Jumping Up and Down!!

Here is the US's World Cup draw - SWEET!!!!! We can make it through!!!! And how cool to have the England matchup?!?!?!? Man we dodged a bullet.


England
United States
Algeria
Slovenia

3 months of reflection

As my baby lay sleeping in his crib, I have taken a few moments to look back on my initial jump into mommy hood and have some thoughts now that I have come out of the fog.

Regarding all the "stuff" that you need upon having a baby.....

Best gizmo --> the wipe warmer - but the Munchkin brand. If you have a boy - warm wipes are essential - unless you enjoy having him pee on you.

Glad I didn't purchase --> the diaper genie - would have been such a waste - and probably would have grossed out my husband with the diaper sausage.

Best toy --> he loves his bug chair Auntie Sarah got him. It's a morning ritual now and he can entertain himself for over 30 minutes sitting in his chair looking at his bugs.

Biggest disappointment --> the bottle warmer. I truly think this is because of the kind of bottles I use and also how I do my bottles - which I had no clue before I had Logan. I use the drop ins and those just don't work well with the warmer. I also use purified water - and I don't batch my formula, so warming the bottle only really comes in handy when I have made a couple bottles cause we are going out - and then he didn't use them and I don't want to waste the formula. For some reason I thought you warmed the bottle because they needed warm fluid - but the temperate bottle is just fine.

Happy surprise --> logan sleeping through the night at 6 weeks. The reality is - I don't know how we got him to do it, I just know that he did. So if I had a second - which I am not doing - I know that baby would NOT sleep through the night for me. LOL

Biggest surprise - how fast he has grown. I kinda thought babies were supposed to be bumps on a log for a few months - but I have realized that is not the case. And my baby is so big now, at 3 months - he only fits into pj's that are 9 months. You think I am kidding> He's almost doubled his birth weight and I am getting ready to buy him stage 3 diapers.

My happy place --> that is probably a tie, I love both seeing my son cuddled on his daddy and when he smiles at me

The biggest thought always in the forefront of my mind --> constant adaptation, what may work today may not work tomorrow and vice versa.

What I am thankful for --> a healthy baby of course! But beyond that, medicine that will allow me to heal, so my son will not know an impaired mommy.....and all the things that go along with that

As to how he is progressing - he is right on track baby! I can't tell you how glad I am that he seems to be good to go on the development side. And mom and dad both have a routine down with him which rocks. However, we just switched him to the fast flow nipple - which he is doing great on! But that means we have another 15 minutes or so extra we now have to entertain him with - and that has seemed a little difficult at the moment. I can't tell you how many times we have said - come on leepy baby - you need to go to sleep. :) And he of course does not look like a leepy baby. I also think we are very soon now going to have to use all those dumb straps that chairs and such come with - he's doing the straight legged grunting slide down the chair thing. That and constantly putting his hands in his mouth - apparently we are at the discovery stage.

Hi, My name is Athena Mortenson and I (feel like I) am an addict.....

Well ok not quite but that was my experience yesterday at the doctor.

So I finally got to the point where I can start taking my miracle medicine to help me battle my AS. It's been over a year since diagnosed so this has been quite the wait. I had to have a TB test - negative, and blood work done - that was horrific, and pre-authorization from the insurance company - nothing like having to have faith in your insurance company.

So the drug I have to take is a weekly injection........for the rest of my life. And that is ok - because I am supposed to feel like a new/normal person again. The drug will combat my disease, make me feel better and then my body will start to heal itself - thank god!

So all things were a go and I had to go to a teaching session to learn how to give the self administered injection - oh great says the girl who hates needles. At one point she asks me if I am coming down with anything or think I am - to which I completely lied and said - no, I feel fine. That morning I woke up with the beginning of a sore throat but was like - I am not backing out of this, I have waited too long. The nurse was real nice and very informative and in the end here is how it pretty much went down.

We got to the point of teaching and I thought - I got it! I can do it in my abdomen and that will be great because I have some fat hanging out (compliments of the baby) and I have a dead zone where nerves were severed as a result of the c-section which means I can stab myself without feeling it! Sweet!!!

No dice. She tells me right before we do this that first she teaches to do it in the thigh and then once you get comfortable with your self injections she suggests moving to the abdomen. But then, she throws the bomb out there - I can't inject it within an inch of....a scar, mole, freckle...yes she really said freckle.......or stretch mark. :O

What?????? No, no, no, no. I think. Are you serious? Yes she said.

I'm screwed!!!! Why you ask? That would be because my beautiful son did a lovely number on my body and my stomach has so many stretch marks on it that it looks like the labyrinth from the Shining. Seriously - it's almost as bad as Kate Gosselin's stomach was when she had 6 kids! So she takes a look and goes - oh no, you won't be able to inject on your abdomen.

Dammit Jim!

So now on to the injecting. At first it doesn't look so bad -the needle isn't that long - only about 3/4 of an inch - until she tells me I have to stick the whole thing in my leg. Oh excuse me........dart the needle into the fat tissue. THEN, I have to pull the plunger back to see if there is a blood swirl that comes into the syringe. Yummy!!!!! Starting to feel like all of those junkies you see on the show Intervention. After that you then have to count to 5 and PLUNGE the burning medication into your leg.

SO how did I do? Well I first had to take a small timeout after I had the needle ready to dart myself - I needed a small (second) pep talk with myself first. Then after I grossed myself out with pulling up on the plunger - no blood swirl and usually there won't be one apparently, I then had to plunge the fluid in to my leg at which point I turned my head because it is just too much that I am injecting anything into myself. Not to mention I was trying to count to 5 but I wasn't pushing the medicine in fast enough and then she tries to push the needle back down because I apparently was letting off the pressure.

Gee, I can't imagine why.

But in the end - I gave myself the shot and we are supposed to start feeling better in about a week or two. And fully feeling better by week 6. So we shall see how I feel around New Years. Right now, I will just settle for a good night's sleep.

My Two Favorite People

Does it really get any cuter than this?

Here are my boys at the MLS Cup Final last night. Logan loved it! I think the confetti tripped him out the most.

I'm still bummed Real won. But that has more to do with the Utah/Mormon aspect than anything else.

Innovation

I don't know why but my son loves his owl mobile in his swing and hates his teddy bear mobile above his crib. But what does he love to look at while wiggling on his back in his crib? That would be the soccer balls hanging above the crib under the shelf. SO much that een if he is at a bad angle - he will crane his neck backward in order to stare at them.

Ironically one day my husband pulled the balls off the nail they were hanging on to which Logan started screaming - so he immediately put them back - and Logan stopped and was happy again. However, I came home to find this - and to which Logan now looks at with happiness when he is wiggling in his crib. It was an interesting moment as I was both extremely proud of my husband for coming up with something so simple that made sense for our little guy, and yet found myself thinking - why did "I" not come up with this idea? As if my all knowing super mommy powers had failed me. LOL

Rookie Mommy Part II

Today was the first day I tried to cut Logan’s finger nails. You see where this is going don’t you?

So I was humming along and thinking it was all going quite well. And I was really excited because I had been doing the filing thing up to this point and it was kind of pissing me off. First of all - it only sort of worked. I would kind of get some nail filed and then I would have to wait for it to rip part way off on its own in order for me to then rip it off the full way. And Logan hated the file on his fingers.

Anywho.....I picked him up off the changing table, went to the couch, sat down and started to give him his bottle when I looked down and saw all this red stuff on my white shirt. What is that? And then I realize he has it all over his pj and some on his bib. And then I realize.................... I screwed up. I nicked his finger and it is bleeding! AAAAAGGGHHHHHH!!!

So of course I do a mini mom freak out and pull the bottle out and rush him back to the changing pad to figure out which finger it was – it was his thumb. And it just would not stop bleeding. I was like – it’s not that freaking big of a nick – wtf??? SO I tried putting pressure on it with a wet baby wash cloth – no dice. I tried putting a band aid on it – what a cluster f*ck. Trying to put a band aid first of all on any thumb is a hard thing to do - never mind a baby thumb where he is still doing the thumb squeeze next to the index finger and some spastic hand movements (and kicking your stomach in the process). It's the equivalent of trying to drink something while on a roller coaster ride - just doesn't work.

Finally a couple band aids later I was able to get a smaller band aid on it and dropped some Neosporin in the top – to which it still continued to bleed for another 5 minutes and I eventually had to put a new band aid on as well. Ironically Logan seemed totally fine throughout all of this and was looking at me more like – what’s wrong mommy? I am trying to not freak out so I don’t freak him out but of course I am freaked out and frustrated at myself and frustrated that his finger wouldn’t stop bleeding. I mean - didn't they give him that Vitamin K shot at the hospital to help with blood clotting? That would be handy right about now to start kicking in. I know it was just a little nick on the finger and I am quite sure that just about every mommy has done the same thing at some point with their small one. So I was able to move on from this issue - more so because he was not screaming or crying at me and making me feel like the worst mommy ever.

My New Outlook

Welcome to Mommyhood

Well I could have probably named the post about a million different things like for Shits and (no) Giggles, but it still seemed appropriate. So today I went back to the clinic to get my glucose test results back from my fasting the other day to see if i still have diabetes. Turns out i DON'T!! THANK GOD!!!!!! In fact my 2 hour glucose test was better than my fasting result. And my Vitamin D test was one of the best she had ever seen. Now on to the shit story.

So because I knew this little trip was going to be pretty short, I almost didn't bring the diaper bag. I mean he was going to be in the car most of the time. And they had wanted me to bring Logan so they could see him. And being a mommy - I wanted to show my baby boy off. However, the first problem was, I had to wake Logan up from a nap -and he was content in that nap too. Then I had to change his clothes - cause I had to make him look cuter than he was. Then I had to put him in the car seat - which he hates.

As I was backing out of the driveway, my lioness ears heard a noise. "Did he just shit his pants?" I thought. No - he already had a poopy diaper this morning. And he never poops more than once outside of 15 minutes and never more than once a day. But even if he did, I thought - it was probably just a small one - although those farts sounded pretty good. So we drive along and of course he starts to cry which is a bit off cause he usually is pretty good in the car once I start driving - my mommy instinct kicked in and I thought - I think he is sitting in his poop. He calms down a bit until we get to the hospital. Then he starts up again. To complicate matters - i couldn't get the stupid car seat out of the car when I got there which meant he was crying longer. Finally I get to the clinic but tell the front desk lady - I think he has a dirty diaper - can I go change that first? Because of course - changing him meant taking longer and being late for the appointment. So for the first time i was going to use a bathroom changing table.

Logan hated it. It was definitely not soft and warm like the ones he has at home. As I take off his pants, I look around the back and realize - OH MY GOD. Not only did he shit his pants - he shit through his onesie. And Logan is crying. So I am puling out the onesie (good thing that was in the diaper bag) to change him into and pull out the diaper, the wipes, the vinyl changing pad and the disposable baggies to put the poopy diaper in. But here is the rub, as I was trying to wipe his butt and back off - the poop kept creeping up his backside. And I realized - I have to get this stupid onesie off.

How the hell am I supposed to get this pooped on onesie off and over his head without smearing his head in it? OMG. And let me paint you a better picture. This isn't no solid poop diaper or where the onesie has just a little bit of poop on it. This was a full diarrhea style poopy diaper that by the time I was done had covered about a 3x4 inch area on his backside. So as i am trying to think if I can physically tear this sucker off with my two hands meanwhile Logan is screaming at this point, I'm realizing - I can't. So I take the onesie and kind of wipe the liquid poo off the back and tuck it under and start rolling it under. Then I get the front of it over the top of his head and now Logan is just a little pooey. Big breath.

Many wipes later my son has a new diaper, a new onesie and his pants and jacket back on. Meanwhile I am looking at this poopy soaked onesie and saying to myself what the fuck am I supposed to do with this? Insert continuously crying baby while I am trying to process this. Now my husband - he would have thrown it away. Or maybe even thrown it in a plastic baggie - but eventually thrown it away. But in my moment I kept thinking - this is still one of the few onesies he can still fit into - I don't want to throw it away. But realizing that means I have to now take it home and do the rinse out, scrub off and then wash. So that is what I do. And let me tell you - that is soooooo not a fun chore to do. By the time I got around to washing and scrubbing it out - the poo covered almost all of the backside of the onesie. However, the washer has gotten the residual poo and the poo stain OUT. Whew.

So when I got home I put Logan in the tubby for a bath, reclothed and diapered and fed him 6 ounces and then he passed out.

New Mommy Lesson:
I will never leave home without the diaper bag - no matter what. And I will always have that diaper bag stocked with everything you could possibly need.

Can you say....

WE'RE GOING TO SOUTH AFRICA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Summer 2010 - Last night the US boys got it done in Honduras by winning 3-2. It was a crazy second half but who cares - we have booked our place! Now we just have to look like we can compete.

Those Soft Baby Cheeks

Is there really anything sweeter than kissing your baby's soft adorable cheeks? Man I love baby skin.

It's now been the last couple days that Logan has looked at me and given me a smile. Like he knows I am momma.

But man - does he really need to be awake for hours on end? Mommy only has so much know how on how to keep a baby that can't play entertained.

And he is getting so big now even after one month that his enormous feet are stretching his little pj footies! Oh no! Looks like he is going to be in bigger clothes sooner than the 3 month mark. He's a healthy little one! That's for sure - you can tell just by looking at those plump cheeks and fingers!

I can't believe my little guy is almost three weeks old. And yet - I totally can. After the first two weeks I finally felt like I was coming out of a bit of a baby fog. Not that my multi tasking self had it all figured out and was up and at em, but I was able to physically function a little better, was able to start getting a hang of this mom thing, and just getting to a good place with my new family unit. After having him be a pretty darn good baby for the first couple of weeks - we then pulled the trigger and said to hell with breast feeding. And really - I can't tell you how much happier I feel. So much that the crying immediately went down by 50-75%. Now I typically am only crying when I see something on TV that is talking about a parent losing their child. That sends me over the edge. But for the most part - I am doing pretty good. I've lost 30 pounds already. Have 20 more to go to make pre-pregnancy weight, and then ideally I want to lose an additional 20 to get to my ideal weight. We shall see how this all happens.

My son has given me my first real life lesson (not that I didn't know these were coming) that what Mommy wants Logan to have may not be what Logan wants. As a result, we went through some growing pains with the formula I wanted him on and as a result - it did not seem to have a good effect on him. So we changed formula - and the sky seems to have opened and the sun is now shining on us once again.

Rookie parenting and tricks mommy is learning.
When i say rookie parenting - it is all minor stuff that really isn't that big of a deal, but has you thinking - I should probably be a bit smarter about that. Like the first time Logan decided to pee outside his diaper. I sat there watching it like a deer in headlights. The second time I put a wipe on his weeny as a reflex only to remember the doctor said not to do that on the new circumcision cause it might burn. Or the time that as I was carrying the poopy diaper to the trash can I realized I had it practically shoved in his face. Yum. Or one of the first bottles that Tony put together - he realized after the act that he had down the measuring wrong. And one time he had a cap inside the bottle that prevented it from letting the formula out - so as a result he sat there in the middle of the night feeding Logan air for about 20 minutes. You would have thought Logan would have squawked or something but nope - he kept trying to suck that air down. LOL Or how about when you go to the store only to realize you bought the wrong size diapers? We've done that a couple times now.

One of our tricks we have learned is that he loves to be hot! SO much that if we want to crib him - we have to put a heating pad on his mattress to warm it up so when we put him down - he doesn't wake up (and stay awake). He loves to have his arms out and about - so we tuck the blanket under his arms. Half the time we see him sleeping with his arms above his head.

After going out a couple times now - we know now why there is so many pockets in the diaper bag! We forgot a blanket ......and clothes.........LOL

The Universe Has Changed

My life is now forever changed by the arrival of my little man. While newborns initially drop their weight and then start to gain it back - I can tell you that my little man is quite the voracious eater. SO much that he gained a pound and grew an inch in about 10 days. What a little piggy. LOL At least he is eating well. I can't imagine being a parent in Africa with a starving baby you know you can't feed. That would tear at every last emotion I had. I feel very fortunate that my little guy has arrived into a home that is warm and safe, where he is loved, fed and cared for. I'm excited to see his little face change over the coming months.

There are already things he does that we can tell take after one of us. Like he twitches in his sleep like some fine art expressionist - just like his momma. He stretches his legs and arms when he is waking up from sleep just like daddy does. He has the most intense expression usually when feeding that we aren't sure what that is all about. he furrows his brows together and just stares at you intensely. When I look at him - the top half of his face looks like Tony and the bottom half looks like me - we'll see how much that changes. He has his moms lips and arms - he has baby guns already - LOL. He has Tony's long legs - not to mention big feet, long long toes and fingers. I can't believe how long his toes are actually. Tony likens them to Michael Phelps feet they are so big. And well both T and I have a massive widow's peak so he got that too.

All in all - we are doing pretty good here. We of course have a couple funny things we deal with - like the floppy head syndrome and accidentally not supporting it at key moments. And constantly wishing we had a third arm to reach that thing that is only like 12 inches from the hand you can't use. Getting peed on has been quite the experience, or hell, even just changing the diaper to put a new one on to immediately have Logan crap or pee in the new one. Ok - do over! You find your self thinking. Or the - you can't possibly still be hungry concept after devouring more food than you think is possible to fit in his stomach and intestines. But he can prove us wrong - well sort of. Usually in that scenario - we find ourself wasting formula because he really only wanted like a half ounce more. Oh well - I guess it really isn't the end of the world.

Here we go!

Water broke at 3:30 this AM - en route to l'hopital!

Status Check:

Still Incubating. 5 days left until they induce me. I feel like my body has been playing tricks on me for days now.

So with 5 days left until I am officially a mom, here are my thoughts on a few things.

Thoughts That Were Validated During Pregnancy

My body was not meant to make and carry babies.

I did not enjoy being pregnant. I remember a woman once telling me she hated being pregnant. At the time I thought - wow - someone who was actually honest. Well I can honestly tell you - I did not enjoy being pregnant at all. I will be very glad to have my little bundle once he is here - but no, I did not enjoy this and am not looking to repeat the experience. One and done.

Surrogates are angels in my opinion, but l think they must be a little off in the head.

I still really do not like needles. And I really did not like feeling like a human pin cushion.

That Tony and I’s approach to my pregnancy and diligence with the plan worked out to our favor.

I really did marry a loyal, loving, supportive and dedicated man.


Things That Were Discovered

I don’t want to live the rest of my life without cereal. Or Jamba Juice.

Diabetes to any degree is a big deal - especially when you factor in the psychological perspective of having your options taken away from you.

Making a 7 month pregnant woman fast for 12 hours and have 4 vials of blood removed over time is a cruel thing to do to a person.

You can never underestimate the ability for milk or yogurt to quell heartburn.

You can never value enough the ability to have use of a thumb in order to use a tool.

Not all pregnant women experience what you did. Be careful what you share for fear of embarrassment.

That whole “you can eat what you want during pregnancy” - total myth. Just ask every gestational diabetic.

That my circle of family and friends while in many ways is quite small, seemed very large at times I needed it.

There still really are witch doctors - they just have a business license these days and wear khakis.


Silver Linings

Although only discovered at the local Walgreens a week from delivering, Lipton’s Diet Green Tea with Citrus may have just shot to a top three favorite drink of mine. And only because of the diabetes, did I even try it.

Splenda actually dissolves better than sugar in iced tea and so I probably will continue to use it when ordering out.

My back being in complete lockdown mode meant that no nerves were getting pinched - past month 5 that is.

My facial skin has been virtually acne free and it is the one thing that has made me feel good about my body changes.

The diabetes meant I had to have non-stress tests which meant I got to hear Baby Mort's heart activity twice a week for the last few months.

I haven’t bled out of my tata for MONTHS!!!

I haven’t had to worry about birth control.

Soon I will get to start taking the miracle drug for my back. Of course it is one of those prescriptions that they advertise on TV where all the side effects don’t sound pleasant...


Things That Bewilder Me

That the human body can defy the laws of gravity and physics for 10 solid months with no rest.

How is it that natural things like orange juice and milk can be worse for you than taking a pill?

How a diet soda can be better for you than milk?


Pre Labor Thoughts on Labor and Birthing

I’m not scared. My whole life the idea of actually birthing a child was horrifying to me. And the closer I get to labor, the less scared I become and the more determined I feel to get this over with. That it is one day in my life. And the pain is not due to an injury. I want my body back. Or at least some degree of it. I want to feel a semblance of ok.

I just don’t know how I feel about that epidural though. I remember my dad saying to me when I was about 15 or so - you can either have 5 minutes of pain or 24 hours - which do you want? And I remember thinking - the needle. Give me the needle. But that was before dealing with all of the back pain I have had. And to think there is chance that I could have a third pain as a result of the epidural - its almost too much for me to handle - especially when I think of billions of women that haven’t had the opportunity to have one. However, I fully realize that I may just become the world’s biggest baby during labor and have another change of mind.

I guess we will find out in 5 days or less....

I'm still incubating

That is currently how I feel. Like a pregnant bird sitting on an egg waiting for it to hatch. However, I know I only have a week left. So that is a silver lining. That and I am officially done with work for awhile.

And to add to the below post......

This from US sports journalist that was at the game.....

MEXICO CITY – The man with the tri-colored mohawk took a swig of beer, stuck his fingers down his throat and vomited the mixture back into his cup. In the next seat another man, who was wearing a T-shirt with a cartoon drawing of the decapitated heads of Barack Obama and Landon Donovan, poured out what remained of the Corona beer he had been chugging and urinated into his cardboard drinks container.

Then, according to a neutral bystander who witnessed these disgusting acts, the pair stood on their seats, high-fived and hurled their vile concoctions in the direction of Donovan, the United States men’s national team star who was preparing to take a corner kick 15 yards away.

Welcome to the Estadio Azteca, where allegedly projecting bodily fluids at another human being is acceptable in the name of soccer fanaticism.

And this is why I don't like Mexicans

Here is one picture where it shows Landon Donovan getting pelted with beer cups as he is trying to take a corner kick. He actually got hit by about 5 cups as he was taking the kick and the Mexican riot squad had to put up barriers behind him so he could take the kick.



The US lost yesterday in their World Cup Qualifier against Mexico in the Azteca stadium 2-1. While the US is still in contention for qualifying, it would have been nice if we would have won there as the US has never won in Azteca. 7,000 feet above sea level, with smog and heat. Yumm - sounds like a good time doesn't it?

And here is Benny Feilheber getting choked by a Mexican player (and who didn't even get a card which he should have been ejected) after trying to defend Charlie Davies who had been fouled and was lying on the ground and a group of mexicans were trying to rough him up and pull him up on his feet by his neck.

Happy Birthday Michael!

The young pup is 22 today.

For the US this year.....



In his German Club gear...

Now THIS is what I call heat!

This would be the thermostat of INSIDE my house. Yes that is right - it says we are cooking at 89 degrees in here (we don't have AC). So all those times that people said - oh how are you handling this heat when it was a calming 77 degrees OUTSIDE and only 72 inside......I was like - this is not heat. You people have no idea what hot is.

THIS is what I consider heat. It was 100 degrees outside today which apparently is a new record for Seattle. Now I am laughing (kinda) about being 9 months pregnant in the summer. It does make it difficult to sleep at night - but since I don't sleep anymore anyway, it doesn't much matter to me.....



And explain to me how he can possibly think this is comfortable? Yet we find him doing stuff like this all the time.

The Abortion of the Female Sport of Soccer and why it most likely will fail if we continue this path of thought

Soccer by Daisy (as my husband calls it)

My latest rant comes on the heels of three topics that are dumb founding. The first being that it took 15 weeks into a season for a team in the Women's Professional Soccer league to make a come from behind win. 15 weeks. That's pathetic. What is even more pathetic is this coach making the following statement....

"It's not just physical. It's psychological," Sol coach Abner Rogers said Monday via telephone. "Let's face it, even with most men's teams in the world, a lot of games are decided if a team scores first. It's just so hard to come back."

Are you serious? Now I'm not saying that the majority of games played result in something other than the first team who scores not winning, but in just about every men's league (and I would even go so far as to say every male sport) in the world on a weekly basis there is a team that has a come from behind win. In fact that is one of the joys of watching sport. The utter faith and belief that just because your team is down - does not mean it is out. I have even seen games (including a champions league final) where a team has gone down three goals only to come back and tie or win it. Something that is extremely rare. But it is all about heart and commitment. As a coach I have always told player that if one team can knock in 3 goals in a half - that we can knock in three goals in the second half. But to hear those words above come from a so called professional coach especially when the team in question was only down ONE FREAKING GOAL.......it makes me shake my head in frustration. Is this the best quality coach they could have secured? You would never hear a men's coach make a statement like that unless you were down 3 goals or more. And usually, the coach will make the statement of - well we got caught out of position on the first two and the last one was just a brilliant goal that couldn't have been stopped. Please tell me there are more intelligent coaches that are wiling to coach in the WPS?

So now we get on to my second point of the night. *sigh*

St. Louis' win over the Sol was not without some controversy, as a play between Marta and Athletica defender Kendall Fletcher drew some attention. In the 70th minute, Marta earned a yellow card for something that happened between her and Fletcher. Tony Hubert, the Athletica's director of media relations and radio play-by-play man, described it as a "chest bump with intent to hurt" on the radio broadcast and called for a red card.

The two sides seem to disagree on just what happened. WPS and the Athletica say the incident was not caught on videotape since it occurred with the ball out of bounds after Marta and Fletcher worked to win a ball in the air (the game wasn't on TV, so there was just one camera filming it).

"Kendall Fletcher was just getting in [Marta's] head and on her tight all game long," said Ellertson via telephone. "They went up for a header and the ball went out of bounds and Marta didn't win it. She turns around and just chest-bumps Kendall out of frustration. It's clear retaliation."

"I know that our team has been known to be too physical and they've been pretty hard on us. But a play like that -- if it were our team, we woulda got a red card and we woulda had somebody out of the game. But I think the referee just didn't man up and make that call. She got a yellow, so at least she got something, I guess. I saw it right there. It was pretty crazy. I was really surprised that Marta kinda went there. Clear retaliation."

Athletica players felt that Marta gave Kendall Fletcher an unnecessary shove.
Rogers said he didn't see the incident clearly, but that it wasn't that bad. "I know the fourth official was right there. They barely touched. Kendall made a big deal of it and their bench was very, very vocal," said Rogers. "I know Marta was upset and the reason she was upset was because Kendall made such a big deal out of nothing. ... It was nothing. I spoke to the fourth official afterwards. It was very brief. He saw nothing. He was right there, couldn't have been more than 12 feet away."

BIG FUCKING DEAL. This shit happens in EVERY single men's game there is. It was a caution - which it should have been - and so what? Are we now magically not allowed to have emotions when playing a soccer match? Are we not allowed to get pissed off when a player has been up your ass the whole game? And gee, is it any coincidence that the player (Marta) that was being bent over all day only happened to be the Women's FIFA WORLD PLAYER OF THE YEAR????? What is even more pathetic about all this, is that it made headlines. The fact that there is so little passion, so little conflict, so little drama, that we are actually having an article written about the controversy of a little chest bump between two female players? This and the Abbey Wambach tackle are the only two controversial things that have happened in over 16 weeks? There almost isn't a day that goes by in the men's world without controversy of some kind. And this is what people get all up in arms about? OMG - it's like the idea that a girl didn't intentionally handle a ball or commit a foul, so therefore it doesn't count. Are you kidding me?

And the third point which is just so typical of females. All three of these woman were on the controversial World Cup roster 2 years ago and are currently on the same pro team.

"I've always said this -- she always hates it when I do -- but Hope's seriously the best goalkeeper in the world," said Saint Louis defender Tina Ellertson. "There's nobody in her league."

Athletica captain Lori Chalupny feels the same way.

"She's kept up in this league, really, and we're in second place, I think in large part due to her. She comes up with game-saving plays every game for us," Chalupny said.

Oh really? Is that why you acted like children and SHUNNED her from the squad after she got a RAW deal from the coach? And by shunning, I mean she was told she couldn't eat meals with them (after her comments about she should have been the one to be playing in the semi final match which the US lost) and she ended up not continuing to stay in the same hotel as the team along with not flying on the same plane back. Because her teammates acted like a bunch of selfish girls instead of professional athletes like the men do. What happened then would have never happened on a men's team - ANY of it. And now - two of her teammates are singing her praises. I would have told all of them to kiss my ass and I want a public team apology.

It saddens me to no end that everyone in the women's world running the show has this concept that we have to dress up the pigs and pink elephants and put on a smile and pretend that everything should be a happy land with candy and ice cream and trying to make the world believe it too, instead of focusing on the other strong qualities that the women's game can bring. Focus on how to market to their customer base and yet actually gain respect from the rest of the sporting world for the women's game. The reality is that there are very few lasting women's sports with a fan base. Tennis is probably the most popular in my opinion. Basketball has some success but is also financially supported by the NBA. In true women's fashion, the only time women athletes get high level exposure is in these scenarios:
1. Phenoms like the chinese young golfer, the Williams sisters with their power and athleticism, Mia Hamm a staple of the US team since she was 14
2. Sexy girls - think Anna Kournikova and Maria Sharapova
3. Controversial story lines like the Women's World Cup a few years ago.

That's it. The WPS has a prime opportunity to build something here and they are failing miserably in doing it. Instead of saying we are the best league in the world which is complete bunk because they should be saying best WOMEN'S league in the world, they should focus on the quality of character of the women in the league. How over 90% are college educated grads. How they are strong independent woman who have had to consistently overcome adversity to achieve success at the highest level. How it doesn't matter what your race is or your height or size - that anyone can compete in this game. How these women are positive role models for female youths. And mothers - isn't this what you want your daughter to look up to?

I know - they should just hire me to run the league and I would fix it all. Maybe someday they will, until then, I will have to continue to be disappointed in the decisions that are made at all levels and only hope that someone like me will step in and save this ship from ultimately failing too. If it goes down for a second time - there may be no miraculous third to make it work. I hope that I am wrong, but I fear that I am right. This is one of those times that one must be a realist and not an idealist if you want to succeed.

My First Selfless Act as a Mother (or Traiterous Fan)

So my husband and I had decided that little Baby Mort was going to grow up a Seattle Sports Fan. As a result we added stuff in his room that we had from our sports teams and then of course added some Sounders stuff in there as well. What we didn't have was any Seachicken...I mean Seahawks fan stuff in there. Being that I am a Rams fan and the Seahawks are in our division - you can imagine how this is a bit hard to swallow. So the other day by chance I happened to see a small little Seahawk flag (at 50% off mind you) that I thought would make a good little edition to his room. So I bought it and it will be hanging up shortly. It was hard though buying something that represents a direct rival of something I support. Ah the joys of being a parent. And so it begins....

My Hubby's Eye Candy

That would be Leslie Osbourne and Heather Mitts - both US Women National Teamers

Eye Candy

Like a fine wine....he just gets better with age.......



The boys on a warm up trot....

Justice

Convicted Wall Street swindler Bernard Madoff was sentenced to 150 years in prison (the maximum sentence) Monday for a fraud that the judge called so "extraordinarily evil" that he needed to send a message to potential copycats and to victims who demanded harsh punishment.

Unless he later wins a reduced sentence, Madoff will spend the rest of his life behind bars because federal inmates are not eligible for parole.

"Here the message must be sent that Mr. Madoff's crimes were extraordinarily evil and that this kind of manipulation of the system is not just a bloodless crime that takes place on paper, but one instead that takes a staggering toll," Chin said.

The judge said the estimate that Madoff has cost his victims more than $13 billion was conservative because it did not include money from feeder funds.

"Objectively speaking, the fraud here was staggering," he said.

Prosecutor Lisa Baroni said Madoff deserved a life sentence because he "stole ruthlessly and without remorse."

The jailed Madoff already has taken a severe financial hit: Last week, a judge issued a preliminary $171 billion forfeiture order stripping Madoff of all his personal property, including real estate, investments and $80 million in assets Ruth Madoff had claimed were hers. The order left her with $2.5 million.
The terms require the Madoffs to sell a $7 million Manhattan apartment where Ruth Madoff still lives. An $11 million estate in Palm Beach, Fla., a $4 million home on Long Island and a $2.2 million boat will be put on the market, as well.

Have fun with that $2.5 mill Ruth!!!! Really couldn't have happened to nicer people.....

Priceless

The US beat Spain (the #1 ranked team in the world) 2-0 today to advance to the final of the Confederations Cup. This marks the first time a US team has advanced to a final in a major FIFA tournament. Good job boys! You overcame a lot to get to this point. Now here comes Brazil again -barring some miracle from South Africa.

Mission Impossible

As I have replayed the events of the Confederations Cup through my head this past week, I have once again found excitement and hope with the US team (not that I had ever lost it) and yet have lost faith once again in my fellow compatriots. Why? It's quite simple.

The US had a goal over a year ago of qualifying for the CC - which they did by wining the Gold Cup. The CC is a tournament held the year before the World Cup in the WC host country as a sort of tune-up tournament for competition. It really means nothing more than competitive matches and some bragging rights at the end. Well and of course every team gets about $1 million bucks - which most of which was probably spent on travel and the like attending the tournament anyway. The teams that get to compete in this tournament are essentially comprised of the following regions - the CONCACAF Gold Cup winner (North and Central America/Caribbean Isles), South America winner - I think they are CONMEBOL, the European Championship winners and runner up, the Asia Cup Champions and runner up, the host country, and the African Cup Champions. So 2 groups of 8.

When the draw was set - it was clear there was a lopsided draw and the result was the US was once again seeded in a Group of Death (like in the 2006 WC). A group of death is where there are 3 strong teams that the results could go any which way and one team will be a possible surprising early exit of the tournament. It's one of those where if your team is in the Group of Death - you instantly catch your breath and go - oh shit. Typically there are only one or two possible groups of death in the WC due to seeding. So in the CC this year (in South Africa) we were seeded in a group that contained Brazil, Italy and Egypt. Brazil and Egypt being ranked #4 and 5 in the world by FIFA.

We came out against Brazil - a 5 time WC champion and got spanked 3-0. We deserved it. However, we got an undeserved red card. Or should I say - dubious red card, putting us down a man for about half the match. Considering that two of Brazil's starting eleven is paid a combined $100 million salary - they aren't exactly the team you want to go down a man to. Next up was Italy - the current defending WC Champions. In 06 we found ourselves in a precarious situation with Italy - we ended up tieing them, they had a player sent off - we were elated, then we had a player sent off - we were bummed - we had another player sent off - there was a universal collective hush and a sigh of - oh no by US fans around the world. 9 v 10 against Italy and we are tied and need a win to help us stay in the tournament. Well we kept it tied but the result was we had one of the best displays of character for that remaining half that made all Americans proud regardless of the outcome. It will be one of those games forever talked about. And - we were the only team Italy did not beat in the WC that year.

So now here we are in the Italy game at the CC, playing against a team who has a young talented American Italian - who spurned the US to play for Italy - and who goes on to score twice on us. Bitter taste that was. Not to mention - we get done by the referee again. We get a man sent off on a crap call. So now we are down a man for another half of the match against the reigning WC Champions - not exactly a good sign - and we had been doing well until that point. In comes the American against us and he scores within a minute.

After these two games - which remember mean nothing other than a good test of competition and to see where some things are at with our team - the US Fans turn on their head and the calls for the Head Coach's head on a platter begin. Now I will say I didn't necessarily agree with a couple of his decisions - but he has a heck of a lot more information than I do on all things regarding his team, so one must put trust in that. The irony here is that everyone is screaming for a World Class coach (ours is pretty decent if you ask me) and they all think that somehow a better coach will magically transform our national team players into mega superstars - which they are not. They are competent athletes, but none is a superstar. People cried that they lacked grit and determination - making that the coach's fault. What I am amazed by the plethora of "fire the coach and change up the lineup" (which that definitely will not help) is the lack of rational thought and understanding that goes into coaching a team both leading up to and during game day by fans. And because our coach is a bit more of a thinker - an introverted man who uses his intelligence to analyze situations instead of acting like an out of control emotional baboon - people think he lacks heart and character.

Now I should of course not be surprised at my fellow arrogant human/American beings. they have grown up in an ideology that we are or should be the best at everything, and the concept of self reflection and rational perspective is lost on them.

So into game three we go. We have a million and one shot at advancing to the semis. But guess what? WE PERSEVERED and got a little lady luck for once. Even though the ref denied us a clear hand ball on the goal line (it sometimes sucks being an American who is hated by the world - we can all thank George Bush for that), we pulled out a 3-0 victory. And because Brazil gifted us a win against Italy by 3-0 - we squeaked through on goal differential and goals scored. GO FIGURE!

So then as to be expected - half of the haters on the coach shut up..... temporarily. And of course the players basically told the press that regardless that no one back home believed in them and were dogging on them - they believed in each other. My boy Bradley scored on Father's Day again - what a treat for his dad the coach. And now we get to play two more games. The next being tomorrow against........wait for it........Spain.

The #1 ranked team in the world and who has not been beaten in 35 straight matches. Is our quest hopeless? Maybe. But do we at least get to try? Hell yeah we do. But what I find upsetting is knowing that if we lose (which the odds are heavily favored that we will) that all those haters will come right back out and start the fire our coach calls. Because at the end of the day, just as they look at their little Super Spawn of a child with rose colored eyes and think they are the best thing in the world and no other child is better than their own, they too think we can and should overcome the greats in our sport, relying simply on athleticism and heart. They think that magically there is some tactical advantage we can play that will make us beat these teams. After all .......we are Americans. We saw the movie Hoosiers - it can be done.

I hope we do win tomorrow - for more than the simple pleasure of knowing we knocked off the best team in the world and I can stand up with a big fuck you to all the "supporters" who were less than supportive. On the flip side, that would simply make them think we deserve to be a higher ranking than we are, that we deserve to have this kind of cult status all the time - which we don't, and that we somehow just haven't been playing up to our potential.

I simply think - this is the nature of the game, some you win, some you lose, and sometimes you just get lucky. But that is why you play the game.

Deserved Punishment?

The Cleveland Browns Wide Receiver Dante Stallworth was sentenced yesterday after pleading guilty to manslaughter charges stemming from a DUI in which he killed a man. As a result, his sentence was 30 days in jail, a fine, 2 years of house arrest (but he was still able to play football), 8 years of probation and his license revoked for life.

Today the NFL Commissioner came out and decided to indefinitely suspend Stallworth citing the following statement:
"The conduct reflected in your guilty plea resulted in the tragic loss of life and was inexcusable," NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell told Stallworth in a letter Thursday, the league said. Excerpts from the letter were posted on the NFL Web site.

"While the criminal justice system has determined the legal consequences of this incident, it is my responsibility as NFL commissioner to determine appropriate league discipline for your actions, which have caused irreparable harm to the victim and his family, your club, your fellow players and the NFL."

While the family of the deceased was good with his punishment, I 'm sure that Stallworth thought he was getting a good deal since he still got to play football. And yet I felt shock when I first read this. Is this a deserved punishment?

And then the reality that too many people - not to mention famous athletes that make bad decisions, get off too light in the wake of tragic circumstances came to mind. I commend Roger Goodell for always waiting for the justice system to sort things out (like with Michael Vick) before taking action. And at the same time - taking additional action than the justice system did.

I find a sad irony in the notion that these stars make enough money that they can either ay to be chauffeured when they are drinking or have a member of their "posse" drive them around. You would hope that one would be smarter. i just hopes this helps with the education of our youth.

Thanks

As I was standing in line at Jamba Juice today after my ever so fun 3 hour glucose test - 16 hours of fasting and 4 blood sticks - a woman walks by me and goes......you are soooo (big) pregnant. Thanks - that made me feel better. And I was even thinking as I stood there that my tshirt was disguising my bigness. Guess I was wrong.

And earlier in the day as I was standing in the elevator during one of the hours of waiting, another woman asked me when I was due, only to hear the one line I really hate people saying to me....oh my goodness how have you been dealing with this heat? So I of course made a comment that this heat was nothing compared to what I have lived in. Try August in Missouri. then you will know what heat is.

And before that as I was sitting in the chairs outside the lab waiting for one of my sticks, a woman was waiting by the elevator, and I just couldn't resist asking her - cause I was at least the same size as her both in height and baby bigness - so how far along are you? 36 weeks she says. 36 FREAKING WEEKS. I am 29. God help me.

There is no way Baby Mort makes it to Aug 30th.

Starting Baby Mort out Right

Our baby will be a Seattle Sounders supporter. Is this the cutest thing you've seen or what?



And thanks to Angie and Rob for this cute top as well.



And here our baby's bed is ready! Actually we finally got the nursery done (sans baby shower gifts and the extras) the other night.



And the pregnant momma (looking less big than in person) with her wild hair.

WOW - We have movement

So of course you know that Baby Mort has been moving by now. But last night, he really moved. I felt what I swore was his elbow and forearm drag across my belly. It was such a pronounced movement that if I had been looking at my belly when he did it, I probably would have seen my stomach move. And I am surprised at how high up I can feel him now. For some reason my brain seems to almost be going in reverse now. I find myself thinking - isn't he just an apple? And of course knowing he is the size of a large ear of corn and a pound and a half of hamburger sitting in there I feel like my brain is pulling tricks on me. The thought of gaining 15 more pounds which is what is supposed to happen - is really starting to frighten me - and I won't even tell you all the bad reasons why. You'd think that was TMI..........

6 mo checkup

passed with flying colors.

Baby measurement - perfect
Baby heartbeat - perfect
Momma blood pressure - perfect

Next - will have to do the glucose test in a month (again). *sigh* But that is the last needle prick until the hospital.

How big is Baby Mort? Well he is the size of an ear of corn - or about 12 inches long. And he is over a pound. My guess is that little porker is probably about a pound and a half if he is still on his same weight gain schedule. And he is thumping me pretty good now. So much that I can see his big kicks quiver my belly. I saw the chart in the doctor's office of how big actual size he would be in 2 weeks - I was like, how can that fit in there. And then I realized - he is almost that size already and that big inside me already. Kind of was a weird revelation.

I don't know how my weight was as the nurse didn't comment on it this time - but I think it is right on track for a normal pregnancy. At the same time, I feel like I have become quite the little piggy this last week. All the stages seem to happen for the most part on track - or I should say that every stage or time that something seems to change a little bit with my body, it is right around the new week cycle or new month cycle. Part of how I know we have entered a new point in this process.

So anyway it was a sign that little Baby Mort was getting ready to go through a growth spurt. I guess momma was right cause he is growing (starting to fill out his frame with some baby fat) and it has made me want to eat. Not that I am having urges consistently throughout the day or that my stomach seems too small to gorge myself. It's actually quite the contrary - which is in some ways scary. My coworker said that if I hadn't gotten to that point yet I probably wouldn't. But here I am - wanting to stuff my face when I eat - at least that has been the last week's experience. But I guess if Baby Mort is telling me that he needs me to eat a little extra, that I need to listen to my body. And no, Tony has not started gaining sympathy weight yet.....at least he doesn't look it and he isn't admitting to me he is. In fact he's been a little surprised at my mowing lately.

I asked the doctor if she could give me a focus pill since I seem to be having a problem "doing" things. Even if I list them out on paper, it's like I just can't seem to do them. And for someone that is typically in 5th gear (as my husband says) that is so frustrating to be in second gear trying to tell yourself to get back in 5th gear. The midwife said that because all the blood is in my uterus and going to the baby right now (instead of equally distributed throughout my body), that is why I am having that problem - and that I just have to deal with that. Frustrating.

On the one hand I had always swore if I ever got pregnant I wasn't going to be one of "those" pregnant women that seems to space out. As a business professional, it really used to piss me off that I felt I had to do more work because of a pregnant coworker's spaciness. And now, I am frustrated that I can't get my brain to get in gear and go go go like the A-train usually does. On the other hand, it was an interesting moment of clarity when I thought - so this is what happens to a man when all the blood drains out of his head and into his penis.......ah....an interesting epiphany.

My Kitty has a whole new outlook

Well it was a little worrisome there for awhile on whether or not Bambi was going to get to continue to hang out in the world of the living. Her peeing and pooping on the carpet problem was just getting out of hand. And having a baby amplified the problem. We had done a spot check on the carpet and found that it was worse than we thought. Luckily, Tony had won some carpet cleaning services he had won for free as part of a charity fundraiser for our soccer club, so we got the whole house cleaned! We haven't done that at all since we moved in 4 years ago. The result is that the carpets look great! And the smell is not a problem.

After a couple more vet trips and lots of research on cats, we decided to alter a few things. We lifted the door to the cat box going into the garage so Bambi can always know - this is you spot. And that hopefully the extra smell factor will help draw her to the spot. The second thing we did was to put less litter in the pan - which apparently cats don't like 5 inches of litter - who knew? And then we switched out our good brand of litter and went back to the clay kind and using an unscented version. The vet's rationale is that cats typically don't like what humans like. Our sense of smell is conditioned to be more odor pleasing, but to a cat since their sense of smell is so much greater than ours, they feel like they are being perfumed out.

I am happy to report that there have been no foul ups with the carpets since the cleaning! I have not had to stuff her once either! AND I have seen her go in the box on her own twice! I can't tell you how happy Tony and I are. Now I know it is only a few days - but it seems we have turned a corner on this. That and we are still giving her the prescription food. But who cares. I am just happy she gets to remain in the land of Mortenson.

I got DMV'ed

Do you remember the movie Beetlejuice? And the scene where he descends into the waiting room of Hell's Purgatory? He was sitting next to the witch doctor that had the number like 4 and his number was something like 1,234,689 and the number on the screen said, "now servicing number 3". Well that was my experience yesterday at the DMV.

So one of the really cool things is that my boss bought me and Tony season tickets to the Sounders - and they are really good tickets. But one of the issues about going is - I can't really walk far without it being a chore. So we realized that walking in general and all that was only going to get worse for me over the coming months and so we figured that I might be able to get a handicap parking permit while I am pregnant due to my condition. Turns out - I can!!! So I look online and it says what to do for disabled permits and such - which I already had the paperwork for. Then I look for locations - just to check and I see that the locations are showing a zero wait time. Fantastic I think to myself. So I go home, get the paperwork and head to the DMV.

Well by the time I got there - of course there are 20 people ahead of me. So I go up to the little number ticket and choose my option for permits and out prints a number. Now if you have ever been to the DMV you know that the numbering system is completely flawed and makes no sense. They assign different series of numbers to different items and then they just jump around from teller to teller so right when you think - oh this is it, my turn. NOPE! They jump to a different number series. Then throughout this series of waiting, you see all the people take their 10 minute(smoke) break so the tellers go from 4 to 1. And of course there is always the problem cases that take 10 minutes a piece. Mix that in with the guy who is trying to do driving tests for people, and you there you have it. The clusterfuck they call the DMV.

And as you are waiting in this lobby of uncomfortable plastic chairs feeling like Beetlejuice and the never going to get to you number while the slow and completely bored workers go through their paces, they make sure to conveniently remind you of this important piece of information......... a sign on the wall that says, "Important. Threatening or intimidating a public servant is a felony!" Now I have to admit - I in no way see them as a "public servant". A public servant is one to me who does something for no pay. Not someone who is employed by the government, gets paid a decent wage with benefits and gets every federal holiday off. That doesn't sound like they are "serving me" much. And going back to my knowledge of the Constitution and instruction on my rights, the Freedom of Speech clause was enacted so that I as a member of the people had the right to say whatever I wanted against another person acting as an agent of the government. My Freedom of Speech does not allow me to necessarily say anything against a regular civilian, but an agent of the government - which is anyone who is employed by the government - it does. So how can it be a felony if I tell one of these jokers off???

Anywho that is just a side ramble as I was sitting in that room. So then I start to notice....wait a minute that joker came in AFTER me. Then it continues - 4 more people who came in after me were serviced before me. Then I take a breath and think - well there are a couple of jokers up front who were here before me and they haven't been served yet. Until I realize that the tellers then called out to those guys names and so they had been served before I even walked in and were simply waiting on paperwork. And you know it is bad when the lady next to you goes - you were here before those guys even. Then, it happens. My muber magically displays and the imaginary computer lady says, "now servicing number 531." My pregnant self gets up and waddles up to the front. I pull out my form and tell the lady I need to get a disabled permit. She looks at me in her - I have been working at the DMV for way too long stare and I don't really care about your issue and says "you're going to have to go to a vehicle licensing place, this is the driver's license office. We don't do permits here."

Are you fucking kidding me????

So the pregnant woman very calmly takes her form and walks out - meanwhile fighting back tears because I always cry at dumb crap like this. The frustration and incompetance is like just too much for me for some reason. But I was determined I was not going to cry over the DMV today. Now seriously, if I thought for a minute I had to go to the vehicle licensing place or anything on the web site said to take it to a vehicle licensing place - do you think I would have wasted my time with the DMV????

That would be a big fat no.

So I now go to the vehicle licensing place and of course there is only two people ahead of me and they are both with a teller. So then the one person leaves and the teller to the far right goes "I can help the next person with Renewals". I take one step forward as she says this and then when she says Renewals, I step right back. She looks at me with eager interest and says, "Renewals?" I shake my head no and she asks the guy behind me. He too shakes his head and so we just stand there. The lady then just continues to stand in her position while me and this other guy just wait for the other teller to finish. Was this chick on like day 2 of her job? Was she really not cross trained to do anything else other than renewals? Meanwhile we all stand there like bumps on a log. Finally a woman came in who had a renewal and she was able to assist her. The guy in front of me finally leaves and I go up to the lady and hand her my form and tell her I need a disabled permit. Of course she too looks at me all bored like but does her job and gives me the pass. And get this - I didn't even have to pay!!!!!

So after this fun 2 hour excursion away from work (glad the boss was out), I did what every other pregnant woman would have done in my situation.

I drove 100 yards to the Dairy Queen and got myself a Blizzard.

Houston we have movement!

Yesterday Baby Mort decided that I was going to start feeling his little kicks and stretches. I knew I would know the difference between baby and anything else....like gas, and I was right. I have been feeling him pretty regular ever since. I thought I would feel him higher up but actually I am feeling him pretty low. Sometimes it is a multiple of tapping flutters. Sometimes it is a single light thump. Usually I feel it more when there is a little extra pressure on my lower abdomen.

On my babycenter updates they said he should be about 3/4 of a pound now and as long as a carrot. Well he is probably about a full pound since he was 14oz at the ultrasound last Tuesday. This makes me wonder if I will be delivering early if Baby Mort has been consistently big.

Friday I bought my very first Baby Mort things. I just bought two packs of short sleeved onesies - but I wanted to have something that I bought first. Looking at these cute little onesies reminds you of just how small he will be when he is born. I probably won't be thinking that however when he is popping out of my tata though. Of course I bought the 8-12 pound baby ones instead of the newborn. Both Tony and I were over 8 pounds and Baby Mort is bigger than the average baby so that just made sense.

Baby Mort is a Boy!!!!

I cannot tell you how big of a relief it is that he is a boy. And the proof was definitive - we had a good shot of the tripod. Now comes the hard part....naming him, figuring out how to decorate the nursery, and of course figuring out whether or not to circumsize. That last one is a doozy.

Here are a couple sneak peaks of the little boy. Crazy to think this is growing inside me. I know I have a baby - but seeing it on the ultrasound again was a bit of a mind warp. I don't know why but I almost expected to see nothing in my belly - although it has been growing. And Mort was quite the active one during the ultrasound - at one point I was like - wasn't his head just over here on this side. The lady laughed and said yes, he is moving quite a bit. Why am I surprised. I fuly expect to have a little soccer player that will be kicking me constantly.

At least Baby Mort is a healthy baby. I guess he has long arms and legs, a nice round head and a chubby belly. They told me 84 percentile for size. Almost makes me a little nervous what he will eventually pop out at since he seems to have been a smidge bigger the whole way. But we aren't thinking about that day yet. I have a lot of days to go.

I have........

a banana. LOL

Well that is what the baby center place said any way. I have a one pound banana from head to toes. We have now moved into the arena where they measure the baby from head to toes instead of head to butt. I feel like I already have a 3 pound banana in there though. And Baby Mort has been stretching me quite a bit this past week. And if it weren't for the ultrasound confirming otherwise - I would swear I am having twins.

We find out tomorrow exactly "what" Baby Mort really is - aside from being the size of a banana that is. :) Waiting month to month to hear the heartbeat is a bit grueling at times. Mainly because I STILL do NOT feel ANYTHING!!!!!! I know Baby Mort is growing though cause my stomach is getting so big. So I at least feel confident that it is alright. I will tell you however, I am so glad to be finding out tomorrow so I can just start telling people what Baby Mort is and instead of listening to everyone in their mother guess at what it is. Really - I know it sounds weird, but it is sort of making my head spin. All these wives tales of what it is and why it is what it is....blah blah blah. Everyone has an opinion, the Chinese Conception calendar can't even get on the same page with itself and I have no clue whatsoever.

Soccer 101

Saw this in the Seattle Times and thought I would post it for you non-soccer die hards. All of it is accurate with the exception of the Cautions - you can get cautions for more than a fould....like for Dissent. Mouting off to the referee and telling him how full of crap he is at a certain call he made - that will get you booked too. But overall it is a good recap.

Soccer 101: Everything a new Sounders FC fan needs to know

By José Miguel Romero - Seattle Times staff reporter

A whole new breed of Seattle fan is filling the seats at Qwest Field for Sounders FC matches. Sounders FC soccer is the hottest team and the hottest ticket in Seattle, its first three home games sold out.

You want to be there to see just what the buzz is all about. You want to bask in the crowd at Qwest Field. You want to get tickets to this show on turf and shake a scarf, soccer's version of a rally towel or pompom.

Except there's one problem — you're new to the game, and your soccer knowledge goes no further then two nets, a ball and two teams kicking it back and forth until one team manages to score a goal.

Fear not, wannabe Seattle soccer enthusiast. This primer gives you enough basic knowledge of the game to feel like you can hang with the many knowledgeable fans sitting around you at Qwest Field. And we won't forget you, either, season-ticket holder and/or hoarse-voiced member of one of the supporters groups who loves Sounders FC and another club team in Europe with a passion. You have a place in this Soccer 101 course, too.

"Just engulf yourself in the beauty of the game," Sounders FC defender James Riley said when asked what advice he'd give to those new to the sport. "The game's very dynamic. There's no set plays. A lot of things happen on the fly.

"It's almost kind of like real life. You never know what's going to happen."


Five questions and answers for a new fan:

1. What does "F.C." stand for?
"Football Club." It's a nod to the European influence on the sport — top clubs in England, for example, use FC at the end of their names.

2. What's the most common question players get about the rules of soccer?
"What is offside?" Offside is called by an official when a player on the offensive does not have either the ball or two defensive players between him or her and the goal. It nullifies a lot of scoring chances and is sometimes a very close call.


3. Why does the game clock stop at 45 minutes and 90 minutes, even though the game is still going on?
The referee is the official timekeeper of the match, and can allow extra time (also called stoppage time or injury time) to the end of both halves if he or she feels it is warranted. So the game continues until the referee blows the final set of whistles that ends the half or game.

4. Why does the game end, even if the score is tied?
A winner does not need to be produced in a regular-season game. Ties, or draws, count in the regular-season standings, so if a team's record is 2-2-1, it has two wins, two losses and a tie. The draw is worth one point (three for a win, zero for a loss) and in MLS, playoff berths are determined by points in the final regular-season standings. Therefore, Sounders FC's nine points (three wins) is very important.

5. Why all the nonstop chanting and singing from the crowd?
That's how fans around the world show support for their team. No artificial sound effects, just natural, creative, original noise.


Five "Did You Knows?" for the avid fan:

• Did you know ... that Sounders FC defender Tyrone Marshall has the names of his four kids (Derby, Morgan, Marley and Kingston) tattooed near both shoulders and that he touches the tattoos and crosses himself every time he takes the pitch for a game?

• Did you know ... that midfielder Freddie Ljungberg puts his right shoe on first before a game? And that midfielder Steve Zakuani always listens to English rap and R&B before games?

• Did you know ... that coach Sigi Schmid has brought his scarf-wearing tradition over from his former team, the Columbus Crew? Schmid donned a scarf as a good-luck charm for every game, no matter the weather, as the Crew went on to win the MLS championship. He's worn a Sounders FC scarf of some type for every game. "That's something that really wasn't planned and something that sort of happened and evolved," Schmid said.

• Did you know ... that goalkeeper Kasey Keller doesn't have any pregame superstitions, preferring to follow the same routine before every match? "Repetition more than superstition," he said.

• Did you know ... the three officials on the field are able to communicate with one another with an earpiece and a receiver with an activation button attached to their sides? The head referee and the two assistant referees, who are the people on the sidelines with the out-of-bounds flags, use the communications devices for game purposes only.


Glossary

A glossary of soccer terms to impress your neighbor and help you can hang with the hardcores (some information taken from the "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Soccer"):

4-1-3-2: The player formation that Sounders FC has used to start games. The numbers refer to defenders, midfielders and forwards on the field from back to front, not including the goalkeeper. Seattle has used the following lineup in front of goalkeeper Kasey Keller — James Riley, Jhon Kennedy Hurtado, Tyrone Marshall and Zach Scott as defenders, Osvaldo Alonso as the defensive center midfielder in front of the defense, Steve Zakuani, Brad Evans and Sebastien LeToux as midfielders and Fredy Montero and Nate Jaqua at forward.

Corner kick: The reward for a ball that is knocked over the end (goal) line by the defense, which allows the attacking team an opportunity to place the ball in a corner near the opposing goal and kick it back into play. Some of the best goals come off corner kicks, as a high-arcing ball can be headed into the goal or some kind of chaos could ensue in front of the goal, with the ball finding its way in.

Throw-in: When the ball goes out of bounds along the sideline, the team that did not cause it to go out of bounds gets to inbound the ball with a two-handed toss from where it went out.

Penalties (penalty kicks): Free, non-defended kicks on goal that pit a shooter against the opposing goalkeeper, one-on-one, from a specifically marked spot in front of the goal. These are either the result of a foul in the goal box or used to determine the winning team of a match when one is required.

Center or cross: A pass from a player on the wings toward the middle intended for a teammate, usually in front of the goal.

Caution: A yellow-card warning issued to a player by the referee for a particularly hard foul. If another yellow card is issued, it results in a red card and the player is ejected. In MLS, once a player picks up his fifth yellow card, he is suspended one game, regardless of why or how the caution was given. At the eighth yellow card, another suspension, and at card No. 11, a third game. However, if a player goes three games without receiving a caution, he can have one of his previous cautions wiped away, but only once a season.

Own goal: When a defender knocks the ball into his own team's goal accidentally. It counts as a goal for the other team.

Tackle: To slide and steal the ball from an attacking player.

Nutmeg: Putting the ball through another player's legs.

Penalty box: 18-yard area in front of the goal within which a goalkeeper can use his hands to touch the ball. A foul here against an attacking player results in a penalty kick.

Foul: Contact ruled hard enough by the referee to award the ball to the team that was fouled.

Clean sheet: Soccer's version of a shutout, e.g, Kasey Keller has three clean sheets this season.

Copyright © 2009 The Seattle Times Company

Baby Mort

Man - that little baby ticker up there makes me happy on some days and sad on others. Happy when I feel progress that we are finally getting to the back half of this process and sad when I realize how much more I got to go. And anyone who enjoys being pregnant needs to be checked into a mental facility for evaluation. Anywho I thought I would post the first picture of me and Baby Mort. Not bad photography for an iPhone and an arm's length away that I couldn't even see eh?

5 months next week and we find out just exactly what Baby Mort will be. Girl? Boy? Don't even have a guess. I want a boy but always felt being a 4th generation first born female that the female was going to win out in that department. I guess we will just have to see which one of Tony's swimmer's made it there first. He initially felt it would be a girl but has been thinking about a boy more lately. We felt boy off the initial ultrasound, but I guess we shall see how good our guessing is soon enough.



Oh and no, I have not felt anything. :( But I am growing so I know it is still progressing.

No Pressure No Problem.....Intimidation

Ever wondered what it was like to go to a third world country wearing the jersey of your national team, competing in a World Cup Qualifying match where there is only 100 people on your side and 40,000 that hate you? Hoping the crowd doesn't decide to rush the field? Notice the big metal chain link fence around the crowd....Our boys came back from being down by two to tie it up in the last 15 minutes on the road in El Salvador.

My Witch Doctor

Do you ever get yourself in one of those situations where at first you think nothing about it and then afterwards you look back and think - that probably wasn't the wisest idea? Well that happened to me last week. I have been having problems with my back and it got so bad that a nerve pinched in my back and made it so I couldn't' walk. Even walking with crutches was excruciating. So I came into work on Friday, my boss noticed the crutches and immediately said I needed to go see his witch doctor. Not it really isn't a witch doctor - more of an energy healer. So we make the phone call and my boss tells me it is going to be $250 but he will pay for it. He whips out the money in cash and gives it to me. I go home and tell Tony about it and he immediately is not ok with it. I of course was like - but it might be someone who can help me - the optimist when it comes to my back. So because it was downtown in an office building that was closed on Saturday and I was going to be meeting with men I had never met and led in through a side door, my husband decided that he was going with. We get there and the Asian guy leads us in. It is one of those buildings set up of one and two man offices in an old old building.

So we sit down and the guy gives me a sheet of paper with 4 views of the body on it and tells me to write my name and two phone numbers to reach me on it. That was it. No paperwork, no filling out anything else. So a few minutes later this guy shows up at the door behind us and he kind of looks like a bum. It turns out he is the energy healer. So a few minutes after that we are led into a room that overlooks the building across the street. The energy healer guy walks in, the Asian guy walks in, and then two guys who I have no idea where they came from, also walked in. One was about my age - the other about 23. So here I am in a room with 4 other men aside from my husband - at this point I am very happy he is there because that is a bit of an intimidating thing. Apparently at one point he was pondering how he was going to beat everyone off with my crutches and grab me and make a run for it he felt so sketched out.

The Asian guy throughout the whole process touches me at various points on my back, while the energy healer guy presses on points on my front and then has the younger guys "hold" their fingers at certain other points on my body. At first you would think it was an acupressure type of situation, but the reality is it they weren't pressing hard enough to really do anything. At some point through this process the guy about my age goes and sits in the chair behind me and apparently starts meditating. And through it all, the energy healer would say things like - yes, yes, it is releasing. Do you feel that? And then the Asian guy would say - her breathing has changed - and the young guy would say, her pulse has changed. Or - she got taller. Now there were a couple times I thought - I think I do feel a little better, but other times I was like - I don't feel shit and I really just don't know what to say about this. So I would just nod and smile a little bit. After an hour he then adjusts my neck - which in hind sight was probably not wise since I don't even think this guy was licensed. And really - my neck has been sore ever since. So after an hour and half, he finally puts me face down on the table to address my back.

He had previously said all my problems were stemming from my feet and that I was a mess. Ok. So I am now on my stomach and that is of course not very fun. He starts shaking my low back which of course has me dying. At various points he tries to force my low back to do something or shift in place - remember - I was not going to a chiropractor - but an energy healer - so this was a bit odd for me. He then at some point started banging on my upper back with his fist so hard that Tony just about came unglued at this point. I'm actually surprised I don't have a bruise. But I was also trying not to laugh when it was happening - cause I have never had anyone beat on my back before.

In the end he had me get off the table and walk. My walking was really the same as when I came in - but of course he tried to make it seem like it was better cause I technically wasn't walking with my crutches. But I could have walked into that office without my crutches - it just would have still been painful. So the pain was about the same. At that point it was kind of like - ok I think I just want to agree with anything so I can get out of here.

So the session ends and we go with the Asian guy to schedule another appointment cause the guys said I needed to be seen again before he left in a few days (apparently he didn't live here anymore and wouldn't be back for 5 weeks). So we scheduled it for Monday and then i mention something about payment. The Asian guy tells me it will be $550. Excuse me I said. five hundred and fifty dollars? Yes he said. I was told it would be $250. No he said, my boss goes to the other guy who was on vacation and his rate was $175 an hour. The guy I saw was that guys "master teacher" and his rate was $300 an hour because the skill level was so much better. Are you for real? $300 an hour? Honestly people, for $550, I expect Jesus to come down from on high and give me a freaking miracle. And I was not feeling like a miracle had been worked. I said to the guy - well I only have $250. So he goes and talks to the energy healer and comes back and says - oh well he will take $350. I', like - well I still only have $250 - I don't have money like my boss. SO he tells me that we can do a payment plan and that it really is on the honor system - cause they only take cash. So I give him the $250 and away we go. After hours of reflection on it, my husband decided I was not going back there. He has seen too many of those first 48 shows about dumb deaths and was like - that was just not something he could handle and it was just too sketchy of a deal. My boss when he found out about the money was pretty pissed off. So we cancelled the appointment and did not go back. I am walking but not great and it is speculation on whether the energy healer really made me better or not. In the end, I am glad I have a husband that is not as trusting as I.