about to lose. They have nothing to be excited about and now on a national stage they are being jerked around by the best team on the planet. So you say, what would I do? Cause I know that is what you are thinking.
Well........I've been in this situation before - both sides of the ball.
I would try to break her leg.
Yes I really said that. And I mean it. It is one of the few times my competitive nature turns on its head and says - we are no longer playing a sporting match. And if I have nothing to lose or feel it is worth it.....well it's like Star Wars........anger turns to hate....hate leads to the dark side........this scenario happens very quickly on the pitch. And if you think I am mean - well Julie Foudy was saying the same thing during the game so it isn't just me.
And why is the star player in the middle of that???? Bad coaching. Even if I was another player on the field - I would have said - Wambach, get your butt out of there and I'll take it for the team. Because Abby only has so much playing ability in her for a span of 2 weeks when she is constantly hitting the turf like she is, has a broken toe, 11 stitches in her head - and that is all we know of. She is a targeted player and well you need to protect those players when you can - not throw them in the firing line.
Tony says - well some teams see that as possessing the ball. Sure you can look at it that way - but I think it is a chump way to end a game - especially in the World Cup and personally - I thought it showed a lack of class.
My two cents for the day...
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Thursday, September 13, 2007
The Bloodied & Broken in the Quest for the Title
My previous post talked about Abby Wambach and the blood and the stitches. I felt it necessary to include a visual and a few words of relevant note:
This is what it means to be a competitor...
CHENGDU, China (AP) - Abby Wambach's bloody head has been stitched, and her toe needs to be numbed before games.
Don't worry about her, she insists. What really matters is if she and her American teammates fail against Sweden in the Women's World Cup.
"The toe is not an issue," she said. "Toe, head, whatever. I don't really care. I'll play with a broken bone."
For Full Story
This is what it means to be a competitor...
CHENGDU, China (AP) - Abby Wambach's bloody head has been stitched, and her toe needs to be numbed before games.
Don't worry about her, she insists. What really matters is if she and her American teammates fail against Sweden in the Women's World Cup.
"The toe is not an issue," she said. "Toe, head, whatever. I don't really care. I'll play with a broken bone."
For Full Story
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
What I wanted to be when I grew up
I don't talk much about what I wanted as a kid - my goals or dreams. Never really had the inclination to say I wanted to be a teacher or doctor. Never felt I had a clue or a calling. The only thing I really ever wanted was something I never attained and knew in my teens I would never attain it (thanks for moving away from the soccer capital of the country mom).
I wanted be on the Women's National Team.
I wanted to score a goal in the World Cup and do the airplane and scream at the crowd. I wanted to put my finger to my lips and do the shhhh to the booers. I of course never got there however. Instead, I am relegated to having the high and low feelings as shown below by Wambach.....in my local area women's league. And of course when someone tells me to take it easy - I give them a screw you look. Because really - this game has never been about let's jsut go out and have fun. For me it is my deepest sense of competition. My deepest sense of feeling the burning desire to win and be the best I can be. To amaze myself and be the perfect player. Not that that happens or all the time as I am very hard on myself as a player - I expect to be perfect. I of course am not.
So I wanted to give a little love to the WNT since I gave so much love to the MNT (ok so I really gave all my love to Michael Bradley but moving on).
The US women kicked off their opening day World Cup match yesterday in China going against a tough North Korean team. In the end the result was a 2-2 DRAW (which means tie for us Americans). Here is a quick recap from my coaching perspective - cause you know I am so quality there too. LOL Anyway......
The US women were physical and that is probably the what I was happiest about the most. They were scrappy and came to play. See pic below.
Unfortunately so did the North Koreans. The NK's were quick, had a great first touch, were creative in the attack and their passing was almost impeccable. They were able to penetrate our defensive third and create several series in teh box likening that to a ping pong game. They scored both their goals during a time when Wambach (our leading goal scorer) was out for a period of ten minutes due to a head injury. Now since it is my blog I am going to digress for a moment and get on a soap box.
Wambach comes out because her head is darn near pouring blood. In these situations - even if it calls for stitches, usually what happens is the trainer cleans it up a bit, slaps some magic goo on the spot to stop the bleeding or at least clot it so it has no where to go and cleans off the jersey, and sends them back out on the pitch. In this instance, blood was trickling down her head so bad they had to walk off the pitch and then she was out for 10 minutes with no word on what was going on. This effectively put the team down to 10 men against a pretty good NK side. Now as a coach what would your inclination be:
A. Do a quick substitute after 5 minutes when you have heard nothing from the trainers cause they aren't even on the field. (They were still ahead at this point BTW)
B. Stay down to 10 men and hope for the best until you get word she can go back on (or not and then make a sub) since this is the World Cup.
C. Do an immediate substitution because: the player had a head injury with bleeding and the possibility of a concussion is highly likely coupled with the fact the player who is your leading scorer and biggest player on the field and is the target player on all set pieces to win balls out of the air with her HEAD could further complicate a concussion or her health and jeopardize her ability to play in all proceeding matches.
Take your time...........I don't think you really need to be a coach to figure out what I think as a coach. As a player - I would have done the same thing as Abby - Coach, I'm good to go - put me back out there!
Times up. Freaking C for crying out loud. There is no way she did not get stitches after that game and who knows what the state of her head was as well.
One of the things Tony and I talked about was what does Coach Ryan think of his bench? I mean if he is hesitant to go to his bench and only did so in the waning minutes of the game - which he subbed a different attacker out - does he not think he has options that can attack and cover?? That's a scary prospect. Or was it that he got caught up in a WC match and froze. When I say froze - I have seen Tony do this - sorry honey. A change needs to be made or should be made and the coach gets caught up thinking - do I sub out my best who is not playing their best for a second choice whose best may be the same(ish) as my best not at their best?? Coach Athena says - hell yeah sub em out! You gotta make adjustments on the fly and have faith in the gourp of chickas you picked!!!
Speaking of the coach. Today I will go down to the local Best Buy and pick up a wireless game controller...cause he clearly thought he could control everything that was going on out on the pitch. At least the U20 Men's coach was more composed at their WC. Come on Ryan - you gotta let the ladies figure it out on the pitch themselves - they have trained for this day in and day out under your leadership - they should know what to do and when to do it. I felt like I was watching a rec coach out there.
As to the play of our women - to be honest - I thought they looked a little sluggish. They looked like either the heat and humidity were getting to them pretty early on in the game - or they just weren't match fit enough. If they weren't match fit - then they should have been training in the Midwest this summer to acclimate to the weather conditions they were going to face in China. Their first touch was pretty heavy, they lost their team shape too many times to count and had problems getting organized. Their counter attacks were slow and did not have numbers pushing forward. The defense was not marking well and there were a lot of bad passes and misread runs.
But look at the hops on this girl!
Ladies...I wish you the best of luck against Sweden - you're going to need it.
I wanted be on the Women's National Team.
I wanted to score a goal in the World Cup and do the airplane and scream at the crowd. I wanted to put my finger to my lips and do the shhhh to the booers. I of course never got there however. Instead, I am relegated to having the high and low feelings as shown below by Wambach.....in my local area women's league. And of course when someone tells me to take it easy - I give them a screw you look. Because really - this game has never been about let's jsut go out and have fun. For me it is my deepest sense of competition. My deepest sense of feeling the burning desire to win and be the best I can be. To amaze myself and be the perfect player. Not that that happens or all the time as I am very hard on myself as a player - I expect to be perfect. I of course am not.
So I wanted to give a little love to the WNT since I gave so much love to the MNT (ok so I really gave all my love to Michael Bradley but moving on).
The US women kicked off their opening day World Cup match yesterday in China going against a tough North Korean team. In the end the result was a 2-2 DRAW (which means tie for us Americans). Here is a quick recap from my coaching perspective - cause you know I am so quality there too. LOL Anyway......
The US women were physical and that is probably the what I was happiest about the most. They were scrappy and came to play. See pic below.
Unfortunately so did the North Koreans. The NK's were quick, had a great first touch, were creative in the attack and their passing was almost impeccable. They were able to penetrate our defensive third and create several series in teh box likening that to a ping pong game. They scored both their goals during a time when Wambach (our leading goal scorer) was out for a period of ten minutes due to a head injury. Now since it is my blog I am going to digress for a moment and get on a soap box.
Wambach comes out because her head is darn near pouring blood. In these situations - even if it calls for stitches, usually what happens is the trainer cleans it up a bit, slaps some magic goo on the spot to stop the bleeding or at least clot it so it has no where to go and cleans off the jersey, and sends them back out on the pitch. In this instance, blood was trickling down her head so bad they had to walk off the pitch and then she was out for 10 minutes with no word on what was going on. This effectively put the team down to 10 men against a pretty good NK side. Now as a coach what would your inclination be:
A. Do a quick substitute after 5 minutes when you have heard nothing from the trainers cause they aren't even on the field. (They were still ahead at this point BTW)
B. Stay down to 10 men and hope for the best until you get word she can go back on (or not and then make a sub) since this is the World Cup.
C. Do an immediate substitution because: the player had a head injury with bleeding and the possibility of a concussion is highly likely coupled with the fact the player who is your leading scorer and biggest player on the field and is the target player on all set pieces to win balls out of the air with her HEAD could further complicate a concussion or her health and jeopardize her ability to play in all proceeding matches.
Take your time...........I don't think you really need to be a coach to figure out what I think as a coach. As a player - I would have done the same thing as Abby - Coach, I'm good to go - put me back out there!
Times up. Freaking C for crying out loud. There is no way she did not get stitches after that game and who knows what the state of her head was as well.
One of the things Tony and I talked about was what does Coach Ryan think of his bench? I mean if he is hesitant to go to his bench and only did so in the waning minutes of the game - which he subbed a different attacker out - does he not think he has options that can attack and cover?? That's a scary prospect. Or was it that he got caught up in a WC match and froze. When I say froze - I have seen Tony do this - sorry honey. A change needs to be made or should be made and the coach gets caught up thinking - do I sub out my best who is not playing their best for a second choice whose best may be the same(ish) as my best not at their best?? Coach Athena says - hell yeah sub em out! You gotta make adjustments on the fly and have faith in the gourp of chickas you picked!!!
Speaking of the coach. Today I will go down to the local Best Buy and pick up a wireless game controller...cause he clearly thought he could control everything that was going on out on the pitch. At least the U20 Men's coach was more composed at their WC. Come on Ryan - you gotta let the ladies figure it out on the pitch themselves - they have trained for this day in and day out under your leadership - they should know what to do and when to do it. I felt like I was watching a rec coach out there.
As to the play of our women - to be honest - I thought they looked a little sluggish. They looked like either the heat and humidity were getting to them pretty early on in the game - or they just weren't match fit enough. If they weren't match fit - then they should have been training in the Midwest this summer to acclimate to the weather conditions they were going to face in China. Their first touch was pretty heavy, they lost their team shape too many times to count and had problems getting organized. Their counter attacks were slow and did not have numbers pushing forward. The defense was not marking well and there were a lot of bad passes and misread runs.
But look at the hops on this girl!
Ladies...I wish you the best of luck against Sweden - you're going to need it.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
We got Brazilled
Ah yes, some of you were wondering if I would post about the Brazil vs US game from Sunday. Who am I kidding - almost nobody reads this site. But since my Michael Bradley was playing - did you really expect me not to post? Just be thankful I can only get the Erevidisie Highlights instead of the full matches or else I would give you weekly commentary there as well.
So I decided to do a couple of things. First I wanted to give praise to my favorite FOOTBALLER (that was for some of you) by some pics - do you feel the need for me to share yet? ;)
Photo Gallery 1 - Tackling Kaka...I mean tackling the ball. :)
Why you picking on the little guy? Oh that's right - cuz he's got mad skillz!!!
Oh - did Bradley just dump the best player in the world to the pitch?!?!? Atta boy!
Ok so there was my short love affair with Michael Bradley. In reality - HE WAS FREAKING AWESOME!!!! I had an earlier post where I said he will take a year or two to mature and develop - but crap. If he starts playing like he did on Sunday - that year estimate just went down to like 6 months. It is clear the Dutch system is doing well by him as he is becoming one of the best central midfielders the US has ever had. Ok yes I know I am jumping the gun as some of you may think because he had ONE great game. But the talent and the knowledge base is there. i think he learned from the Sweden game and when Pablo comes back - i think the duo will pair well together.
All in all while the sports writers praised him gloriously, they still gave him like a semi low score - which i think they were scoring based on the play of the individual Brazilians talent not on how the US paired against each other. In my book - he had a 9.5. He had one bad pass and he made an error in judgement in the 85 minute. But you know what? He worked his a$$ off for that whole game and he was at least one of a couple that was trying to stop the darn play when he pulled down the Brazilian. So I don't really fault him for that. he knew when he messed up to - so it all comes back to learning lessons. I still can't believe this kid is 20. I can't wait to see how he plays in the next World Cup. Because we are going to need a player like him by that time.
But in the end it was 4-2 Brazil. Now the rest of us sometimes like to play the what if game and well IF the referee hadn't done his bit it could have been 2-2 or 3-2 US. So realistically this is the score of the game IMO...
Brazil - 2
US - 2
Referee - 3
So I decided to do a couple of things. First I wanted to give praise to my favorite FOOTBALLER (that was for some of you) by some pics - do you feel the need for me to share yet? ;)
Photo Gallery 1 - Tackling Kaka...I mean tackling the ball. :)
Why you picking on the little guy? Oh that's right - cuz he's got mad skillz!!!
Oh - did Bradley just dump the best player in the world to the pitch?!?!? Atta boy!
Ok so there was my short love affair with Michael Bradley. In reality - HE WAS FREAKING AWESOME!!!! I had an earlier post where I said he will take a year or two to mature and develop - but crap. If he starts playing like he did on Sunday - that year estimate just went down to like 6 months. It is clear the Dutch system is doing well by him as he is becoming one of the best central midfielders the US has ever had. Ok yes I know I am jumping the gun as some of you may think because he had ONE great game. But the talent and the knowledge base is there. i think he learned from the Sweden game and when Pablo comes back - i think the duo will pair well together.
All in all while the sports writers praised him gloriously, they still gave him like a semi low score - which i think they were scoring based on the play of the individual Brazilians talent not on how the US paired against each other. In my book - he had a 9.5. He had one bad pass and he made an error in judgement in the 85 minute. But you know what? He worked his a$$ off for that whole game and he was at least one of a couple that was trying to stop the darn play when he pulled down the Brazilian. So I don't really fault him for that. he knew when he messed up to - so it all comes back to learning lessons. I still can't believe this kid is 20. I can't wait to see how he plays in the next World Cup. Because we are going to need a player like him by that time.
But in the end it was 4-2 Brazil. Now the rest of us sometimes like to play the what if game and well IF the referee hadn't done his bit it could have been 2-2 or 3-2 US. So realistically this is the score of the game IMO...
Brazil - 2
US - 2
Referee - 3
Moment of Realization
Yesterday I found out that some of my former coworkers lost their jobs last week due to market attrition in the mortgage industry. One of them was my former boss. As I sat there thinking about the current market I am in and my past situation at that company, I realized soemthing. Last week would have been the day I lost my job too if I was still there. Reason I say that is because some of the top dogs there had a problem with me, and if they let my former boss go - there was no way they would have kept me. I found myself thankful that I am still employed although in the mortgage market as 36,000 people have lost their jobs in my industry since Jan1. And that number will be over 45,000 before the end of the year. I hope that all of you are able to land on your feet and yoru families do not experience hardship as a result of all this.
Au revoir mes amis!
Au revoir mes amis!
Rams drop season opener
maybe I should rephrase that to say Jackson drops two in season opener... Anywho Rams lost to the Panthers on opening day of the season. For the first time in like 6 years I am NOT in a football pool - weird feeling actually.
They take on the 49ers next - this should be a W!
They take on the 49ers next - this should be a W!
Saturday, September 08, 2007
GAME 1
Crossfire 2-0 Doosvedonya
Our little chickas pulled out the W today after having only 12 girls and one of our strikers going down with inury after about 20 minutes - taking us down to 11 at that point. But they got it done and worked real hard. They actually looked great in the first half and then the second half showed signs of fatigue. But we are proud regardless!
Next week we are already down to a starting 11 so we'll see how good that goes! But a good start to our season.
Our little chickas pulled out the W today after having only 12 girls and one of our strikers going down with inury after about 20 minutes - taking us down to 11 at that point. But they got it done and worked real hard. They actually looked great in the first half and then the second half showed signs of fatigue. But we are proud regardless!
Next week we are already down to a starting 11 so we'll see how good that goes! But a good start to our season.
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
On the mend
Last night I played in my first indoor game since before the wedding. On the last indoor game, one of the biznatches on the other team got pissed off I kept skinning her with my fabulous skills so she clipped me as I was turning on the boards and then shoved me with her forearm. I of course go body slamming into the boards and ended up bouncing off only to hold my left arm out and land on it. My elbow got severely jacked and I did a # on it as it took 6 weeks to heal and I couldn't bend it much for a week.
Ironically my first game back was against those purple biznatches (every team in the arena hates them btw). This time however since I am on the mend and working my way back to good fitness I tried to chill out a bit (I can be a rowdy player - never would have guessed that would you)and play mostly defense so I didn't have to run as much.
One of the weird things that has happened post surgery is my first touch. A first touch for the non soccer people who read this is how good you control the ball when you first receive it and setting yourself up for your second touch (if you take a second touch). You thought we all just went out and kicked a ball around and hoped for good things to happen didn't you? :) Anywho my first touch skills have come back. When I mean come back, I don't mean they have come back pre surgery - I mean they have come back from where I was at about 10 years ago. It's like I have had a break through or something. I feel like I have reconnected with my inner self in this manner. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't like I had a bad touch before, but it really felt more like........I had aged. I can't cut the ball really just yet because that might do a number on my ankle at the moment - but my first touch and my turns have been really good. I've been surprising myself. And while I have a pain in my heel, I feel in some ways like I have an extra bounce in my step.
And ironically last night I developed defensive skills I don't know if I ever had. I was never a defender in my former life but out of no where I must have saved like 8 goals and help set up a few for our team. I quickly became a marked woman and the other team wasn't passing the ball much to the players I was marking. I love those moments. I have found that my passing needs a smidge of work of course since I have been out for 3 months but I'm actually doing pretty good there too. It doesn't hurt to strike a ball with either my right or left foot and really the only pain I have is two parts: the compacting of the running and the push off with your foot. But really it feels like growing pains that i just have to work through and after a day or two my foot feels better than before I played. In the end, the purple chick who had pushed me in the earlier game, made a point to come over and waited to shake my hand for the good game when she could have just skipped me. I was a little surprised. I wasn't planning on shaking her hand. LOL
I got to play in an outdoor game last week with my co-ed team and did pretty good there too. I still can't sprint but that is ok. I was able to set some things up and distribute the ball pretty well so those are good starts. I am hoping to find myself another competitive outdoor women's team to play on since my old one conflicts with my co-ed team. Hopefully that will give me the balance I need to keep heading in the right direction.
Ironically my first game back was against those purple biznatches (every team in the arena hates them btw). This time however since I am on the mend and working my way back to good fitness I tried to chill out a bit (I can be a rowdy player - never would have guessed that would you)and play mostly defense so I didn't have to run as much.
One of the weird things that has happened post surgery is my first touch. A first touch for the non soccer people who read this is how good you control the ball when you first receive it and setting yourself up for your second touch (if you take a second touch). You thought we all just went out and kicked a ball around and hoped for good things to happen didn't you? :) Anywho my first touch skills have come back. When I mean come back, I don't mean they have come back pre surgery - I mean they have come back from where I was at about 10 years ago. It's like I have had a break through or something. I feel like I have reconnected with my inner self in this manner. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't like I had a bad touch before, but it really felt more like........I had aged. I can't cut the ball really just yet because that might do a number on my ankle at the moment - but my first touch and my turns have been really good. I've been surprising myself. And while I have a pain in my heel, I feel in some ways like I have an extra bounce in my step.
And ironically last night I developed defensive skills I don't know if I ever had. I was never a defender in my former life but out of no where I must have saved like 8 goals and help set up a few for our team. I quickly became a marked woman and the other team wasn't passing the ball much to the players I was marking. I love those moments. I have found that my passing needs a smidge of work of course since I have been out for 3 months but I'm actually doing pretty good there too. It doesn't hurt to strike a ball with either my right or left foot and really the only pain I have is two parts: the compacting of the running and the push off with your foot. But really it feels like growing pains that i just have to work through and after a day or two my foot feels better than before I played. In the end, the purple chick who had pushed me in the earlier game, made a point to come over and waited to shake my hand for the good game when she could have just skipped me. I was a little surprised. I wasn't planning on shaking her hand. LOL
I got to play in an outdoor game last week with my co-ed team and did pretty good there too. I still can't sprint but that is ok. I was able to set some things up and distribute the ball pretty well so those are good starts. I am hoping to find myself another competitive outdoor women's team to play on since my old one conflicts with my co-ed team. Hopefully that will give me the balance I need to keep heading in the right direction.
Thursday, August 30, 2007
What it is like on the other side
Safeco Field
I would like to write a disclaimer on this post before you read it as some people would view this post as a bragging post when in fact that is not the intention. It is simply to give you an insight into how some people spend their time and money and the level of luxury at something as trivial as a ball game which we got to enjoy for a night. I however do not have that kind of money to do these types of things so I must rely on being the charity case from those that do. Which BTW I am quite fine with. :)
Tony and I both are big into FREE sporting event tickets (especially baseball - we are football and football fans remember) and as a result, we have gone to much more sporting events free than we have paid for. Somehow it is one of the lucky things I have been fortunate to get from my employers when it comes time for raffles or availability.
On Tuesday Tony and I got a special treat. We got to go to the Mariners game at Safeco field. We didn't just get to go though or get free tickets. We got "Diamond Club" passes. For those that don't know what that means, it means my boss plunked down mega moolah for the best seats at the ball park, the best parking, and access into the club for special people where you get good food and alcohol for FREE. Well it isn't really free - he paid for it in his tickets. But to give you an idea of how mucho cool these seats are. He must have paid a minimum of $25K for them and possibly more.
So when you get to the parking garage this is how it goes (I really thought they were kidding when i was first told this until we experienced it):
Parking
- You drive into the parking garage and you wave your little blue parking pass to one of the attendants. He then yells to the next guy a ways down "Diamond Club!" and then tells you to go to the right - Diamond Club gets to park on a special level all by themselves. When you get to the next guy he tells you were you can park and yells again "Diamond Club". You then walk about 100 feet to the stairs or elevator and we of course chose to take the skywalk across - Tony thought that was cool. I believe his comment was - we get to avoid the masses down below. LOL Ironically every other time we have gone to a baseball game we are one of the masses.
Finding the Diamond Club
I feel the need to tell this next part of the story not because I am mean but because I am blonde and stupid sometimes and for the people that know me they will understand I was not being mean but was instead a little dense. We walk into the stadium and now we have no where to go. So I see to the side there is this guy sitting in a wheel chair all decked out in Mariner stuff and he has a couple of those Mariner passes around his neck making him look official. Ok well he also had a headband with two little antennaes sticking off of it and I thought maybe it was just part of his silliness because the guy was handicapped - mentally and physically. So Athena looks at this guy and thinks what you ask???? oh he must be like the Walmart greeter people who help you out when you first come into the store. So as Tony walks off i stop and ask this guy if he works there. I mean he looked official for crying out loud! He looks at me and says something that must have been gibberish because it was not coherent. I ask again if he worked there and does he know how to get to the Diamond Club. he looks at me with the same confused face and says something else I don't comprehend at which point I realize I am not getting the answer out of him that I need. SO I walk on.
I catch up with Tony and he goes, Athena - he doesn't work here - he's a handicapped guy. I of course retorted with I thought he was like the Walmart greeter. And my husband who loves me so much started laughing at me. Unfortunately a few minutes later I saw the same guy being wheeled around and we passed him again and he looked at me and I just tried to act like I didn't see him - I was embarrassed by that point. So after we finally asked someone who really DID work there how to get to the diamond club - we were pointed to an elevator and we went down to the basement.
The Diamond Club
When we got off the elevator there was the Diamond Club - it looked like a restaurant/bar/lounge place. We go inside and you basically get to eat an all you can eat buffet - for FREE. And no tipping either. The bar was free and as we walked up to the bar Tony turns to me and says, "baby I think this is a pay bar." Well I had been told otherwise but I had my purse ready just in case. But nope - no pay bar. SO we got our drinks and food and sat down at a table just as the first pitch was being thrown. The food was pretty decent - lots of ripe fruit and cracker and cheeses. Some gourmet snack food things, desserts, carved turkey, salmon and meatloaf along with mashed potatoes, rolls and pasta & green salads were available. When you have Diamond Club tickets - you literally walk out from inside the Club to your seats.
The Seats
Our seats were 7 rows from the front and we got to sit right behind home plate staring down the line to 3rd base. We were so close to the dugout that I got to take this picture with my phone. It looks a lot further out, but we were 10 feet from the Mariner's dugout.
We also were right where the netting no longer protected though so you had to pay attention to the game. But there were a total of 16 runs scored so it made for fun. The next bit of status you got was you had personal trash bags on the back of the seat in front of you and each one contained a card that you could check off what you wanted to eat or drink and the ladies at the top of the entrance would go fetch these items for you. you could order, hot dogs, nachos, hamburgers, wine, beer, soda and a heck of a lot more. And it just came to you - you didn't even have to leave your seat. They also had some snacky food inside you could go back in for. Alas - my cotton candy was gone before inning 1 was over.
At the end of the night, we were able to move out of there quickly and get back to the garage where we were able to exit quickly and get home. We had a great time, but in the end, unless it was my Rammies, I hardly see how I would ever pay for that kind of experience but I am glad I had the opportunity to do it off someone else's dime. But now you know, what the other side looks like.
I would like to write a disclaimer on this post before you read it as some people would view this post as a bragging post when in fact that is not the intention. It is simply to give you an insight into how some people spend their time and money and the level of luxury at something as trivial as a ball game which we got to enjoy for a night. I however do not have that kind of money to do these types of things so I must rely on being the charity case from those that do. Which BTW I am quite fine with. :)
Tony and I both are big into FREE sporting event tickets (especially baseball - we are football and football fans remember) and as a result, we have gone to much more sporting events free than we have paid for. Somehow it is one of the lucky things I have been fortunate to get from my employers when it comes time for raffles or availability.
On Tuesday Tony and I got a special treat. We got to go to the Mariners game at Safeco field. We didn't just get to go though or get free tickets. We got "Diamond Club" passes. For those that don't know what that means, it means my boss plunked down mega moolah for the best seats at the ball park, the best parking, and access into the club for special people where you get good food and alcohol for FREE. Well it isn't really free - he paid for it in his tickets. But to give you an idea of how mucho cool these seats are. He must have paid a minimum of $25K for them and possibly more.
So when you get to the parking garage this is how it goes (I really thought they were kidding when i was first told this until we experienced it):
Parking
- You drive into the parking garage and you wave your little blue parking pass to one of the attendants. He then yells to the next guy a ways down "Diamond Club!" and then tells you to go to the right - Diamond Club gets to park on a special level all by themselves. When you get to the next guy he tells you were you can park and yells again "Diamond Club". You then walk about 100 feet to the stairs or elevator and we of course chose to take the skywalk across - Tony thought that was cool. I believe his comment was - we get to avoid the masses down below. LOL Ironically every other time we have gone to a baseball game we are one of the masses.
Finding the Diamond Club
I feel the need to tell this next part of the story not because I am mean but because I am blonde and stupid sometimes and for the people that know me they will understand I was not being mean but was instead a little dense. We walk into the stadium and now we have no where to go. So I see to the side there is this guy sitting in a wheel chair all decked out in Mariner stuff and he has a couple of those Mariner passes around his neck making him look official. Ok well he also had a headband with two little antennaes sticking off of it and I thought maybe it was just part of his silliness because the guy was handicapped - mentally and physically. So Athena looks at this guy and thinks what you ask???? oh he must be like the Walmart greeter people who help you out when you first come into the store. So as Tony walks off i stop and ask this guy if he works there. I mean he looked official for crying out loud! He looks at me and says something that must have been gibberish because it was not coherent. I ask again if he worked there and does he know how to get to the Diamond Club. he looks at me with the same confused face and says something else I don't comprehend at which point I realize I am not getting the answer out of him that I need. SO I walk on.
I catch up with Tony and he goes, Athena - he doesn't work here - he's a handicapped guy. I of course retorted with I thought he was like the Walmart greeter. And my husband who loves me so much started laughing at me. Unfortunately a few minutes later I saw the same guy being wheeled around and we passed him again and he looked at me and I just tried to act like I didn't see him - I was embarrassed by that point. So after we finally asked someone who really DID work there how to get to the diamond club - we were pointed to an elevator and we went down to the basement.
The Diamond Club
When we got off the elevator there was the Diamond Club - it looked like a restaurant/bar/lounge place. We go inside and you basically get to eat an all you can eat buffet - for FREE. And no tipping either. The bar was free and as we walked up to the bar Tony turns to me and says, "baby I think this is a pay bar." Well I had been told otherwise but I had my purse ready just in case. But nope - no pay bar. SO we got our drinks and food and sat down at a table just as the first pitch was being thrown. The food was pretty decent - lots of ripe fruit and cracker and cheeses. Some gourmet snack food things, desserts, carved turkey, salmon and meatloaf along with mashed potatoes, rolls and pasta & green salads were available. When you have Diamond Club tickets - you literally walk out from inside the Club to your seats.
The Seats
Our seats were 7 rows from the front and we got to sit right behind home plate staring down the line to 3rd base. We were so close to the dugout that I got to take this picture with my phone. It looks a lot further out, but we were 10 feet from the Mariner's dugout.
We also were right where the netting no longer protected though so you had to pay attention to the game. But there were a total of 16 runs scored so it made for fun. The next bit of status you got was you had personal trash bags on the back of the seat in front of you and each one contained a card that you could check off what you wanted to eat or drink and the ladies at the top of the entrance would go fetch these items for you. you could order, hot dogs, nachos, hamburgers, wine, beer, soda and a heck of a lot more. And it just came to you - you didn't even have to leave your seat. They also had some snacky food inside you could go back in for. Alas - my cotton candy was gone before inning 1 was over.
At the end of the night, we were able to move out of there quickly and get back to the garage where we were able to exit quickly and get home. We had a great time, but in the end, unless it was my Rammies, I hardly see how I would ever pay for that kind of experience but I am glad I had the opportunity to do it off someone else's dime. But now you know, what the other side looks like.
Friday, August 24, 2007
More Americans Abroad
Remember the Rock Star Meets Soccer Star post? Well here is a follow up.
Kasey Keller signs with EPL Team Fulham
Congrats to Keller! I wish you the best on the best American made English team out there! :)
Kasey Keller signs with EPL Team Fulham
Congrats to Keller! I wish you the best on the best American made English team out there! :)
Thursday, August 23, 2007
UnSweden Please
Ahhh my love of Michael Bradley grows - but he still has some maturing to do. I say give him a year but most likely two and he will be THE brick in the middle for our US National Team. Until then, I will gripe about commentators. :)
An Article I am ok with...
Fox Sports Gets it Right
Boo to the ESPN writer......
Were you even watching the same game?
An Article I am ok with...
Fox Sports Gets it Right
Boo to the ESPN writer......
Were you even watching the same game?
The Sky is Falling........
To recap what I have been seeing in my industry for the past 4 months, read the article below. It's pretty bad people. The #1 mortgage lender in the nation tapped into an emergency line of credit over $1 Billion. People are losing their jobs in droves.........not a good time right now. Luckily for me I should be ok for at least another 6 months - hopefully 3 years. But aside from that, history will repeat itself and we will overcome these obstacles.
My only hope is that while I am a capitalist, I do believe corporations have an ethical responsibility to consumers and the economy as a whole to understand the ramifications of their actions in pursuit of wealth and prosperity. Too many lenders created too many sketchy loan products in the attempt to get people in a home so they could make thousands per borrower without truly caring about the impact it was going to play out in the near term. One of the things i hate about my industry is they do not care about consumers rights or their understanding and instead try to walk a tight rope too tight to walk. Foreclosure rankings came out yesterday that showed a 93% increase from July 2006 and a substantial increase from the following month as well.
If you are wondering where all these people will land? Go take a look at your local used car sales lot and you should get a glimpse...
The Sky is Falling....
My only hope is that while I am a capitalist, I do believe corporations have an ethical responsibility to consumers and the economy as a whole to understand the ramifications of their actions in pursuit of wealth and prosperity. Too many lenders created too many sketchy loan products in the attempt to get people in a home so they could make thousands per borrower without truly caring about the impact it was going to play out in the near term. One of the things i hate about my industry is they do not care about consumers rights or their understanding and instead try to walk a tight rope too tight to walk. Foreclosure rankings came out yesterday that showed a 93% increase from July 2006 and a substantial increase from the following month as well.
If you are wondering where all these people will land? Go take a look at your local used car sales lot and you should get a glimpse...
The Sky is Falling....
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Because I am such a dork
So i am officially a Who's Who Women's edition member. This is a paid membership though so I don't feel "sooo" cool. But I did score some airline tickets out of it so it wasn't all that bad. Because I am such a dork - I have copied my Who's Who bit that you can only get if you are a memeber and of course PAID to be a member. So I decided to share with my peeps here as well. The reality is, the fact I have my name published somewhere as President of a Company - that really feeds my narcissistic side........... :) But seriously - 30 years old and an entrepreneur - that is something to be proud of.
Athena A. Morrissey
President
The Collegiate Soccer Source
Member Since:
October 16, 2006
E-mail Address(es):
info@collegiate-soccer.com
Website(s):
http://www.collegiate-soccer.com
Type of Business:
Sports
Marketing Area:
National
Expertise:
Managing Company, Coaching, Competing
Major Products And Services:
College Soccer Recruitment Services, Matching Service for Students and Colleges
Favorite Business Publication:
Newsweek
Hobbies/Sports:
Coaching Competitive Youth Soccer
Education:
Bachelor of Science in Business, Concentration in Marketing and Finance, North Carolina State University
Affiliations and Awards:
Certified, Consumer Date Industry Association
Charity:
Disabled American Veterans, Juvenile Diabetes Foundation, Special Olympics
Number of Years in Current Position:
1
What does he/she attribute success to?:
She attributes her success to understanding her target audience and the market.
How did they get involved in profession?:
She became involved in her profession because she played high school sports and saw the need for better recruitment processes.
Highlight of career?:
The highlight of her career was and continues to be feeling successful in helping students find college soccer programs and financial aid.
Athena A. Morrissey
President
The Collegiate Soccer Source
Member Since:
October 16, 2006
E-mail Address(es):
info@collegiate-soccer.com
Website(s):
http://www.collegiate-soccer.com
Type of Business:
Sports
Marketing Area:
National
Expertise:
Managing Company, Coaching, Competing
Major Products And Services:
College Soccer Recruitment Services, Matching Service for Students and Colleges
Favorite Business Publication:
Newsweek
Hobbies/Sports:
Coaching Competitive Youth Soccer
Education:
Bachelor of Science in Business, Concentration in Marketing and Finance, North Carolina State University
Affiliations and Awards:
Certified, Consumer Date Industry Association
Charity:
Disabled American Veterans, Juvenile Diabetes Foundation, Special Olympics
Number of Years in Current Position:
1
What does he/she attribute success to?:
She attributes her success to understanding her target audience and the market.
How did they get involved in profession?:
She became involved in her profession because she played high school sports and saw the need for better recruitment processes.
Highlight of career?:
The highlight of her career was and continues to be feeling successful in helping students find college soccer programs and financial aid.
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
Rock Star Meets Soccer Star
Last night Tony and I went to the Sounders / Rapids quarterfinal match of the US Open Cup at Qwest field. Needless to say the Rapids got their a$$es handed to them 5-0 by the Sounders. That's pretty ridiculous since the Sounders are a 1st division team and the Rapids are an MLS team. This is why promotion relegation could be a good thing in the US with respect to sports. For those that don't understand, it's like my Rammies playing a AAA football team and getting spanked by the AAA team in a shutout. Not good. The Rapids didn't even look like they cared the first half which is where the first three goals came from. They still had a chance going into the second half if that retard hadn't committed a stupid foul 5 minutes in, in the middle of the field to get sent off and take the Rapids down to 10 men.
So the highlight of the match however was when Tony noticed Kasey Keller sitting 25 feet away from us in the same section. For those who do not know who Kasey Keller is.....he is a National Team player who was our goalie in the last World Cup. He is a Washington native and UW grad and he of course was wearing a Sounders scarf in support of the home team. He most recently played in Germany but is yet to sign with another team (I asked KK if he had yet). So Tony of course is like...let's leave him alone - we get to be at a game with him and see him from afar and all that. LOL Yeah well little miss star struck rock star over here was having none of that!!!!! So a few minutes before the end of the game we walked over and I got to shake his hand and meet him!!!!!!! (I had to wait about 2 minutes to get his attention cause he was talking but his wife clearly saw I wasn't going away and nudged him a bit. lol) How cool is that???? I got to meet a National Team player!!!!!!!!! He was very gracious and I made sure to take no more than 60 seconds of his time but is that cool or what?!?!?!?!?!? The irony is I already have an autographed picture of him so it was neat to say I actually got to meet him now too!
As to the other things in my life - they are all good. Things seem to be stabilizing quite nicely. :) I'll try to find something to write about soon.
So the highlight of the match however was when Tony noticed Kasey Keller sitting 25 feet away from us in the same section. For those who do not know who Kasey Keller is.....he is a National Team player who was our goalie in the last World Cup. He is a Washington native and UW grad and he of course was wearing a Sounders scarf in support of the home team. He most recently played in Germany but is yet to sign with another team (I asked KK if he had yet). So Tony of course is like...let's leave him alone - we get to be at a game with him and see him from afar and all that. LOL Yeah well little miss star struck rock star over here was having none of that!!!!! So a few minutes before the end of the game we walked over and I got to shake his hand and meet him!!!!!!! (I had to wait about 2 minutes to get his attention cause he was talking but his wife clearly saw I wasn't going away and nudged him a bit. lol) How cool is that???? I got to meet a National Team player!!!!!!!!! He was very gracious and I made sure to take no more than 60 seconds of his time but is that cool or what?!?!?!?!?!? The irony is I already have an autographed picture of him so it was neat to say I actually got to meet him now too!
As to the other things in my life - they are all good. Things seem to be stabilizing quite nicely. :) I'll try to find something to write about soon.
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Another Bumpy Day
Sometimes I think drama just follows me. So today at about 10AM, I was called to have an update with the rest of the company in our soft seating area. Only to be told that the deal they were so close to signing with this hedge fund.....got dropped. Basically the largest lender in the country came out two days ago and said their earnings was 50% below projected and that they did not foresee the the mortgage market recovering until 2010. As is the company who was going to purchase technology from my company panicked as they too had just lost some money in the market and another large player just lost $400 mill on a different deal. So they called up the big man and told him it was off. Then we were all told today. here is the irony.....I still have a job.
I am one of about 4 people that do. And I guess my boss wants to make a go of it. After some discussions with some loved ones I think I have decided to hang out and see where this path takes me and for how long. I feel that it may be my best option financially and for all of you that know the meaning of that......well we can put up with a little more crap for awhile to make sure the mortgage gets paid. Ironically I actually feel better now that the CEO is going to take over and reallly run this product himself. I feel like it gives me more time to get our soccer biz moving and it gives me the potential in about 3 years or so to really cash out on what was offered and told me when I came to Seattle 2 and a half years ago. At this point I feel (and Tony) that I should bury the hatchet of the last 2 years and start forward with a positive face and plug away. The boss spoke with me privately after all this and while I have to take a small salary cut - it isn't anything like what I would have to take if I found another job. I also in some ways feel like if this doesn't work out in 12 months or so, that I could probably get my multi (and I mean mega multi) millionaire boss to give me a small cash loan to float for a few extra months if need be.
In the end, would I be any worse then vs now - I don't think so. With all the drama and chaos, it can send panic through one, but I feel that my path is before me and it is unfolding in due course. We shall see in the future if I was a genius or idiot. LOL But for now, I feel pretty good about where I may be headed. He said some really nice things in my one on one (like I had really matured over the past couple years - stop laughing some of you, and that I had maintained a positive attitude - stop laughing again) and made me feel important, valued and needed. We shall see if that reallly holds up, but for now, the eternal optimist I secretly am is holding out hope.
Good luck to all my co-workers!! After Tuesday, the 14,000 square foot office will be really really quiet. And that will be a little saddening. To add soem humor to it - I can pretty much guarantee the pop and juice will no longer be free. :)
I am one of about 4 people that do. And I guess my boss wants to make a go of it. After some discussions with some loved ones I think I have decided to hang out and see where this path takes me and for how long. I feel that it may be my best option financially and for all of you that know the meaning of that......well we can put up with a little more crap for awhile to make sure the mortgage gets paid. Ironically I actually feel better now that the CEO is going to take over and reallly run this product himself. I feel like it gives me more time to get our soccer biz moving and it gives me the potential in about 3 years or so to really cash out on what was offered and told me when I came to Seattle 2 and a half years ago. At this point I feel (and Tony) that I should bury the hatchet of the last 2 years and start forward with a positive face and plug away. The boss spoke with me privately after all this and while I have to take a small salary cut - it isn't anything like what I would have to take if I found another job. I also in some ways feel like if this doesn't work out in 12 months or so, that I could probably get my multi (and I mean mega multi) millionaire boss to give me a small cash loan to float for a few extra months if need be.
In the end, would I be any worse then vs now - I don't think so. With all the drama and chaos, it can send panic through one, but I feel that my path is before me and it is unfolding in due course. We shall see in the future if I was a genius or idiot. LOL But for now, I feel pretty good about where I may be headed. He said some really nice things in my one on one (like I had really matured over the past couple years - stop laughing some of you, and that I had maintained a positive attitude - stop laughing again) and made me feel important, valued and needed. We shall see if that reallly holds up, but for now, the eternal optimist I secretly am is holding out hope.
Good luck to all my co-workers!! After Tuesday, the 14,000 square foot office will be really really quiet. And that will be a little saddening. To add soem humor to it - I can pretty much guarantee the pop and juice will no longer be free. :)
Thursday, July 19, 2007
What's wrong with me?
Do you ever have those days where you feel completely inept? Well, I have been having several of those. To begin with, my usual motivation........has lept out the window. I feel myself wallowing in self pity and knowing how to stop it and yet.....not stopping it. This seems to further compound the problem. I guess the first thing that is dragging me down is the whole job thing. I have submitted to a bunch of places and.....nothing. I'm not even getting sniffs. I'm not sure what the problem is - but I do have a couple ideas. I feel like everyone is looking at my job titles solely and not the experience behind them. I don't understand with the type of experience that I have - why I have not been able to get more than the one sniff - which was from MS. Speaking of them, it looks like they may be "going in a different direction with the position". See - I told you I bombed it - and yet I am probably in reality the most qualified applicant for that position. At this rate, I will have to work two retail jobs just to try and make things meet if I lose my job. I actually ponder working for Walgreen's these days. Can you believe that? I will have felt like I have sunk to new lows. I know I am worth more than that and smarter than that and yet - why can I not find something? Why can I not find people that might be interested in at least speaking with me? I have looked over my resume a hundred times and over the past year I have tweaked it but I think it looks great.
I find myself stressed that if I don't find a new job - I could lose the house. I find myself stressed that if I have to work for the Asian lady at Quizno's - I may just have to start on some hard core anti depressants. And yet this is where I feel I am slipping into. I feel like everything is in my control to change - and yet I can't change anything. I find it frustrating that I don't interview well and primarily because of my personality. Which btw - what the hell is wrong with my personality? I find it frustrating that there are a lot of jobs available - but not with my talents or expertise. I don't have a lot of networking people I can go to - and most that I have.....seem to be ignoring me. It's like they all don't want to tell me they don't think i can get certain jobs. I'm not apposed to menial jobs but I cannot take a job that I could have walked right out of college with no experience and gotten paid the same amount......when I do have some pretty substantial experience behind me. I've looked at Philips which is down the street from me and yet, half the time when I am looking at jobs like they have posted I go - where do you find people with all this yaya experience in ultrasound dynamics and so forth. It's a freaking marketing position.
I find it frustrating that I know what needs to be done with our soccer business, but it takes money to make money. I'm not so opposed to getting a loan - but because it is a start up - I have no idea when I could pay it off or how much I could pay off a month. And that in itself is a little scary too - especially since I most likely will be taking a pay cut on any job I do eventually get. Do I have no value to some company? Am I too much for people to handle? I'm at the point where I am about to start applying for EA jobs under the guise I have lots of experience managing to multiple things. But I know I would not exactly be ecstatic about doing that. Not because I can't do it - but because I know I could do a lot more. How do other strong personalities get hired in organizations? Is there some writing on the wall everyone sees but me? I don't know how much longer I can stay at the company I am at - it's been driving me crazy for too long. And yet, what if I can't find anything out there???? The mortgage market is in the shitter and not to be coming up for air anytime in the next 12-18 months, so even in the industry I love to hate, I can't really find something.
I find myself at night saying - you need to do this or you need to use your free time more productively and you know if you were doing this now that in one month you could be doing this, and yet I sit there. Wallowing like a dumbass. The worst part is - I keep feeling like something is going to fall out of the sky and dump in my lap and go - tada!!! Yet I feel and know that you have to create your own luck. And I am not creating it. I don't know what my deal is, and I don't even know if I feel better that I ranted a little bit.
I find myself stressed that if I don't find a new job - I could lose the house. I find myself stressed that if I have to work for the Asian lady at Quizno's - I may just have to start on some hard core anti depressants. And yet this is where I feel I am slipping into. I feel like everything is in my control to change - and yet I can't change anything. I find it frustrating that I don't interview well and primarily because of my personality. Which btw - what the hell is wrong with my personality? I find it frustrating that there are a lot of jobs available - but not with my talents or expertise. I don't have a lot of networking people I can go to - and most that I have.....seem to be ignoring me. It's like they all don't want to tell me they don't think i can get certain jobs. I'm not apposed to menial jobs but I cannot take a job that I could have walked right out of college with no experience and gotten paid the same amount......when I do have some pretty substantial experience behind me. I've looked at Philips which is down the street from me and yet, half the time when I am looking at jobs like they have posted I go - where do you find people with all this yaya experience in ultrasound dynamics and so forth. It's a freaking marketing position.
I find it frustrating that I know what needs to be done with our soccer business, but it takes money to make money. I'm not so opposed to getting a loan - but because it is a start up - I have no idea when I could pay it off or how much I could pay off a month. And that in itself is a little scary too - especially since I most likely will be taking a pay cut on any job I do eventually get. Do I have no value to some company? Am I too much for people to handle? I'm at the point where I am about to start applying for EA jobs under the guise I have lots of experience managing to multiple things. But I know I would not exactly be ecstatic about doing that. Not because I can't do it - but because I know I could do a lot more. How do other strong personalities get hired in organizations? Is there some writing on the wall everyone sees but me? I don't know how much longer I can stay at the company I am at - it's been driving me crazy for too long. And yet, what if I can't find anything out there???? The mortgage market is in the shitter and not to be coming up for air anytime in the next 12-18 months, so even in the industry I love to hate, I can't really find something.
I find myself at night saying - you need to do this or you need to use your free time more productively and you know if you were doing this now that in one month you could be doing this, and yet I sit there. Wallowing like a dumbass. The worst part is - I keep feeling like something is going to fall out of the sky and dump in my lap and go - tada!!! Yet I feel and know that you have to create your own luck. And I am not creating it. I don't know what my deal is, and I don't even know if I feel better that I ranted a little bit.
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
I thought it was summer?????
And these are the days when I miss the summer heat of all the places I have lived in...
http://www.weather.com/outlook/events/weddings/local/USWA0038?from=recentsearch
BRING BACK THE SUN!!!!!!!!!
http://www.weather.com/outlook/events/weddings/local/USWA0038?from=recentsearch
BRING BACK THE SUN!!!!!!!!!
Friday, July 13, 2007
Can you say mmmmmm
Yes i know he is younger - but some good eye candy nonetheless.....appealing to my soccer guy side. And he scored the game winner against Uruguay the other night to lead the US U20's to the quaterfinal's of the World Cup.
ohhh Michael Bradley
ohhh Michael Bradley
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
The Last 24 hrs
Last night I thought my issues were confined to Tuesday. That was until I walked in to work this AM.
My Tuesday -
It started off on a positive note. We were sending out the CSS email to a targeted list of 1000 people who had kids who were seniors this year. While our open rate was almost 20% and the click through rate was about 10%, we didn't get anyone to bite. But that does not mean the small campaign was not successful. To begin with, the open and click through rate was leaps and bounds better than average. One typically has a 1-3% click through rate so we were above that curve. And realistically, the first few times you start marketing - you usually don't get good responses - all about that power of branding. I don't feel bad nobody bit yet either since the web site needs to be redone - thank you Rob for helping a sis out! - and will be fixed by months end. As well as we are sure many people went home to consult with significant others and their kids. So we shall see if anyone bites over the next week. But I am still a little bummed.
Next came my interview with Microsoft. Yes I had an interview with them after passing a phone interview really well. The problem was I was interviewing with a woman (not always a good sign for me) and not the manager I had on the phone. To begin with - I am NOT a good interviewing candidate. My personality is just too much for a lot of people and as a result it really helps me NOT pass interviews with flying colors. I can't help that I have a lot of energy and am confident and "brutally honest" about things. At the same time it is very frustrating when you know you are ok with yourself and others are not. I hear people tell me that when they first meet me I was so not what they expected and when they tell me this the sad part is.......it's like they liked me better over the phone. The weird part for me is - if I lived in the NE, I wouldn't even be discussing this topic. I would fit in. But it is too cold there. :) So I know I did great on about half the interview - but I think I bombed the other half. You know, where they ask you about all of your shortcomings and how you overcame them and all the difficult people and situations you have ever worked with in your life. Yeah, not a strong suit. not because I don't overcome them - but well anyone who knows me can figure out where I am going with this. And there were a lot of those questions by the way.
The cool thing I noticed about MS however was that everyone has an office. Getting to the campus and navigating was easy enough, but once you were inside the building - it was like a maze of winding corridors that went all over the place and you needed a map to maneuver through. In the end, the fact I got to have an interview with MS was pretty exciting and neat and the job would be totally fine to do - but I don't know I got past this girl - which by the way was a pretty girl about my age and dressed up more for the interview than I even though people were wearing shorts all over campus on a 91 degree weather day in Seattle - which is hot for here BTW. So we shall see. I got another email from this Farmer's insurance guy saying my resume had once again passed his desk and to call him blah blah blah. I don't know. Insurance? me? Appeals in a certain way and doesn't in another. I think i should call the guy though - they say their agents make bank even in the first year and they provide office space and advertising.
So then bummed off my interview, my aunt decides to stop by and that was compounded by a change in certain hormone pills that were done in the last month which by the way resulted in a couple of boils on my face. Now let me tell you something - I have had acne since I was 10. I still have it. I do not feel I should be plagued by this issue at the age of 30, and I don't feel that I should have to take medication to be unplagued by it. And when my children unfortunately inherit this awful problem from me - I will do anything and everything I can to make their suffering and teasing be minimal. I hate it that bad. I hate it so much that the fact i have never had actual boils - FREAKED ME OUT. So needless to say my poor husband got the short end of the stick. Luckily he is a great guy and we worked through my shortcomings over the next couple of hours.
So then there is today......
Well I come in to work....at my job I love so dearly *sarcasm dripping*.....and well we sent out our monthly minimum fee invoice to about 1000 people last night and I have about 100 pissed off emails from customers and another 13 messages. So we get to address all these lovely people soon. I am sure it will bring more hate mail. Apparently one guy has already told us he will spend $5K to his lawyer to sue us for the $25.....yeah cause that makes sense.........so I get to deal with more negative vibes and more people canceling their accounts. People the Titanic is sinking and there is only one life boat left. And while I can swim, right now I feel like I am in the Bering Sea..........
Stay tuned......
My Tuesday -
It started off on a positive note. We were sending out the CSS email to a targeted list of 1000 people who had kids who were seniors this year. While our open rate was almost 20% and the click through rate was about 10%, we didn't get anyone to bite. But that does not mean the small campaign was not successful. To begin with, the open and click through rate was leaps and bounds better than average. One typically has a 1-3% click through rate so we were above that curve. And realistically, the first few times you start marketing - you usually don't get good responses - all about that power of branding. I don't feel bad nobody bit yet either since the web site needs to be redone - thank you Rob for helping a sis out! - and will be fixed by months end. As well as we are sure many people went home to consult with significant others and their kids. So we shall see if anyone bites over the next week. But I am still a little bummed.
Next came my interview with Microsoft. Yes I had an interview with them after passing a phone interview really well. The problem was I was interviewing with a woman (not always a good sign for me) and not the manager I had on the phone. To begin with - I am NOT a good interviewing candidate. My personality is just too much for a lot of people and as a result it really helps me NOT pass interviews with flying colors. I can't help that I have a lot of energy and am confident and "brutally honest" about things. At the same time it is very frustrating when you know you are ok with yourself and others are not. I hear people tell me that when they first meet me I was so not what they expected and when they tell me this the sad part is.......it's like they liked me better over the phone. The weird part for me is - if I lived in the NE, I wouldn't even be discussing this topic. I would fit in. But it is too cold there. :) So I know I did great on about half the interview - but I think I bombed the other half. You know, where they ask you about all of your shortcomings and how you overcame them and all the difficult people and situations you have ever worked with in your life. Yeah, not a strong suit. not because I don't overcome them - but well anyone who knows me can figure out where I am going with this. And there were a lot of those questions by the way.
The cool thing I noticed about MS however was that everyone has an office. Getting to the campus and navigating was easy enough, but once you were inside the building - it was like a maze of winding corridors that went all over the place and you needed a map to maneuver through. In the end, the fact I got to have an interview with MS was pretty exciting and neat and the job would be totally fine to do - but I don't know I got past this girl - which by the way was a pretty girl about my age and dressed up more for the interview than I even though people were wearing shorts all over campus on a 91 degree weather day in Seattle - which is hot for here BTW. So we shall see. I got another email from this Farmer's insurance guy saying my resume had once again passed his desk and to call him blah blah blah. I don't know. Insurance? me? Appeals in a certain way and doesn't in another. I think i should call the guy though - they say their agents make bank even in the first year and they provide office space and advertising.
So then bummed off my interview, my aunt decides to stop by and that was compounded by a change in certain hormone pills that were done in the last month which by the way resulted in a couple of boils on my face. Now let me tell you something - I have had acne since I was 10. I still have it. I do not feel I should be plagued by this issue at the age of 30, and I don't feel that I should have to take medication to be unplagued by it. And when my children unfortunately inherit this awful problem from me - I will do anything and everything I can to make their suffering and teasing be minimal. I hate it that bad. I hate it so much that the fact i have never had actual boils - FREAKED ME OUT. So needless to say my poor husband got the short end of the stick. Luckily he is a great guy and we worked through my shortcomings over the next couple of hours.
So then there is today......
Well I come in to work....at my job I love so dearly *sarcasm dripping*.....and well we sent out our monthly minimum fee invoice to about 1000 people last night and I have about 100 pissed off emails from customers and another 13 messages. So we get to address all these lovely people soon. I am sure it will bring more hate mail. Apparently one guy has already told us he will spend $5K to his lawyer to sue us for the $25.....yeah cause that makes sense.........so I get to deal with more negative vibes and more people canceling their accounts. People the Titanic is sinking and there is only one life boat left. And while I can swim, right now I feel like I am in the Bering Sea..........
Stay tuned......
Monday, July 02, 2007
Friday, June 29, 2007
Web Site Gone Wonky
So the good news of the day is that we got our 2nd customer!!!! SO we are now averaging one per month since the redesign of our business plan and web site on the limited advertising $$ we are using. However this is positive - it means a couple people are buying in to our concept.
The crazy thing is the visitor tallies. See graph for what I am talking about.
I knwo it is a little difficult to see, but the green and red on the bottom are the page views and the uniques vistors. The crazy spikes are repeat visitors (apparently). They range from in the 600's to the mid 100's. I don't get how that is but whatever.
Essentially I have 3 components left that I need to resolve in order to get to where I believe we will be accepted by a greater audience and have a higher return rate.
1. Better web site design - which my big brother is graciously helping me get to! Thanks Bro!
2. Online database and player profile management - which is the next step for me to do but I had some help with a developer and I think I am pointed in the right direction to getting that done....only issue is money - but I might be able to make it work.
3. Advertising money - this is actually the easiest. I have several ways to go about advertising and the first and cheapest will probably be email marketing lists to my target audience. I can get them for about $100 per 1000 and with a 1% expected return rate, that can get me the residual advertising $$$ needed to grow the business.
I'm close.......please send more positive karma our way so this will see the potential we need it to.
The crazy thing is the visitor tallies. See graph for what I am talking about.
I knwo it is a little difficult to see, but the green and red on the bottom are the page views and the uniques vistors. The crazy spikes are repeat visitors (apparently). They range from in the 600's to the mid 100's. I don't get how that is but whatever.
Essentially I have 3 components left that I need to resolve in order to get to where I believe we will be accepted by a greater audience and have a higher return rate.
1. Better web site design - which my big brother is graciously helping me get to! Thanks Bro!
2. Online database and player profile management - which is the next step for me to do but I had some help with a developer and I think I am pointed in the right direction to getting that done....only issue is money - but I might be able to make it work.
3. Advertising money - this is actually the easiest. I have several ways to go about advertising and the first and cheapest will probably be email marketing lists to my target audience. I can get them for about $100 per 1000 and with a 1% expected return rate, that can get me the residual advertising $$$ needed to grow the business.
I'm close.......please send more positive karma our way so this will see the potential we need it to.
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Yahoo Blunders! I am Standing on my Soapbox
So about a month ago Yahoo was doing a contest for small business owners that basically had us write in:
1. What our business was about,
2. What does our business need to be successful,
3. How can Yahoo make that a reality.
The prize was $25K in search mktg and a few other perks like meeting Ivanka trump and having an executive sponsor for a year. You also got some web site development and I think there was a small kitty of cash.
So I of course entered. Well.........I looked the other day after realizing I was probably not one of 5 finalists and what did I see? A BUNCH OF CRAP!!!!!!!!!!! I GOT ROBBED!!!!!! Of the 5 finalists - only one even had an interesting concept!!! AND it is clear that the rest of the world agreed with me because of how many votes the ONE guy got and how FEW the other schmucks got. And the contest is supposed to have 3 winners of the 5. So let's evaluate the losers that bypassed me:
1. Crooked Houses - the only good concept and he will win. Basically he makes customized easy to assemble playhouses that look like cartoon buildings - you know the slanted houses. I would even buy one if I had a kid. Go to his web site at www.crookedhouses.com (I think)
2. Willy Wonka - well that is basically what he is. He is a candy distributor. Now help me out here. The contest was to help people who NEEDED free marketing money to help make their business grow. yet this sap has like 5 full time employees and a freaking warehouse of candy - how the hell does he NEED extra money - he clearly is doing well enough already - oh and he has been in business for over 10 years. He was pretty whacked out like Gene Wilder in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory as well.
3. The Fairy Lady - OMG - have we reverted back to the 70's???? So this hippie chick makes customized fairies and fairy dresses and anything fairy wise. Don't get me wrong - her fairy stuff looks nice, but way specific AND there is a bigger problem with her concept. it is not easily scalable because it is she who makes all the fairies and it isn't something you can just hire more admin people to come in and do - which means that if she gets slammed - oh well everyone will be on back order until next year Christmas. Seriously people - is anyone having a fairy fetish???
4. Moms On Edge - RIPOFF Artists. So they have a couple of kids and watched Supernanny a couple times. Big freaking whoop. These two ladies first of all look like Stay Home moms whose husbands are doing well enough they don't have to work and secondly, they basically just hand make the Supernanny style things like a portable naughty spot and some bath blocks that are supposed to be smart blocks or something. Now, I have a friend who has a kid and last I checked, Baby Einstein has a whole line of intelligence for your kid stuff. So ...........I just don't get it, other than they are clearly trying to appeal to a demographic of moms and young kids. BOOOOO!
5. The over the top sony play station keyboard. Ok well it isn't a sony play station control - it just looks like one on steroids. But it is a keyboard that allows you to be walking on your treadmill and type at your computer.......yeah cause when i am working out, that's what I want to do - type on my keyboard. Oh and no....it is not wireless btw. Not yet - but NASA wants one when it is. People - if you thought carpal tunnel was out of hand before - wait til you see this contraption.
So one of my big soapboxes is the fact that MY business actually HELPS people. It helps people continue their education!!!!! I guess maybe I had "too noble" of a concept for them and it wasn't weird and cool enough. But that wasn't the point of the contest. I cannot believe that I got lower on the totem pole than these people. How did this happen other than the Yahoo committee being completely inept at their jobs and identifying good business concepts??? I was sooo pissed off, I had started writing my letter to Yahoo telling them how inept they are. I even had the executive I was going to send it to. But I calmed down about 72 hours later and instead decided to bitch here. :) How nice of me. I also accidentally voted for the crap moms one when I meant to click on the video for them and didn't want to be called on it by Yahoo if they looked into my account - but that's between you and me. :)
Ok .....I feel better now.
1. What our business was about,
2. What does our business need to be successful,
3. How can Yahoo make that a reality.
The prize was $25K in search mktg and a few other perks like meeting Ivanka trump and having an executive sponsor for a year. You also got some web site development and I think there was a small kitty of cash.
So I of course entered. Well.........I looked the other day after realizing I was probably not one of 5 finalists and what did I see? A BUNCH OF CRAP!!!!!!!!!!! I GOT ROBBED!!!!!! Of the 5 finalists - only one even had an interesting concept!!! AND it is clear that the rest of the world agreed with me because of how many votes the ONE guy got and how FEW the other schmucks got. And the contest is supposed to have 3 winners of the 5. So let's evaluate the losers that bypassed me:
1. Crooked Houses - the only good concept and he will win. Basically he makes customized easy to assemble playhouses that look like cartoon buildings - you know the slanted houses. I would even buy one if I had a kid. Go to his web site at www.crookedhouses.com (I think)
2. Willy Wonka - well that is basically what he is. He is a candy distributor. Now help me out here. The contest was to help people who NEEDED free marketing money to help make their business grow. yet this sap has like 5 full time employees and a freaking warehouse of candy - how the hell does he NEED extra money - he clearly is doing well enough already - oh and he has been in business for over 10 years. He was pretty whacked out like Gene Wilder in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory as well.
3. The Fairy Lady - OMG - have we reverted back to the 70's???? So this hippie chick makes customized fairies and fairy dresses and anything fairy wise. Don't get me wrong - her fairy stuff looks nice, but way specific AND there is a bigger problem with her concept. it is not easily scalable because it is she who makes all the fairies and it isn't something you can just hire more admin people to come in and do - which means that if she gets slammed - oh well everyone will be on back order until next year Christmas. Seriously people - is anyone having a fairy fetish???
4. Moms On Edge - RIPOFF Artists. So they have a couple of kids and watched Supernanny a couple times. Big freaking whoop. These two ladies first of all look like Stay Home moms whose husbands are doing well enough they don't have to work and secondly, they basically just hand make the Supernanny style things like a portable naughty spot and some bath blocks that are supposed to be smart blocks or something. Now, I have a friend who has a kid and last I checked, Baby Einstein has a whole line of intelligence for your kid stuff. So ...........I just don't get it, other than they are clearly trying to appeal to a demographic of moms and young kids. BOOOOO!
5. The over the top sony play station keyboard. Ok well it isn't a sony play station control - it just looks like one on steroids. But it is a keyboard that allows you to be walking on your treadmill and type at your computer.......yeah cause when i am working out, that's what I want to do - type on my keyboard. Oh and no....it is not wireless btw. Not yet - but NASA wants one when it is. People - if you thought carpal tunnel was out of hand before - wait til you see this contraption.
So one of my big soapboxes is the fact that MY business actually HELPS people. It helps people continue their education!!!!! I guess maybe I had "too noble" of a concept for them and it wasn't weird and cool enough. But that wasn't the point of the contest. I cannot believe that I got lower on the totem pole than these people. How did this happen other than the Yahoo committee being completely inept at their jobs and identifying good business concepts??? I was sooo pissed off, I had started writing my letter to Yahoo telling them how inept they are. I even had the executive I was going to send it to. But I calmed down about 72 hours later and instead decided to bitch here. :) How nice of me. I also accidentally voted for the crap moms one when I meant to click on the video for them and didn't want to be called on it by Yahoo if they looked into my account - but that's between you and me. :)
Ok .....I feel better now.
Saturday, June 16, 2007
I have a nephew!!!
My sister in law gave birth this AM to a beautiful baby boy named Gavin. Mom and baby are doing well and I am an Auntie again!! No pics yet.
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Groundhog day 880......
OMG
That really sums it up for me.
My job is the craziest thing. Really - it isn't crazy at all - it's just a mind warp. 2 and a half years ago i was lured to Seattle with a lots of money and stock options with the guise of an IPO happening.....oh about right now. So 3 months after I get heere the CEO decides he isn't going to spin the company off like he told me. So I wass like - well what about those options - those will just convert to options in the company I work for right? Well....he waffled.....the amount of those options don't compare and a year later he gives me a set of options NOT comparable to what I was originaly given. I mean people, one of thee reasons Tony and I moved here was because I thought I would be sitting on about $250K in stock right now. I mean, who turns down that kind of opportunity??? So for the last 2 years I have hated my job for many reasons. A few of which are:
- The boss doesn't give us or our product the time of day.Literarly.
- Everytime I come up with good ideas and present them....I am shot down....only to hear months or years later the same ideas out of other people or my boss.
- All the efforts to move forward with things have been underminded and people have been told to not listen to me.
- When I am being "real" and protecting the interests of the company by pointing out problem areass......I am being too negative.
- I have been cut out of meetings.
- If you loiter "too long" having a conversation with someone and one of a few managers see, you get the evil eye.
- I love having an office because there is no commotion in the office and you feel like you are in a tomb. Even the walls are thin...but they are better than in the cubes.
But hey....we have FREE drinks!!! LOL
So today we had a sit down with the big man - the one who hasn't given us the time of day for 5 years. And he basically wants to move forward by going backward 5 years later. I mean dude....the first thing you do is a business plan - where the hell was it 5 years ago? It amazes me how he can circle talk people into believing other people (of course no longer workign there) are the reason for the problems and where we are at today. Keep telling yourself that buddy! I mean he hasn't even sat down in 5 years and done a product review. But now he wants to do a business plan. He also wants to turn us into sales people and was talking about commissions and incentives and blah blah blah.....so then that had us thinking.....wait a minute, does that mean he is going to cut our salaries???????
Oh nelly. I just shake my head in a cloud of bewilderment. So as is I have now submitted my resume to Volt - who handles Microsfot staffing. I submitted my resume to a different Volt offices with a recruiter that I know. I have also submitted my resume to Microsfot directly for 13 different positions all in my realm. I don't care if someone laughs at me at the other end, maybe it will make them bring me in just to see who this character is. i want them to know I want to work there dammit. I am trying to jump off the cliff but I need someone to give me my parachute. I have lots of people tell me they think I am smart and I will be fine and such. And that gives me hope. But I don't interview well and I have difficulty getting to an interview stage as well. Not good combinations. I told Tony of all my employers once I work for them want me to stay or come back. I don't ever have that problem, it's just getting in the door for me. I guess part of it is I have a pretty strong aura - even when I try to tone it down I have a strong aura. I can't help it, that's me. But I do need someone to believe in me....someone that can offer me a job that is.
Please think lots of posititve juju my way.
~A
That really sums it up for me.
My job is the craziest thing. Really - it isn't crazy at all - it's just a mind warp. 2 and a half years ago i was lured to Seattle with a lots of money and stock options with the guise of an IPO happening.....oh about right now. So 3 months after I get heere the CEO decides he isn't going to spin the company off like he told me. So I wass like - well what about those options - those will just convert to options in the company I work for right? Well....he waffled.....the amount of those options don't compare and a year later he gives me a set of options NOT comparable to what I was originaly given. I mean people, one of thee reasons Tony and I moved here was because I thought I would be sitting on about $250K in stock right now. I mean, who turns down that kind of opportunity??? So for the last 2 years I have hated my job for many reasons. A few of which are:
- The boss doesn't give us or our product the time of day.Literarly.
- Everytime I come up with good ideas and present them....I am shot down....only to hear months or years later the same ideas out of other people or my boss.
- All the efforts to move forward with things have been underminded and people have been told to not listen to me.
- When I am being "real" and protecting the interests of the company by pointing out problem areass......I am being too negative.
- I have been cut out of meetings.
- If you loiter "too long" having a conversation with someone and one of a few managers see, you get the evil eye.
- I love having an office because there is no commotion in the office and you feel like you are in a tomb. Even the walls are thin...but they are better than in the cubes.
But hey....we have FREE drinks!!! LOL
So today we had a sit down with the big man - the one who hasn't given us the time of day for 5 years. And he basically wants to move forward by going backward 5 years later. I mean dude....the first thing you do is a business plan - where the hell was it 5 years ago? It amazes me how he can circle talk people into believing other people (of course no longer workign there) are the reason for the problems and where we are at today. Keep telling yourself that buddy! I mean he hasn't even sat down in 5 years and done a product review. But now he wants to do a business plan. He also wants to turn us into sales people and was talking about commissions and incentives and blah blah blah.....so then that had us thinking.....wait a minute, does that mean he is going to cut our salaries???????
Oh nelly. I just shake my head in a cloud of bewilderment. So as is I have now submitted my resume to Volt - who handles Microsfot staffing. I submitted my resume to a different Volt offices with a recruiter that I know. I have also submitted my resume to Microsfot directly for 13 different positions all in my realm. I don't care if someone laughs at me at the other end, maybe it will make them bring me in just to see who this character is. i want them to know I want to work there dammit. I am trying to jump off the cliff but I need someone to give me my parachute. I have lots of people tell me they think I am smart and I will be fine and such. And that gives me hope. But I don't interview well and I have difficulty getting to an interview stage as well. Not good combinations. I told Tony of all my employers once I work for them want me to stay or come back. I don't ever have that problem, it's just getting in the door for me. I guess part of it is I have a pretty strong aura - even when I try to tone it down I have a strong aura. I can't help it, that's me. But I do need someone to believe in me....someone that can offer me a job that is.
Please think lots of posititve juju my way.
~A
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
This really was a highlight of my day........
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO - Hope you rot in jail Princess!!!!!!
Friday, June 08, 2007
My Surgery
Well the good news is that my surgery seemed to be a good thing and when the doctor looked at my achilles and heel he saw the achilles was attached to the scar tissue which was attached to the bone - so he separated that. Apparently there was also a sharp jagged edge on my heel which he believes was also part of the problem so he removed that - along with a chunk of my heel bone. Apparently the docot r was so far happy with the results. He made a few lateral incisions in my achilles and cleaned out my achlles a little bit too and saw some blood which is good because it meant blood vessels were already active. I guess from the conversation Tony had with the doctor he asked if we should do this to the right one. As of right now I haven't ever had the tendonitis in my right one like the left one so I'm not so sure it will be necessary.
I am supposed to start doing some weight bearign on it but it makes me a little nervous to do so. So as a result I am really just hanging out and using my crutches. :) But all in all everything is good and TOny is being a great husband! He always is when I have a problem though. He did say that this time because people knew he was my husband that everyone was willing to talk to him vs when I had the appendectomy. Interesting little things of when you get married I guess.
I am supposed to start doing some weight bearign on it but it makes me a little nervous to do so. So as a result I am really just hanging out and using my crutches. :) But all in all everything is good and TOny is being a great husband! He always is when I have a problem though. He did say that this time because people knew he was my husband that everyone was willing to talk to him vs when I had the appendectomy. Interesting little things of when you get married I guess.
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
The DL.....that's The Down Load
Goodness gracious! A lot has happened in the past few weeks. We began our adventure by making sure the house was clean - cause I like to come home to a clean house. The fluffy bunnies had 2 litter boxes a piece and 2 feeder systems to make sure they could get by. All the doors were shut and propped open to ensure no kitties got locked behind anything (I did that once and Bagheera was stuck in a bathroom for 7 days - I felt like the worst mom).
Our drive to Colorado was easy - no weather except for some wind in various places. Beautiful sky and the cops weren't interested in us. :) Actually we went long stretches without seeing some. It was so great to see family and friends. The bridal shower was a good time and great snacky food. I had a lot of people there which made me feel loved. We had two little kids there and they both were amazingly well behaved. Tony was quite the hit with our niece Renya and she even popped off a "Tony" before he left. He's going to be a really good dad. It gave Angie and Rob a small breather of knowing she was ok and they could chat a little bit. We of course found them at one time in the bathroom with buckets and running water saying"buckets & splash". LOL I thinkt he cleanup was 4 towels all soaking up the water on the bathroom floor - LOL.
My bachelorette party - night on the college town of Ft Collins was fun. Me and 3 girls. I definitely was having quite the girl rowdy night for sure since I don't remember the last time I had a full out one of those. One of the bars we went to was called the drunken monkey and the bar stools were actually swings. The kind that you see in the country where it is a flat plank of wood with ropes on the sides going up into a tree. There were a few pictures from that! We got home (to the hotel) and I made good on my promise not to snuggle Staci! LOL
As we were almost to the Lodge we got diverted - and lost many a time - around an accident that apparently involved a rolloever, 3 ejections and a bike rider. We were able to see the wreckage from the Lodge and found out that it did NOT involve anyone inour wedding Party thank goodness and we are pretty sure no one died. I was hoping that would not be a sign of things to come. Luckily it was not. The groom's dinner came and the ambiance was nice and it appeared everyone had a good time. I had one meltdown the night of the wedding - but that was addressed and a resolution to my satisfaction has been agreed to as a result of the catalyst of the meltdown. The day of and I was running through all the paces when I realized - oh no Mr Bill, I forgot to coordinate the timing of the pictures with the flower lady. As a result I have pictures with my flowers and pictures without my flowers - so not the end of the world. She apparently got a speeding ticket trying to get to the Lodge as well -oopies.
My hair was perfect, my makeup was perfect and I didn't wake up with a big boil on my face I had been afraid would happen for years. The dress made me feel like a princess and I definitely felt the most beautiful and put together I have ever felt. The pictures so far are turnign out really well and my brother and his wife said the good pictures turned out "freakishly well" - which means they look great if they think that. here is an example of one and it wasn't even one of the ones off the good cameras.
The clouds got dark and the wind kicked in and my wedding was threatening to turn out not how I had hoped. But the wind only stayed for pictures and the sky broke open and it became blue, warm, and perfect for the ceremony. All the people I had hoped would show up that said they might not did. The flower girls were perfectly adorable in their perfect little dresses. Everyone acted how I hoped they would and in the end i couldn't have asked for a more perfect day and event. There were a few small snafu's but in the end it really didn't matter and I tried to just not make a big deal about them. The only thing I had really wished I could have done was mingle with more people during the groom's dinner and the reception. But you get in this whirl wind of you either have to eat or talk and you are doing an activity and then people are leaving and the DJ is trying to get you back on the dance floor and so I didn't get to spend the socializing time with everyone overall that I had wanted to.
But the views were awesome and it looked like everyone had a great time. The meal was good - even though Tony and I had to send ours back! The mashed potatoes were cold. LOL There were a lot of tears and tearing up - but all happy and joyous. I was so glad I got to see Tony before the wedding for pictures cause I think if I didn't - I would have lost it on the walk towards him and when I was looking at him during the ceremony - which I almost did anyway. The minister the day before had told us to hold hands and pass of my bouquet. When I got there I started to do so and she stopped me - no not yet. SO I stood there and after about 5 minutes I just couldn't take it anymore and realized I was about to lose it and sort of whipped back my bouquet to Staci. If words had been said it was probably pretty obvious it was like "Take this quick!" LOL She grabbed it and immediately I grabbed his hands which seemed to calm me. He smiled at me and later said it was clear "we are holding hands now". The 2 2year old flower girls of course did their X factor bit and started runnign around which was totally adorable.
Steamboat was good - went to the hot springs where I fell and bruised my tailbone. I thik I got a slight concusion too but I am fine now. We had our first Moretnson Classic putt putt contest which Mr Mortenson won - but that's ok, I'm going to sharpen my game and have a come back for next year!
We got home safely and the kitties were fine. Now it is back to the grind - but I will write about that later.
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
The Symbiotic Cycle of Life
Today a sad event occurred. Tony's great aunt Ethel passed away early this morning. She had been struggling with cancer and in the end, she managed to live through her 92nd birthday. Because of the timing, we will unfortunately be able to attedn her funeral.
As I think about all of this though I realize witht eh passing of an elderly loved one, will come another cycle - a marriage. And within about a week of that we expect to also be blessed by adding a new member to our family with a baby nephew. Quite the trifecta of life cycles to be occurring like this.
Our family is beginning and growing and in a couple years will be expanding ourselves. It seems the moms are getting excited for grandbabies. I guess I am starting to get a little excited for babies. But we have a wedding to go to first!
Spekaing of which, in about 26 hours, we are headed east. East to do our wedding duties and fun parties and events. East to see family and friends who are spending significant money and taking time out of their schedules to be there for Tony and I. It really is appreciated.
Until then - BON VOYAGE! Will see you when I get back!
~A
As I think about all of this though I realize witht eh passing of an elderly loved one, will come another cycle - a marriage. And within about a week of that we expect to also be blessed by adding a new member to our family with a baby nephew. Quite the trifecta of life cycles to be occurring like this.
Our family is beginning and growing and in a couple years will be expanding ourselves. It seems the moms are getting excited for grandbabies. I guess I am starting to get a little excited for babies. But we have a wedding to go to first!
Spekaing of which, in about 26 hours, we are headed east. East to do our wedding duties and fun parties and events. East to see family and friends who are spending significant money and taking time out of their schedules to be there for Tony and I. It really is appreciated.
Until then - BON VOYAGE! Will see you when I get back!
~A
Monday, May 21, 2007
7 days from today I become a Mrs.......
Holy crap Batman. 7 days from today and I will officially be married.
I would say I am no starting to be in full emotional mode. Waves a sweetness and tears when the song we will dance to is on the radio - which I have heard twice today and once yesterday. The tears are of course happy tears - they really are about the fullness of that moment. But I really do hate crying in general. SO I find myself loving the memory and idea dn getting pissed off beause I am crying and it isn't even THE moment yet.
Today I go get waxed. I won't share the Too Much Information bit with you - but it will be a new and interesting experience. Tomorrow we have a couple things to do - mainly laundry and packing and getting the car serviced. But I can tell you this - I am already checked out of work. I'm ready to be gone from here for the day and of course for longer than that but one thing at a time. I am grateful that there are no more things to buy and only one more box is showing up - today of course. :) I am ready for this journey that awaits Tony and I. The timeline is set and the adventures are about ready to start. Tony and I do road trips well together so the idea of being with him in a car for a 24 hour road trip split into two days - actually it is quite fun. We have had many a great talks on those kinds of trips and have been lucky enough not to even need the radio at points for hours on end. We've braved several scary weather moments while on the road and both look at each other after and go - that was close...moving on.
Of all the things I am not afraid of in getting married is being able to weather tough issues while married. I feel Tony and I have already weathered some tough life changing things and have been able to get through them just fine. Our communication is pretty good so we are usually pretty good about talking things through. I definitely don't think I have had cold feet at any point during this process. Now I am 30. If i was younger it might be a different story. But I feel ready and feel I have the right man. SO LET'S DO IT!!!!!!
Leaving in 48 hours from now.............
The Bride
I would say I am no starting to be in full emotional mode. Waves a sweetness and tears when the song we will dance to is on the radio - which I have heard twice today and once yesterday. The tears are of course happy tears - they really are about the fullness of that moment. But I really do hate crying in general. SO I find myself loving the memory and idea dn getting pissed off beause I am crying and it isn't even THE moment yet.
Today I go get waxed. I won't share the Too Much Information bit with you - but it will be a new and interesting experience. Tomorrow we have a couple things to do - mainly laundry and packing and getting the car serviced. But I can tell you this - I am already checked out of work. I'm ready to be gone from here for the day and of course for longer than that but one thing at a time. I am grateful that there are no more things to buy and only one more box is showing up - today of course. :) I am ready for this journey that awaits Tony and I. The timeline is set and the adventures are about ready to start. Tony and I do road trips well together so the idea of being with him in a car for a 24 hour road trip split into two days - actually it is quite fun. We have had many a great talks on those kinds of trips and have been lucky enough not to even need the radio at points for hours on end. We've braved several scary weather moments while on the road and both look at each other after and go - that was close...moving on.
Of all the things I am not afraid of in getting married is being able to weather tough issues while married. I feel Tony and I have already weathered some tough life changing things and have been able to get through them just fine. Our communication is pretty good so we are usually pretty good about talking things through. I definitely don't think I have had cold feet at any point during this process. Now I am 30. If i was younger it might be a different story. But I feel ready and feel I have the right man. SO LET'S DO IT!!!!!!
Leaving in 48 hours from now.............
The Bride
Thursday, May 17, 2007
The Collegiate Soccer Source
SO my good news of the day is..........my soccer business. Well actually Tony and I's soccer business. That in itself has been probably the most visible change in the whole - I'm getting married bit. Everything is now our, us, or we. There is no me, I or mine necessarily anymore. But you know, that is ok too - it's just a change in habit is all. So I should probably restart by saying......
So OUR soccer business :) seems to be trending upward. Well at least by hits to our site. I haven't changed the paltry advertising fee from before - just the advertising message. I find it funny that going from FREE Welcoem Kit to College Soccer Prep Kit (not free) has made MORE people interested. Sometimes it is weird how things work. I think more people must be skeptical of free things than just having to pay for something. LOL
So yesterday we hit an all time high. We had over 100 people hit our web site. Can you believe that????? My jaw fell open as it wasn't but a few days ago that we even had 50 visitors to our web site in a day - and that was also a record. We basically had been fluctuating in the teens and a couple times in the 20's for the past year. No purchases yet but I feel it coming! I definitely feel positive about the increase in traffic.
Keep your fingers crossed and send lots of positive juju our way! If this works out - I can say Bon Voyage to what I am currently doing and any job I might get in the future! I can feel it coming though. Tony told me the other night. He's either going to be laughing at me when we are 60 at all my "predictions" or he's going to be saying"good job!" LOL I hope it is the latter. :)
So OUR soccer business :) seems to be trending upward. Well at least by hits to our site. I haven't changed the paltry advertising fee from before - just the advertising message. I find it funny that going from FREE Welcoem Kit to College Soccer Prep Kit (not free) has made MORE people interested. Sometimes it is weird how things work. I think more people must be skeptical of free things than just having to pay for something. LOL
So yesterday we hit an all time high. We had over 100 people hit our web site. Can you believe that????? My jaw fell open as it wasn't but a few days ago that we even had 50 visitors to our web site in a day - and that was also a record. We basically had been fluctuating in the teens and a couple times in the 20's for the past year. No purchases yet but I feel it coming! I definitely feel positive about the increase in traffic.
Keep your fingers crossed and send lots of positive juju our way! If this works out - I can say Bon Voyage to what I am currently doing and any job I might get in the future! I can feel it coming though. Tony told me the other night. He's either going to be laughing at me when we are 60 at all my "predictions" or he's going to be saying"good job!" LOL I hope it is the latter. :)
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
We leave in a week
WOW!
I can't believe that at this time next week, the car will be getting packed up, we will watch the Champions League Final (cause we are a soccer family :) ) and then we will be hitting the road!!! And in 12 days we will be getting married!
I still have two boxes that have to come in before we can leave however! I have to finish up the slide show still and I have a few other things to do - all minor of course. I haven't even done a run through of my hair yet either! I scheduled the week before we leave apptmts and only have a couple finalizing on the seating arrangements and such.
I find it interesting that people are saying - I'll get to relax soon. I'm not quite sure when that moment is - I have a feeling it will be after we say our I Do's and are doing the receiving line. Cause I don't see how I can relax before that moment. I mean, I don't even know how I want the deck setup for the wedding and won't be able to figure that out until the Rehearsal! I have no idea how to time the music either. How is that relaxing?? The Lodge lady told me my layout of the reception room wouldn't work either because of some kitchen service doors - which I don't remember seeing when I was there but ok. I haven't been able to see where we are doing this event since January, so I am freaking out a little bit. Not that I think I have anything really to freak out about. I mean - the pope isn't showing up. So if something doesn't go right - oh well, I guess that is part of the unique wedding drama right?
The whole wedding thing also has me sitting there looking at the wedding industry and thinking - man some of these people really rip you off. The Chair covers - $3 a chair to rent for 24 hours and yet I think you can BUY chair covers for $7 a chair. The minister - I KNOW I am getting ripped off there - $275 - for about 30 minutes worth of work. The meal - $3 a filet to add the "temperature cooking option". Basically we are paying $3 a steak for the waiter to ask "how would you like your steak cooked?" And then the cook has to keep the steak on the grill longer. But with 55 steaks - HOW IS THAT REALLY HARD since everyone will be either medium rare or medium? I wanted to finagle the Lodge lady on that item - but I was able to get her to get rid of our second option of food - thereby cutting all the plate costs by $10. So basically I save $7 a plate anyway so I felt it was picking a fight. I really just wanted people to be able to drink more booze. :)
I think I am also getting antsy because I am SOOOOOO ready to get away from my job. Not that it is hard, taxing, or anything else for that matter. But the feeling of limbo is not particularly comforting. I am pretty sure i have a job for at least two weeks when I get back and realistically probably a month - so I'm not going to worry about it. But I am glad to get to see people I love and miss and am excited to have a good time.
I can't believe that at this time next week, the car will be getting packed up, we will watch the Champions League Final (cause we are a soccer family :) ) and then we will be hitting the road!!! And in 12 days we will be getting married!
I still have two boxes that have to come in before we can leave however! I have to finish up the slide show still and I have a few other things to do - all minor of course. I haven't even done a run through of my hair yet either! I scheduled the week before we leave apptmts and only have a couple finalizing on the seating arrangements and such.
I find it interesting that people are saying - I'll get to relax soon. I'm not quite sure when that moment is - I have a feeling it will be after we say our I Do's and are doing the receiving line. Cause I don't see how I can relax before that moment. I mean, I don't even know how I want the deck setup for the wedding and won't be able to figure that out until the Rehearsal! I have no idea how to time the music either. How is that relaxing?? The Lodge lady told me my layout of the reception room wouldn't work either because of some kitchen service doors - which I don't remember seeing when I was there but ok. I haven't been able to see where we are doing this event since January, so I am freaking out a little bit. Not that I think I have anything really to freak out about. I mean - the pope isn't showing up. So if something doesn't go right - oh well, I guess that is part of the unique wedding drama right?
The whole wedding thing also has me sitting there looking at the wedding industry and thinking - man some of these people really rip you off. The Chair covers - $3 a chair to rent for 24 hours and yet I think you can BUY chair covers for $7 a chair. The minister - I KNOW I am getting ripped off there - $275 - for about 30 minutes worth of work. The meal - $3 a filet to add the "temperature cooking option". Basically we are paying $3 a steak for the waiter to ask "how would you like your steak cooked?" And then the cook has to keep the steak on the grill longer. But with 55 steaks - HOW IS THAT REALLY HARD since everyone will be either medium rare or medium? I wanted to finagle the Lodge lady on that item - but I was able to get her to get rid of our second option of food - thereby cutting all the plate costs by $10. So basically I save $7 a plate anyway so I felt it was picking a fight. I really just wanted people to be able to drink more booze. :)
I think I am also getting antsy because I am SOOOOOO ready to get away from my job. Not that it is hard, taxing, or anything else for that matter. But the feeling of limbo is not particularly comforting. I am pretty sure i have a job for at least two weeks when I get back and realistically probably a month - so I'm not going to worry about it. But I am glad to get to see people I love and miss and am excited to have a good time.
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
My Achilles Heel - Literally
Wow - in the last couple of months, I have had a serious of body ailments. I have this thing with my wrist - unidentified pain is the actual diagnosis after multiple needle injections into my wrist and an MRI and Xray later. And even after the cortisone shot - I still feel there is something wrong. And all I did was hold a clip board.
A week ago some chick didn't like me very much in indoor - so she tripped me after I skinned her with the ball and then as I was falling she proceeded to shoved her forearm into my back and so I went face and shoulder first into the boards and then landed on my left arm fully extended......therefore hyper extending my elbow. it still isn't quite right yet. I can't fully extend it and I can't use it to the full extent yet either. But it is getting better.
Then for the past 2-3 weeks I have been having pain in my left Achilles heel. It is the same one as I tore 3 years ago and it hurts in the same spot I tore it and well it really had me nervous that i was going to tear it again. So I called the doctor and miraculously - because I was getting married and not going to be here for awhile - I got the doctor to come in and see me yesterday on his surgery day. So it turns out I have tendinitis (surprise surprise) in my Achilles. I also have patella tendinitis on my right knee but that should heal up with me laying off activity.
Back to the Achilles. SO the doctor wants to do surgery. He basically wants to cut a slice off the back of my heel bone, and then make some small lateral incisions in the Achilles tendon to promote some blood vessel growth which will promote circulation and healing. He says my heel one is a bit far back and that is rubbing against my tendon causing added pressure. Not that I am surprised after looking at my heel and someone else's yesterday. Not to mention I always get blisters on the back of my heels when I get new shoes - usually soccer shoes. So while this may not sound yummy to most, Tony and I think it is a good idea. With my Achilles the way they are, the tendinitis will never go away in my opinion and I don't think Tony thinks it will either. We also would prefer to see me do this when I a younger than older and we DON'T want to go through me tearing it again. That was a most unpleasant experience.
He told me to change my shoes to an open back with a heel lift so I have already got myself a few new pair of shoes. :) He does want me to ease up on soccer though. :( Luckily it is an outpatient surgery and I would only be on crutches for about 3-4 days. The time to heel is two weeks and then about 4 weeks of PT before I can jump back into activity. SO it isn't that bad. So we are looking to do this pretty soon after we get back from the wedding - insurance and to just move forward and get this done with.
I don't necessarily like the idea of a doctor removing bone from a particularly important area of my body - but so be it. And he seems to think this is the way to go from looking at the xrays. SO there you have it. I feel like if anything, the time I have had at this job has allowed me to get all my medical things out of the way - and that is a positive thing.
A week ago some chick didn't like me very much in indoor - so she tripped me after I skinned her with the ball and then as I was falling she proceeded to shoved her forearm into my back and so I went face and shoulder first into the boards and then landed on my left arm fully extended......therefore hyper extending my elbow. it still isn't quite right yet. I can't fully extend it and I can't use it to the full extent yet either. But it is getting better.
Then for the past 2-3 weeks I have been having pain in my left Achilles heel. It is the same one as I tore 3 years ago and it hurts in the same spot I tore it and well it really had me nervous that i was going to tear it again. So I called the doctor and miraculously - because I was getting married and not going to be here for awhile - I got the doctor to come in and see me yesterday on his surgery day. So it turns out I have tendinitis (surprise surprise) in my Achilles. I also have patella tendinitis on my right knee but that should heal up with me laying off activity.
Back to the Achilles. SO the doctor wants to do surgery. He basically wants to cut a slice off the back of my heel bone, and then make some small lateral incisions in the Achilles tendon to promote some blood vessel growth which will promote circulation and healing. He says my heel one is a bit far back and that is rubbing against my tendon causing added pressure. Not that I am surprised after looking at my heel and someone else's yesterday. Not to mention I always get blisters on the back of my heels when I get new shoes - usually soccer shoes. So while this may not sound yummy to most, Tony and I think it is a good idea. With my Achilles the way they are, the tendinitis will never go away in my opinion and I don't think Tony thinks it will either. We also would prefer to see me do this when I a younger than older and we DON'T want to go through me tearing it again. That was a most unpleasant experience.
He told me to change my shoes to an open back with a heel lift so I have already got myself a few new pair of shoes. :) He does want me to ease up on soccer though. :( Luckily it is an outpatient surgery and I would only be on crutches for about 3-4 days. The time to heel is two weeks and then about 4 weeks of PT before I can jump back into activity. SO it isn't that bad. So we are looking to do this pretty soon after we get back from the wedding - insurance and to just move forward and get this done with.
I don't necessarily like the idea of a doctor removing bone from a particularly important area of my body - but so be it. And he seems to think this is the way to go from looking at the xrays. SO there you have it. I feel like if anything, the time I have had at this job has allowed me to get all my medical things out of the way - and that is a positive thing.
Monday, May 14, 2007
My job in limbo
So we had an interesting conversation with our boss the other day. My bull sh*t meter was of course going off as I was being told this but my head really felt like it was surrounded in a cloud of confusion. I have noticed in the past when I have this sensation it is because usually someone is a step ahead of me in the game and I am either missing something in the picture or I am collecting all the pieces of the puzzle but they just haven't sorted themselves out yet in my head. SO I took the weekend to mull over what I was told. My bullsh*t meter is now of course blinking over into the red at this point.
Essentially my boss said that they are going to get rid of UI (graphics and marketing) and my boss in order to get rid of the salary. They are also going to get rid of some redudant server connections and technology stuff that we don't really "need" to operate and they are going to move us over into this office next door that we will share with two other people. When I say this I mean, they are moving me and the other girl working on the team to this space which has 4 offices and a conference room. Apparently the big man will be our new boss - in a limited capacity. There was talk of a possible sales person.
SO let's get this straight.
Essentially my boss said that they are going to get rid of UI (graphics and marketing) and my boss in order to get rid of the salary. They are also going to get rid of some redudant server connections and technology stuff that we don't really "need" to operate and they are going to move us over into this office next door that we will share with two other people. When I say this I mean, they are moving me and the other girl working on the team to this space which has 4 offices and a conference room. Apparently the big man will be our new boss - in a limited capacity. There was talk of a possible sales person.
SO let's get this straight.
- We are going to get rid of redudnat technologies
- We will have no marketing/design group to help us with marketing
- We tried the sales thing before and it didn;t work....why are we trying it again?
- We are moving out of sight out of mind essentially
- Our new fearless leader will be wrapped up with the purchase of the new company - and his consulting agreement, and apparently he has a new idea he is working on doing as well........so where is he leading us during all of this?
- We will have no technology development or technical support in the even tof systems failure. Ok we don't now either but that was a recent change.
- There still is no business plan
- My product will still be the red headed step child.
Is it just me or is the writing on the wall??
I really do feel that my boss guilted the ceo into keeping our jobs for a short stint because he felt guilty that I would be getting married and then he was going to cut my job - seeing as it was he that moved me out here. But you know, that is fine - just give me 3 months of severance and let me go collect unemployment. Because I really don't foresee him continuing the product line past August. I mean - seriously.
So as of right now my job is in limbo and because of that I am a bit in limbo. I know exactly what I want to do - but I don't know if I can accomplish it in the timeframe I have. That is the frustrating part. But I guess I will take the next two weeks to see if I can pull something off.
Friday, May 11, 2007
We forgot our anniversary - oopies
So last Sunday was Tony and I's three year anniversary. In the midst of all this hub bub - we both forgot. In fact, it wasn't until Momma Lori asked me the other day how long we had been together that I did the quick math and realized - oh we are in May. In fact we are just past our 3 year date! Oh boy - let's hope we don't forget our REAL anniversary moving forward. I don't think Tony has even thought of it yet. And the worst part is - I KEEP FORGETTING to tell him! I am sure he will have a little chuckle and say something witty in the end when I do get around to telling him.
I am sooo ready to get out of this place for a few days. It is absolutely BEAUTIFUL outside and has been for a week and I have some spring fever. Breck apparently got snow a few weeks ago and I guess now it is in a 10 day rain storm. I do have to say - we may need to get a few umbrellas - cause I'm not sure I am happy getting married in the reception room. I can handle the elements of weather - so can Tony. Maybe everyone could watch from inside if that is the case. But hopefully it is just raining now so it won't rain later......yeah that's what I keep telling myself............
I am sooo ready to get out of this place for a few days. It is absolutely BEAUTIFUL outside and has been for a week and I have some spring fever. Breck apparently got snow a few weeks ago and I guess now it is in a 10 day rain storm. I do have to say - we may need to get a few umbrellas - cause I'm not sure I am happy getting married in the reception room. I can handle the elements of weather - so can Tony. Maybe everyone could watch from inside if that is the case. But hopefully it is just raining now so it won't rain later......yeah that's what I keep telling myself............
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
The Paranoia Onset
I found an ever increasing onset of paranoia has hit me over the past 2 months.
I find myself in this mode of emailing or calling and if some people don't respond (even if I didn't ask a question) I start worrying that I did or said something to offend them. I get paranoid that I'm that bride whose bridesmaids and friends all hate her - although I only have evidence to the contrary. I find myself thinking the world is out to get me - althoug I know that isn't true. I find myself thinking i am supposed to be doing more than I am - although most people would probably like to give me a valium.
I find difficulty focusing. And yet I am going a million miles a minute most likely. I find myself starting to forget to do a menial task several times a week. I'm projecting this positive - I'm doing ok image - but I think my body is disagreeing. I find it difficult to eat much too which is a rare thing for me.
I keep telling myself - you are in charge of your destiny! And then I question if I am doing enough to ensure that or if I am focusing my priorities in the wrong places. Am I doing what I want in exchange for what I should be doing? I don't know. I know I am doing what my gut and my heart want, but my head sometimes tries to pull me in the other direction - the safer way. I'm not usually a risk taker and yet I feel like I am taking some risks when I don't have a safety blanket to do so. But then I hear the echoes of many great entrepreneurs and their stories of how - they were on their last dine, or they were eating mac and cheese for weeks when they finally saw the light and stuck to their guns and it worked for them. Google started out of a garage. Look at ebay. Martha Stewart was a housewife. Oprah was fat and unattractive and a B list actress. The Donald has been in the throes of losing it all. Jewell was homelss and playing guitar on the streets of LA. And there are countless other stories. Stories where no one believed and yet they pulled through. I guess the difference with me is I don't have anyone telling me they don't believe (at least not to my face). I actually have a lot of emotional support.
I know people are worried - hell I am worried. I believe in fate. I believe in myself. And i believe something is going to fall into place as it should - although I am not quite sure what, when or why I believe this. I have always believed in fate and yet I have always been a worrier not a believer. This time I believe more than I am worried. WHy? I'm not quite sure. I do know you have to make yoru destiny - and i am trying hard to do that. I know there are other things that I could be doing to increase my chances - but I feel those are gambles I am not sure I am prepared to take. They have consequences I don't know if I am smart enough to really understand yet. Maybe I should believe more in myself. But I guess I feel like there are too many balls above my head to figure it out right now. And yet I feel like that is just an excuse. But I do feel the goddess emerging. I do feel the strength within me.
This too shall pass............
I find myself in this mode of emailing or calling and if some people don't respond (even if I didn't ask a question) I start worrying that I did or said something to offend them. I get paranoid that I'm that bride whose bridesmaids and friends all hate her - although I only have evidence to the contrary. I find myself thinking the world is out to get me - althoug I know that isn't true. I find myself thinking i am supposed to be doing more than I am - although most people would probably like to give me a valium.
I find difficulty focusing. And yet I am going a million miles a minute most likely. I find myself starting to forget to do a menial task several times a week. I'm projecting this positive - I'm doing ok image - but I think my body is disagreeing. I find it difficult to eat much too which is a rare thing for me.
I keep telling myself - you are in charge of your destiny! And then I question if I am doing enough to ensure that or if I am focusing my priorities in the wrong places. Am I doing what I want in exchange for what I should be doing? I don't know. I know I am doing what my gut and my heart want, but my head sometimes tries to pull me in the other direction - the safer way. I'm not usually a risk taker and yet I feel like I am taking some risks when I don't have a safety blanket to do so. But then I hear the echoes of many great entrepreneurs and their stories of how - they were on their last dine, or they were eating mac and cheese for weeks when they finally saw the light and stuck to their guns and it worked for them. Google started out of a garage. Look at ebay. Martha Stewart was a housewife. Oprah was fat and unattractive and a B list actress. The Donald has been in the throes of losing it all. Jewell was homelss and playing guitar on the streets of LA. And there are countless other stories. Stories where no one believed and yet they pulled through. I guess the difference with me is I don't have anyone telling me they don't believe (at least not to my face). I actually have a lot of emotional support.
I know people are worried - hell I am worried. I believe in fate. I believe in myself. And i believe something is going to fall into place as it should - although I am not quite sure what, when or why I believe this. I have always believed in fate and yet I have always been a worrier not a believer. This time I believe more than I am worried. WHy? I'm not quite sure. I do know you have to make yoru destiny - and i am trying hard to do that. I know there are other things that I could be doing to increase my chances - but I feel those are gambles I am not sure I am prepared to take. They have consequences I don't know if I am smart enough to really understand yet. Maybe I should believe more in myself. But I guess I feel like there are too many balls above my head to figure it out right now. And yet I feel like that is just an excuse. But I do feel the goddess emerging. I do feel the strength within me.
This too shall pass............
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
I've hit the I'm so tired but I can't sleep phase
I have now entered the remaining 3 weeks before the wedding. But really - two weeks before I leave for the wedding! I am so glad I have done so much up to this point. Really I have some fianlizign to do but it is all coming together. I think I have one more set of things to purchase - but i can do that today. Actually I probably SHOULD do that today!!!
People keep asking - are you excited? no not yet. I will be excited though when I get in my car with Tony and drive away from here! :) At that point I can leave the whatever job behind. At that point the only possible thing left to do for the wedding might be the actual play by play bit - but I will have about 24 hours in a car to figure that out. LOL The wedding thing will become more of a reality than it has been too! And I will get to know I am on vacation - ok well it isn't really a vacation more like a work timeout but you get my drift. And I am really excited for the events of Saturday. I am excited to see my friends and family. I am excited to have a party. I love parties! I LOVE surprises! I love good food. And I get to have a girls night out - have only had a few of those since living in Washington. I know that once the Saturday begins - I should be having a good time and excited for the upcoming events.
However, the job thing has yet to really materialize so here I am dealing with some stress. I'm in a 'business as usal mode' while everyone else is in a 'holding pattern but good opportunities coming their way' mode. It's a little frustrating. We arne't doing any marketing - yet we are supposed to cross our little piggies and hope for an investor to come in and save the day.
There are a couple other little drama points - we won't bother with those here but as a result - I am SOOOOOOOOOOOO tired at night and yet I just can't fall asleep. My brain just won't shut off even though it is telling me - JUST PASS OUT WOMAN!!!!
I keep thinking of the job thing, I think of Tony's dying aunt, I think of the wedding, I think about our soccer team, I think about how I really don't like that stupid job and how can I get CSS off the ground faster. Then I think about my back hurting. Then fluffy bunny jumps on the bed and starts kneading me.
I drink Chai Tea Lattes now faithfully in the morning. Even now I want to go back home for a nap!Hmmmm, my boss is out of the office............
SO here I am - no matter if I have played soccer that night - actually makes my sleeping worse - I find myself up for hours after I play. I'm tired, trying to be cheerful and positive and push through the walls that I find are sort of growing up around me. I feel like I have this uphill battle that I know if I can just get to the top fo the rock - I can see the beautiful valleys and voila - I will be good to go. But until then, it is uphill. I've only cried once through this whole job thing which is good - and sort of unlike me.
I guess I am just determined through all this....I'm not going to let the b@stards get me down. I will persevere. I am strong, I can conquer all. Ok well that was the lack of sleep talking.
Until then I'm going to read about Drew Barrymore in my People.
People keep asking - are you excited? no not yet. I will be excited though when I get in my car with Tony and drive away from here! :) At that point I can leave the whatever job behind. At that point the only possible thing left to do for the wedding might be the actual play by play bit - but I will have about 24 hours in a car to figure that out. LOL The wedding thing will become more of a reality than it has been too! And I will get to know I am on vacation - ok well it isn't really a vacation more like a work timeout but you get my drift. And I am really excited for the events of Saturday. I am excited to see my friends and family. I am excited to have a party. I love parties! I LOVE surprises! I love good food. And I get to have a girls night out - have only had a few of those since living in Washington. I know that once the Saturday begins - I should be having a good time and excited for the upcoming events.
However, the job thing has yet to really materialize so here I am dealing with some stress. I'm in a 'business as usal mode' while everyone else is in a 'holding pattern but good opportunities coming their way' mode. It's a little frustrating. We arne't doing any marketing - yet we are supposed to cross our little piggies and hope for an investor to come in and save the day.
There are a couple other little drama points - we won't bother with those here but as a result - I am SOOOOOOOOOOOO tired at night and yet I just can't fall asleep. My brain just won't shut off even though it is telling me - JUST PASS OUT WOMAN!!!!
I keep thinking of the job thing, I think of Tony's dying aunt, I think of the wedding, I think about our soccer team, I think about how I really don't like that stupid job and how can I get CSS off the ground faster. Then I think about my back hurting. Then fluffy bunny jumps on the bed and starts kneading me.
I drink Chai Tea Lattes now faithfully in the morning. Even now I want to go back home for a nap!Hmmmm, my boss is out of the office............
SO here I am - no matter if I have played soccer that night - actually makes my sleeping worse - I find myself up for hours after I play. I'm tired, trying to be cheerful and positive and push through the walls that I find are sort of growing up around me. I feel like I have this uphill battle that I know if I can just get to the top fo the rock - I can see the beautiful valleys and voila - I will be good to go. But until then, it is uphill. I've only cried once through this whole job thing which is good - and sort of unlike me.
I guess I am just determined through all this....I'm not going to let the b@stards get me down. I will persevere. I am strong, I can conquer all. Ok well that was the lack of sleep talking.
Until then I'm going to read about Drew Barrymore in my People.
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