With the conclusion of the EuroCup now behind us - go Spain and the yummy Spanish boys! Torres, Fabregas and Ramos - mmmmmmmm.....sorry I digress.....
Statement from Germany's Keeper now retiring (and good riddance you whiny arrogant tantrum induced athlete)
"Lehmann, who tried to speak to Rosetti (the match official) after the final whistle, said: 'He was very arrogant and in my opinion he was biased. "
Uh yeah, cause your whole career has your character up on a white pedestal......
Monday, June 30, 2008
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Life as a Youth Soccer Coach
I find myself many times wondering lots of things with respect to parents and players and also other former players that coach or did coach and their reasons for no longer coaching and you know what the reason always is for quitting as a youth coach?
The Parents
Yes I know, I am telling you this so that all of my beloved friends and family who have young children, don't get caught up in the crap that you so desperately want to for your spawn.
Last night as I was taking off my cleats after my women's game, two women were chatting about coaching and this is how the discussion went.
Amy, are you still coaching?
No, I don't coach anymore.
Did you stop coaching after your daughter graduated high school?
No, I only coached for 5 years. Won State, went to Regionals, but it was the parents that I had had enough of.
Oh I know what you mean, I could only do it for a year and the parents were too much for me.
Yeah, I I had enough when after we went to Regionals the parents thought we should bring in paid trainers to coach the team. Like everything I had done now all of a sudden wasn't good enough. And they were just average players - yet the parents thought they were amazing.
Now let me tell you something - these two players - they could ball. And if the one lady got them to Regionals - then she knew something about how to coach as well. Yet another example of parents sabotaging the soccer regime. And it is harder for women, cause you got to take an attitude even with grown men of "I don't care what you think." And then be able to move on. I remember several times in my first couple years in dealing with the bullshit, that I thought I was done. I had had enough. I was done with the lying by the players, the misinformation to the parents, the wrong assumptions by parents, the temper tantrums and back stabbing. Oh yeah - I got some fun stories. And yet in the end, I have endured. The irony is, since moving to Washington, I haven't had to be the one dealing with the full pressure - T has. Yet the fact we are able to team up and be a united front and discuss things - has helped the two of us. For example, let me tell you one of our latest interesting stories. And I hope you all learn from this....
One of our players (who has a great disposition btw) has a bad knee. A year ago she had surgery on it to repair a torn meniscus. Well I guess the knee didn't heal as hoped and now she has quite a bit of pain. In the end, the doctor basically advised her that she should just play through the pain and really, just tear the damn thing all the way through so they can do a clean repair. Interesting advice for a 14 year old but whatever. Well so the pain started a few weeks ago. She didn't practice one week, and then the next week leading up to our weekend tournament, she practiced sporadically and was not able to finish a training session. As it turns out, we had a keeper situation for this tournament. Our primary keeper was gone, the backup had a hand injury, and we tried to get a couple guest keepers but no dice. So the Thursday before our tournament, we advise our player that she is going to be the keeper part time, but that she is NOT going to play on the field. We discuss her knee with her and that we want to see her playing in full training sessions before we throw her into the mixer. But that she was good enough to at least be the keeper for the weekend. Another girl whose knee was iffy was also going to share the duties, but it appears that she was ok come tournament time. So after the first game, the player did really well in the goal. So we decided to continue playing her there since we were short players for the tournament, and that she could fill this void for us. We explain this to her - and she is good to go. We also explained to her that we are not looking to make her the keeper for the team and that we do look at her as a field player and that is what the focus for her will be after the tournament.
So we leave thinking - everything is ok. The player was totally fine, totally understood and we went our separate ways. Well then we get the email on Monday from mommy. Now let me tell you - we actually have had a pretty good relationship with the family for the past several years, so we found this to be a little interesting. So the mom states she is writing on behalf of her family. Remember that line because it is key. Then she goes on to express how bummed out her daughter was about playing keeper and that of course she wants to be a team player but then goes on about not understanding why she had to play there the whole time and that she thought she would be sharing keeper responsibilities and that we should do a better job of explaining the expectations and possibilities to her.
Absorb that in now.
Ok good, well so what do we do? We of course sent an email back to the parents explaining everything and that the information was communicated to her daughter and that her daughter was only ever going to play Keeper in the tournament, the question was simply half time and then sit on the bench or full time and someone else can play in the field. We have a rule that you have to be match fit in order to play and you have to be able to play through training sessions in order to play. This is not Rec soccer. We talk to the player at practice yesterday as remember, the mother said she was writing on behalf of her family - which includes her daughter. And you don't really think we are going to allow a pink elephant between the player and the coach like that do you? It turns out to begin with, the player did not know her mother even wrote the email, turns out the player was notably embarrassed that her mother did write an email and when informed of what was stated in the email. Even further was that the response we shared with the parent - was not communicated to the player. So we threw the mom under the bus with her kid and told her to go home and tell her mom to show her both the email she sent to us and also our response. To which the player said she would. Now remember these girls are now 14 and entering their freshman year of high school. Some of which will be 15 very soon. So the whole - mom you are now embarrassing me movement is starting to be in full force and will only increase substantially this year. Trust me - I not only remember from my youth, but I have seen this in a couple coaching cycles now.
So the beautiful thing about this was, momma and daddy bear were pissed caused they didn't get to see baby bear where she normally plays and they got freaked out that we were going to turn her into the goalie for the team and thus the email.
A lesson to you all, it is not necessary for you to fight your children's battles. If they do not learn how to navigate the waters of adversity, they will not learn to deal with it on their own. And the irony is,in this situation, the mother got her hands burnt by the coaches, made to feel dumb by illustrating that we had communicated expectations to the player (the player simply hadn't communicated that to the parents and quite honestly - the player doesn't have to) and then got her hands burnt by her daughter once the unknown secret was out. If that is the outcome that you are willing to incur as a parent - then by all means, go fight your kids battles. But parents need to take a step back and realize that this is their kids path and their kids choice and their kids decision on how to deal with things. And no, they aren't going to always make the right decision or know how to deal with things, but then the role of the parent is not to step in on behalf of the child, the role of the parent is to discuss with the child how they should deal with the situation. And then let the child go down their path and learn how to be strong and independent.
My parents did not fight my battles for me going back to as young as I can remember. And what I realized in my adult hood is that they were preparing me for life. They were preparing me for the realization that things are not always fair or just. People get away with things they shouldn't and it is how you deal with it that matters the most. In looking back, I am just fine that my parents didn't fight my battles for me. Could they have on a couple of things - yes and as a kid I may have wanted them to, but in the end, I also realized something very important - I never told them I wanted them to fight my battles, and it is a toss up over whether they would have stepped in or not anyway if I had. I have found too many times in my adult life - that I have had to stand up on my own two feet against the world. And if my parents had stepped in and tried to fight my battles for me as a child, I would not have the strength nor the courage to have stood up for myself in the adult world - when I so desperately needed to in order to defend my character and integrity.
In two years these children will be driving cars - operating what some could perceive as a deadly weapon and required to make wise choices. In 4 years they will be considered adults and held accountable for their actions by the world. By this age they have already passed 2/3 of their youth years. So how are you going to prep your child for their adult life? We hear stories of parents calling collegiate coaches to complain about things regarding their adult children and we think - wow, what gives you the right to think you even have a voice now? It is these moments that parents have to cut the umbilical cord. One that should have been cut a long long time ago.
The Parents
Yes I know, I am telling you this so that all of my beloved friends and family who have young children, don't get caught up in the crap that you so desperately want to for your spawn.
Last night as I was taking off my cleats after my women's game, two women were chatting about coaching and this is how the discussion went.
Amy, are you still coaching?
No, I don't coach anymore.
Did you stop coaching after your daughter graduated high school?
No, I only coached for 5 years. Won State, went to Regionals, but it was the parents that I had had enough of.
Oh I know what you mean, I could only do it for a year and the parents were too much for me.
Yeah, I I had enough when after we went to Regionals the parents thought we should bring in paid trainers to coach the team. Like everything I had done now all of a sudden wasn't good enough. And they were just average players - yet the parents thought they were amazing.
Now let me tell you something - these two players - they could ball. And if the one lady got them to Regionals - then she knew something about how to coach as well. Yet another example of parents sabotaging the soccer regime. And it is harder for women, cause you got to take an attitude even with grown men of "I don't care what you think." And then be able to move on. I remember several times in my first couple years in dealing with the bullshit, that I thought I was done. I had had enough. I was done with the lying by the players, the misinformation to the parents, the wrong assumptions by parents, the temper tantrums and back stabbing. Oh yeah - I got some fun stories. And yet in the end, I have endured. The irony is, since moving to Washington, I haven't had to be the one dealing with the full pressure - T has. Yet the fact we are able to team up and be a united front and discuss things - has helped the two of us. For example, let me tell you one of our latest interesting stories. And I hope you all learn from this....
One of our players (who has a great disposition btw) has a bad knee. A year ago she had surgery on it to repair a torn meniscus. Well I guess the knee didn't heal as hoped and now she has quite a bit of pain. In the end, the doctor basically advised her that she should just play through the pain and really, just tear the damn thing all the way through so they can do a clean repair. Interesting advice for a 14 year old but whatever. Well so the pain started a few weeks ago. She didn't practice one week, and then the next week leading up to our weekend tournament, she practiced sporadically and was not able to finish a training session. As it turns out, we had a keeper situation for this tournament. Our primary keeper was gone, the backup had a hand injury, and we tried to get a couple guest keepers but no dice. So the Thursday before our tournament, we advise our player that she is going to be the keeper part time, but that she is NOT going to play on the field. We discuss her knee with her and that we want to see her playing in full training sessions before we throw her into the mixer. But that she was good enough to at least be the keeper for the weekend. Another girl whose knee was iffy was also going to share the duties, but it appears that she was ok come tournament time. So after the first game, the player did really well in the goal. So we decided to continue playing her there since we were short players for the tournament, and that she could fill this void for us. We explain this to her - and she is good to go. We also explained to her that we are not looking to make her the keeper for the team and that we do look at her as a field player and that is what the focus for her will be after the tournament.
So we leave thinking - everything is ok. The player was totally fine, totally understood and we went our separate ways. Well then we get the email on Monday from mommy. Now let me tell you - we actually have had a pretty good relationship with the family for the past several years, so we found this to be a little interesting. So the mom states she is writing on behalf of her family. Remember that line because it is key. Then she goes on to express how bummed out her daughter was about playing keeper and that of course she wants to be a team player but then goes on about not understanding why she had to play there the whole time and that she thought she would be sharing keeper responsibilities and that we should do a better job of explaining the expectations and possibilities to her.
Absorb that in now.
Ok good, well so what do we do? We of course sent an email back to the parents explaining everything and that the information was communicated to her daughter and that her daughter was only ever going to play Keeper in the tournament, the question was simply half time and then sit on the bench or full time and someone else can play in the field. We have a rule that you have to be match fit in order to play and you have to be able to play through training sessions in order to play. This is not Rec soccer. We talk to the player at practice yesterday as remember, the mother said she was writing on behalf of her family - which includes her daughter. And you don't really think we are going to allow a pink elephant between the player and the coach like that do you? It turns out to begin with, the player did not know her mother even wrote the email, turns out the player was notably embarrassed that her mother did write an email and when informed of what was stated in the email. Even further was that the response we shared with the parent - was not communicated to the player. So we threw the mom under the bus with her kid and told her to go home and tell her mom to show her both the email she sent to us and also our response. To which the player said she would. Now remember these girls are now 14 and entering their freshman year of high school. Some of which will be 15 very soon. So the whole - mom you are now embarrassing me movement is starting to be in full force and will only increase substantially this year. Trust me - I not only remember from my youth, but I have seen this in a couple coaching cycles now.
So the beautiful thing about this was, momma and daddy bear were pissed caused they didn't get to see baby bear where she normally plays and they got freaked out that we were going to turn her into the goalie for the team and thus the email.
A lesson to you all, it is not necessary for you to fight your children's battles. If they do not learn how to navigate the waters of adversity, they will not learn to deal with it on their own. And the irony is,in this situation, the mother got her hands burnt by the coaches, made to feel dumb by illustrating that we had communicated expectations to the player (the player simply hadn't communicated that to the parents and quite honestly - the player doesn't have to) and then got her hands burnt by her daughter once the unknown secret was out. If that is the outcome that you are willing to incur as a parent - then by all means, go fight your kids battles. But parents need to take a step back and realize that this is their kids path and their kids choice and their kids decision on how to deal with things. And no, they aren't going to always make the right decision or know how to deal with things, but then the role of the parent is not to step in on behalf of the child, the role of the parent is to discuss with the child how they should deal with the situation. And then let the child go down their path and learn how to be strong and independent.
My parents did not fight my battles for me going back to as young as I can remember. And what I realized in my adult hood is that they were preparing me for life. They were preparing me for the realization that things are not always fair or just. People get away with things they shouldn't and it is how you deal with it that matters the most. In looking back, I am just fine that my parents didn't fight my battles for me. Could they have on a couple of things - yes and as a kid I may have wanted them to, but in the end, I also realized something very important - I never told them I wanted them to fight my battles, and it is a toss up over whether they would have stepped in or not anyway if I had. I have found too many times in my adult life - that I have had to stand up on my own two feet against the world. And if my parents had stepped in and tried to fight my battles for me as a child, I would not have the strength nor the courage to have stood up for myself in the adult world - when I so desperately needed to in order to defend my character and integrity.
In two years these children will be driving cars - operating what some could perceive as a deadly weapon and required to make wise choices. In 4 years they will be considered adults and held accountable for their actions by the world. By this age they have already passed 2/3 of their youth years. So how are you going to prep your child for their adult life? We hear stories of parents calling collegiate coaches to complain about things regarding their adult children and we think - wow, what gives you the right to think you even have a voice now? It is these moments that parents have to cut the umbilical cord. One that should have been cut a long long time ago.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Proud of the Fam
Here is a paper written by my younger sis who is currently getting her Master's in Ag Science - I am sure she has a specific major but I just don't remember at the moment. I know it isn't an exciting topic - but I sure am proud regardless...
Bekah's Paper Here
Bekah's Paper Here
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
My Life as a Customer Service Rep
Due to the absence of my coworker for maternity leave, I have had to step in and fill her role which is handling all of my company's customer service functions. Let's just say that I hate doing Customer Service.
So far in the past couple of weeks, to name a few things.... I have been:
- yelled at (via email) - because they expected me to jump to a task for them like I was a slave
- spoke down to (because of their lack of understanding)
- been threatened with legal action - he was a judge who couldn't remember he gave his credit card info to someone for an $8.25 transaction,
- and called a liar when it was she who was lying to me and I could prove it.....and of course I did prove it because I am a right fighter. However I gave her a credit because my boss didn't want bad press regardless.
I find it so hard sometimes in these situation to keep my cool and find a way to tactfully dissect the situation to find a resolution. The great thing is though - I am sending almost everything through email. I can resolve a situation in at least half the time it takes when I have to get on the phone with a customer. And it lets me know what I am dealing with before I deal with it. So far I think people are getting the hint. :)
Little do they know they are dealing with the A train...............
So far in the past couple of weeks, to name a few things.... I have been:
- yelled at (via email) - because they expected me to jump to a task for them like I was a slave
- spoke down to (because of their lack of understanding)
- been threatened with legal action - he was a judge who couldn't remember he gave his credit card info to someone for an $8.25 transaction,
- and called a liar when it was she who was lying to me and I could prove it.....and of course I did prove it because I am a right fighter. However I gave her a credit because my boss didn't want bad press regardless.
I find it so hard sometimes in these situation to keep my cool and find a way to tactfully dissect the situation to find a resolution. The great thing is though - I am sending almost everything through email. I can resolve a situation in at least half the time it takes when I have to get on the phone with a customer. And it lets me know what I am dealing with before I deal with it. So far I think people are getting the hint. :)
Little do they know they are dealing with the A train...............
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Smackdown: Mortgage Lesson 102
You have heard me rant and rave about my industry: mortgage.
And I think I have even told you how I made sure we were good with the mortgage on our house and we got a HELOC (home equity line of credit) in order to supplement and grow our business. Well I received notification from Chase (our lender) yesterday that they have shut down our HELOC due to making sure "homeowners are not borrowing more than their home is worth."
Now I agree with that principle - but what I don't agree with is how they came to determine that I am upside down and borrowing more than my home is worth. Well they used funny math. You know....the kind only used by financial institutions that the rest of us say - well that does not make sense. So here is what happened. They deemed that I was $30K in the hole already due to my current LTV (Loan to Value which is 80% of the home value)for both my first and second mortgage and therefore shut me down. But here is the kicker. Based on their automated valuation - I actually am $42 THOUSAND in the CLEAR!!!
1. What I mean by that is, if you take the amount of my first mortgage, add the LOC to that for a total.
2. Then take that total and subtract it against the value of the home - that means I have $42K in EQUITY before anyone needs to start panicking!!!!
And yet I am $30K in the hole according to their math. So how they arrived at their math was this:
1. They took the value of my home, multiplied it by 80% to equal my LTV. Then they said - well you are already in the red.
2. Then they took my LOC and added that to my 80% - making me more in the red.
I hate them. I hate them all. This basically has temporarily shut down my CSS business until we can figure out what our next move is. I can not tell you how pissed off I am at all this.
So lesson to you - know how they do the funny math. And you wonder why I hate this industry so much.
And I think I have even told you how I made sure we were good with the mortgage on our house and we got a HELOC (home equity line of credit) in order to supplement and grow our business. Well I received notification from Chase (our lender) yesterday that they have shut down our HELOC due to making sure "homeowners are not borrowing more than their home is worth."
Now I agree with that principle - but what I don't agree with is how they came to determine that I am upside down and borrowing more than my home is worth. Well they used funny math. You know....the kind only used by financial institutions that the rest of us say - well that does not make sense. So here is what happened. They deemed that I was $30K in the hole already due to my current LTV (Loan to Value which is 80% of the home value)for both my first and second mortgage and therefore shut me down. But here is the kicker. Based on their automated valuation - I actually am $42 THOUSAND in the CLEAR!!!
1. What I mean by that is, if you take the amount of my first mortgage, add the LOC to that for a total.
2. Then take that total and subtract it against the value of the home - that means I have $42K in EQUITY before anyone needs to start panicking!!!!
And yet I am $30K in the hole according to their math. So how they arrived at their math was this:
1. They took the value of my home, multiplied it by 80% to equal my LTV. Then they said - well you are already in the red.
2. Then they took my LOC and added that to my 80% - making me more in the red.
I hate them. I hate them all. This basically has temporarily shut down my CSS business until we can figure out what our next move is. I can not tell you how pissed off I am at all this.
So lesson to you - know how they do the funny math. And you wonder why I hate this industry so much.
Saturday, June 14, 2008
And this is why I love it so...
Tomorrow the US begins World Cup Qualifying for the 2010 World Cup. A long time to go and a lot of results needed to get to compete in one of the world's most impressive tournaments. The magnitude this game has - known as the people's game - brings with it an innate sense of pride and joy in one's country. One that many times we as Americans have funnelled our views simply to our domestic sports leagues.
But there is a whole crop of men from our country that seek to represent us on a stage packed with fierce competition. Often not being victorious as our European or South American counterparts. Our men weather adversity that we aren't familiar with in our day to day lives. And while we can feel confident of safe passage and enjoyment at a sporting event here, that is not the case in the rest of the world. Eleven men are picked to battle it out among the best in the world. Team, confidence, trust and pride mean everything in overcoming these challenges. And with that - I leave you a really good video - GO USA!
But there is a whole crop of men from our country that seek to represent us on a stage packed with fierce competition. Often not being victorious as our European or South American counterparts. Our men weather adversity that we aren't familiar with in our day to day lives. And while we can feel confident of safe passage and enjoyment at a sporting event here, that is not the case in the rest of the world. Eleven men are picked to battle it out among the best in the world. Team, confidence, trust and pride mean everything in overcoming these challenges. And with that - I leave you a really good video - GO USA!
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Jumping Up and Down
So the most exciting news of my week is that my husband just walked by Michael Bradley at the Home Depot Center. He was 6 feet away from him. And because my husband is so cool what did he do for his wife? He took a picture of him (albeit from behind but who cares) and then he called me to tell me about it. Need a reminder of my perfect young honey?
And it looks like young Michael is headed to the English Premier League for next season with a supposed $6 million transfer fee to Middlesborough. Now, that isn't quite confirmed yet but they are the highest bidder. This means that in theory - I could watch every one of his games next year since I get the EPL games. I had to suffer through waiting for the Dutch highlights every week this last year to see 5 minutes of play. That was a bit torturous but I learned about the Dutch League in the process. The only question I have is, how many matches will I have to wait before I see him play.....until then, I get all summer long to watch him in international friendlies, world cup qualifiers, and the Olympics. Ohhh it is a good summer for me.
And it looks like young Michael is headed to the English Premier League for next season with a supposed $6 million transfer fee to Middlesborough. Now, that isn't quite confirmed yet but they are the highest bidder. This means that in theory - I could watch every one of his games next year since I get the EPL games. I had to suffer through waiting for the Dutch highlights every week this last year to see 5 minutes of play. That was a bit torturous but I learned about the Dutch League in the process. The only question I have is, how many matches will I have to wait before I see him play.....until then, I get all summer long to watch him in international friendlies, world cup qualifiers, and the Olympics. Ohhh it is a good summer for me.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Bad Bad Mommy
While all around me people are either having babies or have babies or toddlers, I am only a mom to my two kitties. Thank goodness too - I'm doing good with the very low key game plan we have going on here. And it is in these moments that I find myself going - that wasn't very smart. Then I say - I'm glad it was only my cat and not my child I oopsed!
What was I doing you ask?
Having an Athena moment is what I was doing. It is the other half of my sauvant side. LOL
So my precious Bambarelli is a beautiful (I'm not biased or anything btw) and fluffy like a bunny cat. Her hair is long and fine so it easily matts up and it becomes a problem for her. So I am a little tenacious with her and these matts and especially since I hate the matts...... but she hates the scissors. So I have to entice her with petting in order to sucker her into cutting her hair off. So as I was focusing on distracting her, I cut a matt off the side of her cheek. I had to do it at a pretty funny angle though cause I was multi tasking. Now I didn't think much of it until I pulled the glob of hair away and her head turned and the light behind her showed me something funny.......well....it's kind of funny now.....
I cut off all the whiskers on her right side. :/
You can barely tell in the picture - but those stubs you see - its not the angle - look at the other side. I cut 4 inches of all her whiskers off. And when you look at her now - she looks lopsided - and she just looks at me like, "aren't you going to pet me mommy?"
What was I doing you ask?
Having an Athena moment is what I was doing. It is the other half of my sauvant side. LOL
So my precious Bambarelli is a beautiful (I'm not biased or anything btw) and fluffy like a bunny cat. Her hair is long and fine so it easily matts up and it becomes a problem for her. So I am a little tenacious with her and these matts and especially since I hate the matts...... but she hates the scissors. So I have to entice her with petting in order to sucker her into cutting her hair off. So as I was focusing on distracting her, I cut a matt off the side of her cheek. I had to do it at a pretty funny angle though cause I was multi tasking. Now I didn't think much of it until I pulled the glob of hair away and her head turned and the light behind her showed me something funny.......well....it's kind of funny now.....
I cut off all the whiskers on her right side. :/
You can barely tell in the picture - but those stubs you see - its not the angle - look at the other side. I cut 4 inches of all her whiskers off. And when you look at her now - she looks lopsided - and she just looks at me like, "aren't you going to pet me mommy?"
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)